ThatShyGirl

Thanks!

yup

I'm going with my friend Madison (8th grader) and maybe my friend Sydney (senior)

lucky!

yeah I know but I havent been able to figure out how to reply with the new format.

welcome(:

I've tried to stop. I did for 70 days over the summer. Now, I'm just kinda indifferent about it all. It's been a few days, and everything is just kinda a blur now. I don't really care, but I know I should. I know I should apoligize and explain, but what I've figured out is when I'm trying to either fix a friendship or try to break it off evenly, I just end up getting even more mad at the other person. I don't even know if I want to risk fixing it with the possibility of just making it worse.

In my opinion, I think you should take the risk. It won't be fixed if you do nothing. Learn to control your temper (I have some issues with that too...) and as I said, try writing a letter, that way, you can just hand it over, and tell her to text you if she has any further questions. You won't get mad that way, and at least she'll understand. That cannot make things worse. Off course it would be best to talk to her, face to face, but I understand how difficult that is. I've written letters to my friends to explain my issues, and the system worked quite well for me. Just trying to give you some advice. The blur is normal, I have had it too. A lack of emotions in general, of any interest in the world, of focus on reality and today. It's something you'll have to snap out of. Yet prepare for the pain that will probably come rushing forward when you do. (that's at least how it went with me). Thepain will pass though, and then you'll need to start rebuilding yourself, and pick up where you left off. I believe in you, you are a good person, with a right and the qualities to be happy. It will take time, and effort, and you'll need the help of every one you can get. So I Would really advise you to go talk to her.

thanks(:

I'm not scared someone will read it. I don't care who reads it.
I'll try to explain it.
One of the reason I SH is because, well, I don't really have a reason to. Or they're really stupid. Both of my parents are still together, I wasn't abused or anything growing up, I didn't have a terrible childhood, I'm not medically diagnosed with any sort of mental illness, no one close to me has killed themselves. And that leads into why I do it. When I cut, and everything passes, I realize all of this, all over again. And it just me off that there are people in worse situations who aren't doing this sort of thing- who are stronger. And that just makes me want to cut even more.
That's what she called me out on. And I knew she was right, and she could tell I knew it too. "You're practically looking for a reason." That part isn't true, but everything else was.
We hadn't talked in days, and I just wanted to know if we were still friends. She has she's dealing with and she wishes that being ignored by her friends was her biggest worry. But you know what? If she would just say "I'm dealing with some right now and I don't want to talk," I would have left her alone. But she just let it all out. Being ignored sucks, yeah, but it wasn't my biggest worry. But as I said, I didn't explain it. I didn't want to. I'm not very good at explaining things, and it probably would have just pi.ssed her off even more. I worried, everyday, that I'd get a call or someone would walk up to me and tell me her or r or m killed themselves. But, I think no longer being friends is worse than one of them dying. At least when their dead, you don't have to go through the pain of seeing them being happy without you, seeing that they moved one while you're still hanging onto the past, even just of glimpse of them or their hair or their shoes in the hallway while switching classes. You have to deal with all of that when you both are still alive- still breathing- but no longer friends. When they're dead, the memories aren't bitter, they're still happy. Both, however, bring tears to your eyes. Knowing you won't be able to make anymore of those memories, knowing you'll never be hanging out on the weekends again, missing the conversations you use to have, missing telling them about a sports game or a project. Missing them is the hardest part, and it's one I can't seem to get over.

Hi, I know this nothing to do with me but he has got a point. There's always someone that cares you might not think so but there is. And i am sure that they will forgive you. Im sorry again i know this is not to do with me xx

Don't do anything stupid, I have togo to my therapy. I'll be back later today

To be honest, I understand exactly what you mean. I'm used to the problems with my mom, my dad, and even my disorders. none of my disorders is that extreme it disables me of having a regular life, if they are incalculated. I still have both my parents, no one near me died either. I have a good life right now, hell I spent more then a 1000 dollars on a guitar I'm building, just because I want to, and my dad paid it all. both my parents love me, even though they sometimes have trouble showing it. My brother is an etenral support, who realised his mistakes when I was younger, and still feels guilty about it. Yet I haven't stopped self-harming either. And I realise as well that there are a lot of people who have worse problems then we have. And that they manage to keep it together, to pull themselves together. You have to realise that self harming is addictive, and stopping it is not something that comes by itself. I know a few others who think about it the same way both of us do, justkiddiing is one of them (here on witty). But it's not impossible to stop. It won't help anyone for you to only sink deeper, and for me personally, that's what keep me alive. The happier and healtheir I am, the easier I can help others. That's what my life is about. I try to enjoy my spare time, and find a way to be truly happy, so I can show others it is possible to get out of any situation. But I have to tell you, I didn't do it alone. I had help from my family and friends, I still am in therapy. They are dissapointed when I have self harmed, but they don't judge me for it. You have to realise how it seems to her. SHe doesn't understand why you do it, and why yoou simply don't stop. You should explain it too her, else, she'll never understand. The fact she's so angry with you, proves that she cares for you. If she didn't she wouldn't be bothered. Try to stop, and ask her help. make her read this if you think you won't be able to explain it yourself, and if you think it's a decent explanation. If you don't think you'll be able to tell her, write her a letter. that way, you can rewrite it as often as you like, until you finally found the words to explain. But she is your friend, and she has the right to know. And if she has problems she 's dealing with, help her too. You can support each other, and personally, I think that's the best way of support there is. People who have a rough time, can find support with each other. You haven't lost them for good, not if they're true friends.

