TouchMyCookiesAndYouDie

Shane Dawson talking answering question about Valentine's Day.

Question: what is your Valentine's day trea?
Shane: if I had to pick one candy I would probably pick a reeses peanut butter cup.
Shane: now listen, if I'm saying a reeses peanut butter cup, I'm saying a peanut butter cup.
Shane: I'm not saying a reeses peanut butter weird f/cking creepy shape.
Shane: I don't know why companies think it's a good idea to like "oh, it's Halloween! Let's shape everything like pumpkins!"
Shane: "oh, it's Christmas! Let's shape everything like trees!"
Shane: "oh, it's Saint Patrick Day! Let's shape everything like my alcoholic father!"

me: *waiting outside with my teacher for my brother*
brother: *drives by with his music blasting*
teacher: your bother likes his beats.
me: oh, well, he's a DJ.
teacher: oh, that's cool.
me: well, bye. *walks over to my brother's car*
me: *opens car door*
radio: LET'S F*CKING DO THIS!
me: AKSDHLKJAHS *jumps into car and slams the door shut*
brother: hehehe.

I hate my brother.

me: *standing outside in the rain awaiting my brother at school*
teacher (Ms.O'Brian): *drives up to me* come inside my car! Don't wait in the rain!
me: thank you *goes in car*
me: *talks to teacher*
the radio: *playing Scream and Shout by Will I. am. and Britney Spears*
the radio: It's britney, BETCH.
me: *smiles and refrains from laughing*
teacher: *turns radio down*
me: *talks to teach some more*
the radio: It's britney, BETCH.
teacher: *turns radio down again*
me: *snickers*

And that's how waiting in the car with my teacher went.

Spongebob: don't you have any good pranks?
Frank: well, there is this one I've been saving for the top-of-the-line prankster...
Frank: invisible spray!
Patrick: but I can see it.

Me: *in school*
Me: *sees best friend's sister*
Me: HEY JIJI!
Jiji: I don't know you! *starts to run*
Me: pshht, you know me!
Me: hey, I want to give you that lotion for your rash!
Me: *starts chasin her* I'VE GOT THE LOTION FOR YOUR RASH!
Me: YOUR RASH!
Me: YOUR RASH!
Me: YOU HAVE A RASH!
People in the hall: O.o

That's So Raven
Finn The Juicer: Hello, boys. I got your little flyer in school today. Good news! I'm your new lead singer.
Cory: We were kind of hoping for a girl...
Finn The Juicer: So were my parents. They got over it.