TheWriterGirl

Justme?
or is there an awkward moment everytime Dora asks a question?

Chapter 3, Lonley

Oh no. I'm so stupid! How could I have let her see it!? I wonder whats going to happen.. Probably end up being a bad night, where my mom just drinks and drinks, and drinks. But who really knows? I'll just have to wait till tonight. 
Since Mom had dropped the letter after I just stared at her while she read, I picked it up, went to the shredder, and shoved the piece of paper in. Then I took the envelope with the adress, and was determined. 'I am going to figure out what's with my dad, whether it kills me or not' I think. I'll leave when everybody is sleeping. Granny and Pops out of the way, mom, drunk as a skunk. 
Pops see's me.
" Whatcha' doing sweetie?"
"Not much, just thinking. You?" I say in a nervous voice.
" Coming to get something to eat, you want pizza?" He says.
" Sure" I say innocently.
" Granny told me... About the letter.. I think you should talk to your mo-"
I cut him off.
"I don't want to talk about it. She's dead drunk anyways. She'll just push me away like she always does. She doesn't care. If she did, She wouldn't be drunk all day." 
" She can't help it! She's been parylized with grief since you father left! I can't even believe you woul-"
"NO! IF SHE LOVED ME OR BEN SHE WOULD HAVE GOT OFF HER BUTT, AND DID SOMETHING WITH HER LIFE!" I say accusingly.
I guess her alchol didn't sink in yet. She must have heard us yelling, and came down stairs.
"So you think I don't love you do you?" She says in a hollow voice.
"Mo-mom, I didn-didn't know you we-were there.."
"I'm glad to know you think I hate you. It shows how ungreat full you are"
How ungreatfull I am? Excuse me for standing up for myself, but I think she's the one who's ungreatfull. She has children you know.
"I don't want to see your face right now. Go. Now. Leave if you I don't love you" My mom says holding in tears.

So I left.

Chapter 4, Lonley

I run out of the room, not knowing how to react to anything. Granny has never been this mad before. Maybe I should show Pops? Granny might not want him to see. Is there some kind of secret they are all hiding from me? Is he not my biological dad? Has he been spending his life in jail? Does it really anger everybody to think that my own dad doesn't even know that his 1st son, Ben, is dead.
I don't know what to do, so I go to sit on Ben's bed. My pain of missing him throbs in my heart. I re-picture how I saw him. 
He was laying on the ground when I got there. It was obvious where he got hit, it was a large Jeep, and Ben, he wasn't very tall. The Jeep smashed in his shoulder, then shoving his helpless body to bleed out on the ground. That wasn't the worst part. He hit his head on the ground, cracking his skull. Leaving him to bleed to death. I showed up about 10 minutes later, I saw the yellow blanket the cops layed over his body. Dead already. I ran to him. All I could think was how we had fought over the bathroom this morning, and the last thing I told him was that I hated him.
Then this is when my world comes back to focus and I see mom, she took the balled up letter that I threw on the ground when I started to lay on Ben's bed, and she was reading it. She was pale and looked as if she was about to puke. I remember that skin tone. The very same of Ben's. Expecially when he died.

Chapter 3, Lonley

"My dear children,
First off the money is for your missed birthdays, 90$ for each of you. Ben happy 14th birthday, Anya happy 16th birthday.  First off, I would like to know how you to have been doing without me. I'm sorry I left. Casey, your new step-mom, has 2 kids with me. A 3 year-old names Alyssa and a 8 year-old named Brian. They don't know about you, but Casey does. I want to see you kids.  How's you mom? How's Granny and Pops? What about Lucky? Is that old dog still alive? You probably don't want to know much more from me, but you can call me, my phone number is 123-456-7890. We can set up a date or something. Text or call. We also live on 198 Meadow lane, PA. Send me a letter back if you want. I just want to hear from the kids I love.
From Daddy."
That was one of the most pathetic letters I ever read. He doesn't care about us. He doesn't know Ben is dead. D-E-A-D dead. And for his information, we are all fine without him. And Lucky, she's 10. UGH. I hate that monster. I don't want to contact him. I crumple up the letter but keep the money. 180$ could come in handy you know.
I decide to show Granny and Pops, they will know what to do.
I run across the hall to find my grandma vacuuming, and I hand her the letter. She just reads it and gawks. She can't believe it either.
" He had and has no right! He is a horrible man and I don't want you talking to him. It will also tear up your mom. Throw this out now. We don't need him." says Granny furiously.
" Uh, okay.." I reply squeamishly. I have never seen Granny this mad. 

Chapter 2, Lonley

When I wake up, Pops is standing in my door-way, with a sad expression written across his face. All he does is walk in my room, hand me a glass of water and a pill I recognize to be Advil, and the letter. As he walks out of my room I immediately shove the nail-sized pill in my mouth, and wash it down with the glass of cool water. I slowly set down the water and close my eyes. I picture my dad, the last time I saw him. Those ever-green eyes, the short curly black hair, the slight build, and those shoes. The shoes I danced on for years. Standing on his feet, holding on to his hands, as he slowly stepped in circles. 
I quickly open my eyes and shake the memories from my head. He's not my dad. He betrayed my mom and left me and Ben without a good-bye.
I crumple up the letter,  I don't want to read his words. I don't need him. He doesn't even know Ben's dead. He's not a dad at all. He's a monster,  leaving his children and wife for his secret girlfriend, and her growing belly , because I'm guessing they had kids.
I close my eyes shutting out the horror. Thank gosh it's only Saturday. I don't know If I would be able to face going back to school tomorrow. I think I'm going to take a nap. Me, Anya Horshi. As I squeeze my eyes closed, I start to realize, I can't block this out forever, I have wanted to hear from my dad for 9 years. When my letter finally comes, I don't read it? Maybe it wont hurt anything if I read it. Then I can just forget about the monster's words and move on. I slowly sit up in bed, open my eyes and stand up. I'm not dizzy anymore, so I bend over and pick up the crumpled envelope.  I sit back down on my bed, and slowly smooth out the envelope with my thigh. I take my thumb and gingerly slide it under the seal and open it.
As I pull out the letter, money falls out. I scooch away from it. I don't want to know what it's for just yet. I unfold the letter and see the carfully written words of what I had assumed were my fathers, but who knows, I could be wrong.

Chapter 1, Lonley

It's such a quiet world I live in.
My dad left us when I was 7. He had other children with a prettier lady. My mom is an acholic now. She's always drunk. I can't remember the last time I saw her when she wasn't drunk. We live with my grandma and grandpa, (Granny and Pops),  and my little brother, Ben,  died 2 years ago when he got hit by a car walking to school.
I'm 16 now.  I'ts been 9 years since I have seen my dad, but my whole world came crashing down when I got the letter.
I was just sitting in Ben's room, holding his sweatshirt as I always do when Granny and Pops aren't home, when I heard our dog, Lucky, barking. I looked at the clock, 2:30. The mail just arrived.
As I sauntered down my stairs, I saw my mom with the mail, just starting to cry.
" Mom? What's wrong..?" I asked her.
" Nothing. I'm uhh, I'm going to bed. Feed yourself." She said trying as hard as she could to keep a straight face. Drunk again. As always.
I started looking through the mail, maybe something was in here that upset her? Who knows.  Could just be taxes. As I shuffled through the mail, I saw our names. The letter said, " To my children, Anya and Ben. From Dad." I dropped the letter on the table. I was shocked. I suddenly felt dizzy. My world spinning. I just barely made it to my couch before I colapsed. My breathing was fast, and I was choking. I was wishing Ben was here. Then I blacked out.