i wish it was real. it's simply a story in my head created by the remaining feelings for my ex girlfriend.

oh well i really liked the story anyways! and i'm sorry about your ex=(

its kinda hard to talk about. there are 3 of them. m switched schools, so i basically never talk to her anymore (possibly related to l's story). r and i dated, and afterwards everything just got really awkward and i couldn't let go. l called me out on something ive known about myself for a while. and it's part of the reason i self harm. i didn't want to explain it all to her, i just wanted to be done. if i had just kept my mouth shut and didn't bother her, then everything, at least for a little while longer, would be ok. id be happier, despite what anyone says (people saying i was happier before i hung out with them). i was happy with them, trying to help them gave me something to do, i guess. thats part of who i am: i'll want to fix anyone except myself. ill also ask too many questions, ill try digging where i should just let them be. most of the reason my life sucks, at least a little bit, is mostly internal. unless i care about it, i won't try. which is why my grades have been cr@p so far this year. except for art. i was just so.... angry i guess at l, that i didn't want to explain it to her. she obviously had her view on me, and wasnt going to change. so i texted her "screw it, im done. with you and r".
if i could, i wouldn't have sent that text. he'll, i wouldn't have even started that conversation. and now, because i opened my big, f.ucking mouth, i don't have any friends. i don't have anyone that actually cares about me. im alone with no future.

There's always someone who cares, believe me. I've had to admit to my best friend I was bi, and that I had a crush on one of our classmates. I dated his girlfriend, and I had to admit that too. He was for that one, for sure, but after 3 weeks, he forgave me, and we're still best friends. I understand you don't really like to talk about it. It's often rather hard to do. But believe me, I will never judge, no matter what, no matter how, no matter who. I've seen to much to do so. The fact you care so much speaks in your favour in my opinion, and makes you a wonderful person in itself. If you're willing to tell me what it is about you that you told, I might be able to help give it a place, But I understand if you don't ant to, afetr all, it's your privacy. We'll delete the entire conversation afterwards if you're scared someone will read it

why they wont forgive me has both a simple answer and a complex answer. The simple answer, it's part of me that won't change.

But what could be a part of you that's so bad? My friends forgave me for being kleptomanic, I'm a thief! Yet they don't care.

believe me nothing is impossible to forgive

Yeah, but im the polar opposite in the family. im the loner that no one understands. these girls wont forgive me, no matter what i do or say. im alone and no one really gives a t

Even though you're the opposite of the rest of your family, it doesn't mean they don't love you. I don't fit in at all with my family, they're one big bunch of snobs, While I'm a punker... We have barely anything in common, but they like me still. And why wouldn't they forgive you? as long as you didn't kill anyone, I wouldn't see why... Everything can be forgiven. And if they don't then it's more their fault then yours. You told them, confessed whatever you did or knew. That alone should grant you forgiveness

(i cant figure out how to reply to comments, sorry)
if they did, they dont anymore, or theyd move on in a week or two. everyone i miss, their gone. theyve all moved on. theyve forgotten me. i just cant get them out of my head. and its my fault their gone. and dont say it isnt, cuz it is. if i had just kept my god d@mn mouth shut, everything would be fine.

Do you have family? and what is it you said that's so awful? people usually do forgive you in time, for nearly every thing. I can tell

not me. no one would notice if i was gone

YOu might think so, but it's not true. Believe me, you don't want to die. You might want to end the pain, znd everything that's wrong in your life, but death is not the right answer. Therapy helps, if you find a good therapist. And everyone is loved by someone, and will be missed by even more, including you.

yes

I don't if anyone is mad at you or anything, but I personally don't think it should matter if you're a boy or a girl. You make great quotes, great formats, and you change lives. Isn't that all that should matter?

you're doing fine, so atleast that's good

true

yeah, you?

i could be better but im doing ok

you're doing fine, so atleast that's good

true

I'm doin alright

yeah, you?

i could be better but im doing ok

you're doing fine, so atleast that's good

true

it hasnt been working for me