TheBrokenOnes

• click to see this quote •

Remember my 11/30/10 relationship? Because I sure do. A few months is when I lost him. 9/25/11 he broke up with me. I lost the love of my life. The guy I've dated for 8 months and had a tiny break in between. He left me for my exbestfriend. And after I found that out a lot of things went down. I kept getting into fights with him and not only did it end our relationship but it also ended our friendship. I dated two guys during the months hoping to get over him. I couldn't help but cry and miss the things we did. Yeah it was hard it felt like I'd never get him back. I tried to move on and I got into drinking. It made me feel happy and forget about all of those horrible things that happened. The first guy I dated broke up with me do to distance. But I didn't really feel hurt. I thought I liked him but I didnt. So a month after that I dated another guy for two months. And I didn't really even have any feelings for him either. It was Febuary 5 months after losing him. I still wasn't over him and my feelings for him stayed the same. I ended up breaking up with the guy because I didn't really feel anything for him either. I thought I liked 3 guys after that but it was just a simple little phase. Since than I went through a lot of stuff and went into depression. I couldn't stand it I felt like I was just losing everything and everybody around me. So I don't know why but I just sent him this long message on FB which was on Febuary 24th. I explained so much in that message but I thought he was just goning to reply with something mean or still hate me. But he actually replied back and was being nice to me. Since that day on we started talking again a lot. He knows that I still have feelings for him and he's ok with it. I told him that I thought it was time to try and get rid of those feelings I still have for him. But it doesn't seem he wants that. He smokes cigs and gets high. Am I happy with that? No. But I got over it. I was so happy to finally have him back in my life and become friends again. And we talked about a lot of things and it was settled. We became smoking buddies and would hook up. He came over Friday night. We both got high and just did things together. Honestly it was one of the best Friday nights I've ever had. That boy still makes me happy even after everything that happened. But we both moved on from what happened months ago and now we are here. Today he walked from school to my house. We hung out in there and just pretty much made out. Not saying what else we did but that's all we seemed to do. I missed being with him so much. I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. He even made a heart with his hands to me. I felt really amazingly happy just seeing that. No we aren't dating but it sure feels like it. Do I want to date again? You don't know how badly I want that. But for now him just being in my life like this is enough for me. There are times where he flirts with me and I'm always flirting with him. But I'm just not really sure if he still has any feelings for me. I hope he does because that would just mean a lot to me. I want to say "I love you." to him so badly. But I know I can't. It just kills me inside knowing he's not mine and probably wont ever be again. But he's mine in friendship again. And that's enough to make me the happy little girl I was when we were dating. And since we started talking again I've felt like I'm changing. But I'm really glad I am because I know I can get along better with him now.

I'll always love you Matt and because of what you're doing it. It just makes it harder for me not to love you. 11/30/10 was one of the best days in my life. And it sure as hell wont be a date that I forget about. You still mean everything to me and I just want you to see that.

I kept all the stuffed animals he ever won me
because that's all I've got left of him that I hold close to me.
I was stupid and got rid of everything else thinking
it would delete him. But you can never delete true love
even if the other person doesn't feel the same back anymore
It doesn't hurt to have hope to have faith and to
believe either. That's all I can do right now
and that's all I plan to do right now. After all
they always said to fallow your heart right?
So that's what I'm doing baby steps at a time.
</3 P.S. ILoveYou<3

No matter what guy I think is cute or end up dating
you'll always be the only guy that forever and always is stuck with my heart.
As much as I want it back I really don't I want you to keep it forever
and never give it back I still love you Matt. My feelings for you never ever have changed
even though you hurt me badly twice and made me cry so much I'm completely
and utterly in love with you. Even though you don't love me or miss me or even probably
don't want me back I still do. You're my first love and i can't ever get any feelings for any other guy
and I don't think I ever will. Matt you may not know it but I truly do miss everything we had
and I wish we could go back to it all I know my mistakes and I know all the other
problems. I'm sorry for ever making them and for all those times when we had problems
and just ignoring them instead of working them out. I don't think I've really ever been happy since you left me and it still hurts knowing that I could maybe never be yours again. I wish you would talk to me again
and I wish that my number was unblocked too..I have hope I don't know how
but I have hope that maybe we'll end up getting back together. Maybe not now but hopefully in a few months something will happen and you'll be missing me again and having your feelings for me
come back and wanting to be with me.
I'll always and forever love you Matt please don't ever forget that I'm always here for you</3

• click to see this quote •

• click to see this quote •

a guy who is willing to walk around holding his girlfriends pads/tampons is a guy worth keeping for the rest of our lives<3

11/30/10.
That's the date that started our relationship and
we are keeping that date<33 Screw
that new date that I put up on here yesterday(:
I love my butt face just as much as he loves
his boo<33
I know it may seem confusing that on the 30th of this month
it'll be our 9 months and then 10 months
and then our one year but that's only because he broke my heart
just before our 9 months. But everything's
alright because either way it's still gonna end up as a one year(:
M.J.R. the love of my life and my best friend<33