Joined: October 9, 2014
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Quotes by TheCovertComic

In 1097 the pope outlawed crossbows.  Today, a mere nine centuries later, crossbow violence has been reduced by over 40%.
Never mistake kindness for weakness.  Kindness has been known to kill people for doing that.
I filled out a survey at work.  The first question was: 'Functional manager? _________________'

I wrote 'Rarely if ever.'

If an issue is a cause célèbre, but mostly for people who use the term 'cause célèbre,' you can safely ignore it.
We say 'I don't know whether I'm coming or going,' as if it were somehow possible to do only one at a time. 
You can only wish someone Happy Pi Day once a year.  But if you get up early enough, you can wish them Happy Pi Moment twice every 24 hours!
'Do or do not?' 

... Don't we do or do not already, pretty much all the time?
You say 'chaos theory' like there's some other kind.
If only we were half as hungry for brains as zombies are.
Signs Your Standards May Be Too High

1. They have difficulty focusing on common tasks. 

2. Their speech is slurred. 

3. They experience increased appetite.