TheAnaDiaries

size 2,
high heel shoes,
latest dress,
jimmy choo.

white smile,
single file,
cat walk,
flaunt the style.

dressing room,
don't assume,
imperfections,
all too soon.

only 2,
down to puke.
perfect figure,
could be you.

MY QUOTE, DO NOT STEAL.

 

 It just hurts.

 

My parents think that my feelings of being worthless are just passing.
They don't realize that even if they get me to smile for a second, when I'm alone, my heart hurts.

I just don't think I can do this anymore.

People always joke about things like,
"forever alone, I'm always on the computer, my cat is my only friend."
I'm starting to realize where those jokes came from.
For the past 2 months, I have been at home every single day.
 For the past 2 months, I have struggled with cutting and an eating disorder by myself.
For the past 2 months, No one has talked to me except for internet strangers and my parents.
I'm starting to realize how unimportant I am.
Not a single person has stuck with me through all of the bullshit.
How alone do you feel now?
 

 

 I wonder what it's like to be important.

It's the same old sh/t,
Just a different day.
 

 

 It's so hard to not eat. I want food so badly, and it's so conveniently there. I hate this.

 

-a gorgeous girl walks by-
Me: -stares-
Friend: You were totally checking her out! 
Friend: Are you a lesbian?
Me:
Me: -thinking- No, I'm just inspecting what I'll never have.
 

Someone: Wow you got fat
Me:
Someone:
Me:
Someone:
Me: Wow who stabbed that knife in your face