TomDelonge

one direction: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
my chemical romance: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA FROM MALL SECURITY
rihanna: OH NA NA WHAT'S MY NAME OH NA NA WHAT'S MY NAME
gwen stefani: IF I WAS A RICH GIRL NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
paul mccartney: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA HEY JUDE
blink-182: TURN THE LIGHTS OFF CARRY ME HOME NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
pink: NA NA NA NA NA I WANNA START A FIGHT
batman: NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA ME
sodium: Na

black and blue

                                                                                        (chapter twelve)         
"Ouch," I flinched when Seth pressed ice to my eye that was swollen shut.
"Haden," his voice was serious, almost angry. "Who did this."
 "I...fell," I winced at my lame excuse. To look like this, I'd had to of fallen out of a window.
He shook his head, sighing, and pressed the ice to my ice a little more. 
"You don't trust me?" he said with a crooked smile.
"I don't trust anyone," I muttered under my breath. He heard. His jaw tightened but his eyes were soft.
"You can trust me," he said.
I didn't believe him. I still smiled back when he smiled at me, all dimples.
 * * *
We were sitting on the couch in his living room when he brought it up again.
"Does he..." his voice was gentle, hesitant, "Does he hurt you?"
I was sleepy just moments ago, but now I was wide awake. My senses were all alert, and I could feel my blood pumping and my heart racing. My chest heaved up and down once. Twice.
"What?" I could only ask.
"Your boyfriend. It was him, wasn't it?"
"That's...crazy! Of course not," I breathed. "It wasn't—I told you, I fell," I finished lamely.
 I could feel his eyes on me. I was tense all over.
His hand was touching my cheek, his fingertips trailing along my jaw. "You don't have to stay with him," he said in a low voice. "I know you think you can't get out, but you can."
"Stop," I said.
"It's okay to leave him. You don't need him."
"Stop that," I half shouted. I wrapped my arms around myself, standing up. Seth had a dark look to him, his eyes cast downwards, his jaw clenched tight. I could see the muscle in his jaw ticking.
"Haden, why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I'm not doing anything," I said in a low voice. "You don't know sh­it."
His hands cupped my face, tilted it upwards as he stared down at me with a troubled expression on his face. "Why would you want this for yourself?" he asked me. "Why would you stay if you could get out?"
And then it hit me. 
He'd been hurt before. He'd been abused before. That's why he was getting so emotional. That's why he caught on so quickly.
"Did someone hit you before?" I breathed.
His face tightened. 
"No," he lied through his teeth.
"Don't lie."
"You're lying to me," he said, narrowing his eyes. "Why can't I?"
"Who?" I demanded.
"My step dad," he finally admitted. "When I was a kid."
"I'm sorry," I whispered. He shook his head. 
"Can I—" he took a deep breath, leaning down so our faces were eye level. "Haden, I'm going to kiss you."
My eyes were wide.
"I'm..." he trailed off. His eyes were solely focused on my lips. You have a boyfriend, a voice in my head said. 
I didn't care.
Nothing mattered. I couldn't think of anything but how his skin felt on my skin, how gentle he was, how he had been abused too.
So when he whispered, "I'm going to kiss you," again, I didn't protest.
I only felt my eyes closing.

comment for a reminder! :)
 

black and blue

                                                                                        (chapter eight) 
"Where have you been?" a voice whispered in my ear when I shut my locker.
My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as I spun around to see Dean, a soft half smile on his face and his hair falling into his forehead. My eyes widened and I nearly stumbled backwards into the wall of lockers out of fright.
"Leave me alone," I stuttered, my heart racing and my palms starting to sweat.
"What?" he asked as if I was being ridiculous.
My jaw clenched. "You put me in the hospital," I hissed. Not that he hadn't before, but this time I'd lost more than my dignity, and my self esteem. I'd had to lose Seth too.
He sighed softly, brushing the hair away from my face and I resisted the urge to recoil away from his touch.
"I'm sorry about that," he said like it was just something he could make go away by saying sorry. "It was a mistake to do that."
"A mistake, Dean," I growled, "Is when you left my favorite shoes out in the rain and they got ruined. This? This wasn't an accident."
I whimpered in fear when he shoved me up against the locker, his knee pressing into my thigh, hard.
"Listen here," he said in a low voice that was scarier than if he'd been yelling. "Don't think I won't hurt you just because I'm trying to make things right between us," he made sure his elbow was digging into my windpipe and I tried to cough but nothing came out.
"I will still hurt you."
I will still hurt you. The words echoed in my head over and over. I can never escape this.
I felt myself panicing inside, my breaths coming out in shorter, faster pants. Dean's eyes softened slightly and got a concerned look in them and I was disgusted by it.
I started to hyperventilate and his eyes widened.
"Haden..." he trailed off nervously. "Stop. Hey," he snapped his fingers a few times, his voice nervous but also gruff. "Stop that."
I tried to slow my breathing. My ribs ached. My arms hurt. Everywhere hurt, throbbing with pain and only because he was near me. 
I will still hurt you.
I gasped outloud, his voice so real inside my head, deadly and low and sending shivers down my spine.
"Haden," Dean whispered roughly. He grabbed my face so roughly that I winced, "We're not over. We're not over until I say we are." He shook me like I was a rag doll. "Do you understand that? Do you?" 
"Yes," I could only cough out before he let me drop, my head banging against the floor.
"Good," he smiled, pleased. He brushed off his jeans like he hadn't just assaulted me. "Love you, baby. I'll pick you up after school."
I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
Idiot. You're a weakling. Look what you've just done to yourself. Do you like this pain? Do you like this suffering? Is that why you let him treat you like absolute dirt?
My shoulders started shaking with pent up sobs. Soon my whole body was shuddering.
Only one voice was in my mind—deadly, low, no arguement at all— It's not over until I say it is.

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT D: it will never happen again, I promise.  
Comment for a reminder when the next chapter is up! (: 

"Hug me," he said.
So I wrapped my arms around his neck.
When I began to pull away, when I felt his arms around me tighten.
"No, stay, stay, stay," he said softly.
I smiled and I stayed.
Right there, in his arms.
 

Ahh, If only right? :)