Friend: I never see you in the
hallways.
Me: I know. Me neither.
*Me thinking*
I see you every single time you walk down the hallway and watch
you talk to your friends and laugh. You just don't know that
I am there.
Girl 1: Fine, I'll talk with you. But if you say anything
smug or stuck up or shallow, I'll have my cat follow you
home.
Girl 2: But then I can't talk!
Brother: You have 5 titanium brothers on segways.
Me: I have machine guns, on my butt!!
Brother: You are a jar.
Me: With rabies.
Brother: Poptarts!!
Me: The snack that smiles back, Goldfish!!!