UnfogettableMe

So today, I finally got around to putting up pictures of Audri. She'll be two months old tomorrow.
Hannah and David are awesome. I love them both so much.
Ugh. I guess I should give you more of an update on me.
Hannah and Audri are perfect and healthy.
David was discharged from the army due to an injury; he was shot in the leg. He doesn't like to talk about it much. Actually, he's really traumatized. He doesn't talk much at all anymore. Only to me, Hannah, and Audri.
Dad and I have become close, like, really close, despite his autism. I don't know why I was sheltered from him my whole life. He's become one of my best friends.
Austin? Hm. Austin got a girlfriend, they've been dating for eight months now? Around eight months. Her name's Amanda. To be honest, I hated her at first because I thought he could do better. I really like her now though. He's happy, so that's all that matters.
My mom and stepdad are in rehab for drug abuse. Can't say I didn't see that one coming. David and Hannah got a legal thing done where she isn't allowed to see the baby, so she hasn't seen Audri, and she won't be able to until she's 13.
I wouldn't say I've gotten over Zach's death, but the thought of him has become easier for me. Now, when I think of him, it's pleasant, not painful. He's not suffering anymore. And I have to move on.
And me? Not much about me. I got a cat named Abernanthy to keep me company when I'm sad. He's yellow and he he's so freaking lazy but he kind of fills a gap. I love him. I actually have a boyfriend now. His name's Shawn. He's super sweet and really shy. And he really likes me.
Oh, another thing about Austin. On the inside of his bicep, he got my son's initials tattooed in black. In honor of him. (He's 16, so it's legal where I live.)
I'll really try to keep you guys updated on Audri and Shawn and Austin with pictures and everything. It's just hard. I've been super busy with recently becoming super depressed and super anorexic. I've lost 18 pounds in six weeks. I can tell Austin's worried, but I don't care.
To be honest, I'm still contemplating suicide. I know I should get help, but I don't want it. And now, I don't want to die to be with Zach or my son, but I just want to die. I don't want to be here. Nothing's right. Mom hates me, Austin's wrapped up in Amanda, David doesn't speak, and I'm forced to watch my brother live life with a baby when I know that if Austin were still alive, that would be me. I would be the one with the baby. I know I would be an amazing mom. But I guess he belonged to God. So I trust it.
My main picture is of Audri. I think she's gorgeous. I hope you all do too :)
I love you guys.

So I would just like to take the time to welcome my little Audrianna Miracle into the world. She was a little premature, but she is so amazingly beautiful and strong. And pictures will be up when I have time.
I can't wait to show her to you guys. She's perfect.
 

August 6, 2012. Love you, Audri.

So today, I felt like it was time to update my girls.
I don't know if I ever told you, but a couple months ago, David proposed to Hannah. Today, they finally finished all the planning for their wedding. They rushed and worked 24/7 on the arrangements.
They are getting married on a beach in Maine on August 26, 2012.
Yes, that is the due date of their daughter.
I honestly don't know what possessed them to do that. But hopefully their baby doesn't come any earlier.
I'm sorry I haven't been on witty as much. My life is finally starting to make sense again. No promises on when I'll return. I don't know.
But I'll always love my witty girls. 

Small Bump by Ed Sheeran.
There's so much that I could say about that amazing song.
It describes every emotion I have.
It's currently on replay on my iPod.
I can't stop crying.
Thank you, Ed. Just, thank you.

How many of you watched the 16 and Pregnant last Tuesday?
With Kristina?
I just wanted to say, I bawled the entire time.
I know how she feels.
Watching that episode brought back old memories.
Things I tried to forget, but couldn't.
And for those of you who watched it, you can see how I feel.
That's how I feel.

So, as an update on baby names, Hannah has narrowed it down to 9 names;
Kara
Yesenia (Sena, Senia, Yessie, or Seni for short)
Suzanne (Suzy for short)
Nora
India
Kacey
Gillian (pronounced Jillian)
Audriana
Lourdes (Lourie or Loura for short)
If you guys could help us choose from these, we would love it. Thank so much :) We've looked at every one of your suggestions, and we noticed that Skylar was the most popular option. Sorry to disappoint, but Hannah felt like that name was overused. We've combined your suggestions with baby-name books and have come up with this list. If you suggested one of these names, thank you for helping me, and if you didn't, it doesn't mean we didn't consider it. All of the names were beautiful.
Thanks again!
-David, Hannah, and Nicole

So I thought you guys might want to know,
Hannah found out she's having a girl.
Her due date is August 26.
She has absolutely no clue what her name is going to be.
She want suggestions from you guys :)
Anything would be appreciated. Thank you.
-Nicole

I never really realized how loved and appreciated I was on witty.
I never understood how accepted I was or how girls looked up to me.
It wasn't until I left, and then came back after a month that I realized you guys actually missed me.
But I'm nothing of a role model.
I'm a stupid girl who did something she shouldn't have done.
A pregnant, depressed, bipolar, suicidal girl isn't exactly the ideal role model.
But a lot of you see that. And you still love me.
And I wanted to dedicate this quote to all of my witty girls.
You honestly, HONESTLY, don't understand just how much you mean to me.
I love every single one of you so much.
You're all so amazing and incredibly gorgeous people.
Thanks, to all of you, because I know for a fact I would not be here without you.

This quote is for the girls out there;;
Who have a broken heart.
Who are in love.
Who have lost a friend.
Who need help.
Who are lost.
Who don't want to be here.
Who have lost a parent.
Who don't have anything left.
Who get bullied.
Who feel like there's no such thing as a "Happy Ending."
I've been all of those girls. But trust me, it does get better.
Never lose hope xx

Witty has changed so much.
I've been off for about a month. When I left, witty was a safe haven for girls who needed it.
Now, it's so much worse.
I don't mind the Directioner quotes or the Hunger Games quotes.
I mind the stupid b.tches thinking they can comment on someone's quote calling them ugly or stupid or annoying without having a prior conversation.
What's wrong with you?
Like really? How about we grow up, get a life, gain a little self-confidence, and SHUT THE F.CK UP because I'm pretty sure just about everybody else is done with it. 
Sorry for my rant, guys. It just had to be said xx