Thebluenotebook
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Joined: April 26, 2017
Last Seen: 5 years
user id: 399336
Joined: April 26, 2017
Last Seen: 5 years
user id: 399336
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Here lie my inner thoughts.
I thought someone should know.
Quotes by Thebluenotebook
I've always loved christmas lights with their soft, simple glow and
the way they made me feel when I was back in our car in a puffy
oversized coat squished between sleeping kids and all our new toys
with my face close to the window where I can feel the cold just on
the other side looking out at the streets all the warm houses each
with their own christmas story but here I am in our car christmas
songs playing softly in the background our parents talking quietly
about the party but the parties are all over now and soon the
decorations will be gone but next year you will take down your
dusty boxes open the lids se thise christmas lights and all those
car ride memories will come flooding back as that sense of confort
and safety washes over you you will have answered your own question
-why do you hang Christmas lights in your room?
Before you, I was terrified of being in
love.
I had seen it fall apart too many time and I wanted nothing to do with that. I had seen it make my sister go crazy and get hurt and cry in the corner of our bedroom. I had seem it make my friends forget how to love themselves. I saw how hard it hit and how fast and at the same time, how beatiful it made someones life look. And I had even thought I found it once. But I was wrong and I broke someone the same way I watched it break everyone else.
And for that I'm not sure I ever forgave myself.
And so I swore that if it showed up again, I would just say no.
But that was the thing about you.
When I met you, thats not what it was like. You didnt offer me crazy love right away. You just sat with me and listened to me until 4a.m. You told me funny stories and tried to make me laugh. you were always there And then it came slowly. Like a sunrise creping out and softly shining its light until the whole shy becoems a bit brighter. Bit by bit everything catches the light and the whole sky lights up. And if you stand in the middle of thhis light you feel warm and safe and you're not worried about what will happen when the light goes away. You just know that standing in the sun, is exactly where you're supposed to be.
And thats what loving you was like.
I had seen it fall apart too many time and I wanted nothing to do with that. I had seen it make my sister go crazy and get hurt and cry in the corner of our bedroom. I had seem it make my friends forget how to love themselves. I saw how hard it hit and how fast and at the same time, how beatiful it made someones life look. And I had even thought I found it once. But I was wrong and I broke someone the same way I watched it break everyone else.
And for that I'm not sure I ever forgave myself.
And so I swore that if it showed up again, I would just say no.
But that was the thing about you.
When I met you, thats not what it was like. You didnt offer me crazy love right away. You just sat with me and listened to me until 4a.m. You told me funny stories and tried to make me laugh. you were always there And then it came slowly. Like a sunrise creping out and softly shining its light until the whole shy becoems a bit brighter. Bit by bit everything catches the light and the whole sky lights up. And if you stand in the middle of thhis light you feel warm and safe and you're not worried about what will happen when the light goes away. You just know that standing in the sun, is exactly where you're supposed to be.
And thats what loving you was like.
-excerpt from a book I'll never write// thats why I call you my sunshine //
It was in the summer
of yes
that I learned to live.
that I learned to live.