When you said,
''I want to be with you, forever.'' I
think you misinterpreted the true definition. I had
given you my all, for almost eight months. Through
the good and the bad. I was there. Late night texts,
arguements over pointless things, only being able to
see you twice a month, dealing with how immature you
were, coping with our different perspectives,
accepting you occasionally drink, you being a sports
lover, having your boys nights. I'm not saying,
you had nothing to do with my interests or problems,
I myself, know I have a lot of baggage, for my age, I
have been through far more than I should but,
it's made me the woman I am now. Point is, you
could have dealt with it better. You're
wonderful, beyond words but, your actions were
pathetic. You gave up, when things were rough. I
begged and pleaded for you to see the reality of the
situation, you were just not willing to put forth an
effort and to this day, you still aren't. I want
to let go, I want to move on. Even though you say:
''I feel, right now, is not our
time.'', I know that means, we're
over..for good. They say: Each day gets easier.
I'm waiting for that day to start. For me, each
and every day is so difficult, knowing we
are..''just friends'', I miss you..I
miss us..everything we had..being able to tell you
anything..staying up late..talking to you..giving you
affection, love, devotion, being able to sit with you
and look into your eyes, instantly feeling the
connection and passion between us, holding you,
laughing with you, ect. I don't think my love for
you will ever die down, it hurts so much..knowing
now, you don't feel anything. I pray to god one
day, you will realize how much I'm hurt. I feel
empty, I cry continuously, I'm broken. I've
always told myself: ''You're strong, you
can handle anything.'' I want to know, what
happened..I clearly am not strong, nor can I handle
anything. My daily song: Can't stop loving you. -
Van Halen. The relevance of the song..it brings me to
tears. Nothing I can say or do, will be able to
change your mind, worst thing about it is, you're
never going to know how I truly feel. What's
worse than that..is that you will never read
this...
nsnlover