TryingToHideDepression

Realpsed on cutting. I've missed it so much. I just, don't see a point in not doing it anymore. No one cares. At all. I know they don't. I'm ugly. fat. Worthless. Just a waste of space.

I miss laying on the side of Mac Park hill with him cuddling,
I miss him mimmicking me.
I miss him yelling at his video games while we were talking on the phone.
I miss his nephew always trying to beat him up, cause he had a crush on me.
I miss his dad always saying he couldn't wait to meet me.
I miss him making fun of me, then saying that he loves me right after.
I miss him playing with my hair.
I miss holding hands with him,
I miss his amazing blue eyes.
I miss him coming up behind me and syaing 'hey cutie'
I miss kissing him.
I miss him standing up for me.
I miss seeing his face light up whenever he saw me.
I miss having dumb arguements with him.
I miss everything about him. I want him. I want all of him. His flaws. His perfections. But, that won't happen. Because I never was, and I neever will be good enough.

Just fake another smile,

Don't let them know you're dying on the inside, darling.

That moment when you feel absolutely nothing. And all you can think is "Cut. Cut. Cut.Cut" And all you wanna do is open your skin with a razor blade.

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