~I'm existant in this life, but am i living it? ~Been heartbroken before by relationships, family, friends, and myself. ~I am my own enemy. (December 7, 2017) ~Everything on my page is original unless said otherwise 💕 ~~This page is starting to become a diary...
~~This page has slowly started becoming a "safe-keeping" page for me as the things i post delete where they originally came from.
Hey, this is just a bit about me:
1. Gender: Female.
2. Age: 18
3. Fave Color: Green, any light shade or a neon.
4. First impressions don't really matter to me, but Second impressions do, the most. 5. My trust issues are somewhat through the roof, If we're being honest here.
Out with the old, In with the new
Pfp not mine
I've had an account before this one..back in 2012 (December 21, 2012) and the whole reason i posted was so i could edit my stardoll presentation 😂 but ya know, check who I am following to see my old account.. LuffinAnimeslikechuluffme CRINGE WARNING it's soooo bad eeeeek
Quotes by Whysitgottabeme
Writing this on 4/14/20 late af lol
wasn't easy getting to where i am now, i will admit. I'm
definitely happier than i have been in years.
currently 1 year, 6 months and 25+ days clean. My biggest
accomplishment. ❥‿⋰⁀🎔 A quote
i've been going by for a while now is, "Remember and
appreciate the small, good things in life. You'll smile
more." ❥‿⋰⁀🎔 Something I
think I really want to say is, "K, I miss you. It'll be
our 2 years anniversary on the 30th of this month, April.
It's been a year, 3 months, and 23+ days since we lost
connection. Please. Come back. I doubt you'll ever see this,
but i just need to know you're okay. I miss you. More than
anything and anybody. I told you you're irreplaceable. Hell,
I wont even use your heart on anybody else. I miss you. I love
you. Always and literally forever. I promised, and this is a
promise i can't break because I emotionally will never get
over you. You've been my best friend forever. I miss you.
Come back. Please. Come back for me... ❥‿⋰⁀🎔 I
wanted to thank everyone especially. This is my therapy when I
couldnt talk to anyone. This was my diary, even though its all
online and for the world to see. I'll still come by time to
I'm almost done with high-school and things are just weird,
but we're getting to our goals. ❥‿⋰⁀🎔 In, other
proud of myself. 🎔⁀⋱‿WIGBM‿⋰⁀🎔
~its been quite a while since i've
posted here. I feel ashamed to say i've been recently falling
back in my old tracks and self. I've been a year and...7 months
clean..I'm proud..and my confidence is much well now. I know my
worth, finally. However...I have no control
TBN 12/10/18 sneak peak/rough
Sometimes it feels like you can read my mind.
I wanted to be with you, and just kiss you,
and you said “be mine right now”.
Sometimes it feels like you can read my mind.
I wasn’t feeling to great,
but I had this behavior for you to not know,
but I still wanted to tell you,
and you reassured me and told me we can talk, if needed.
Sometimes it feels like you can read my mind.
Sometimes if feels like you can read me.
You knew everything before I could even think it.
okay where do i start... uhh i love you so much (my full
name) you are my everything my whole world. I know
we've had our ups and downs kinda like were on a roller
coaster but im so set to keep riding it with you because i
want u to be in my future and yea ik you probably reading
that is scaring you and trust me it scares me too because
the thought of ever losing you would mean im losing my
everything. Yea this is cheesy as hell but im a pretty
cheesy guy🧀 I almost lost you once and that was probably
the worst decision in my entire life because i actually
thought i lost you forever and that you would never give me
a second chance. I know i've made you feel horrible and
feel like your not worth anything and it kills me every
time i think about it because hurting you or making you
feel horrible about yourself is the last thing i would ever
wanna do. You make my heart skip a beat whenever im talking
to you even if im mad i cant stay mad at you forever.
Reading the stuff you write makes me realize how much
I've put you through for example your poem i felt the
pain and the way you felt in that moment and i probably
didn't even realize it at the time in August but i
realize it now. I should of stopped making you feel those
ways a long time ago but yknow i am a horrible boyfriend so
i guess thats where that comes into play. Anyways enough
sad and dark side of me. I do not know how many times I
have to tell you I love you for you to remember that im
actually your boyfriend or to think I actually do love you.
Because I DO LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
TO MARS AND BACK hehe wow im good. Anyways this whole
paragraph is probably unnecessary but i had to distract
myself and uhh and idk if ive sent you this poem but here
it goes.... Tu sais que tu es amoureux Quand tu ne peux pas
t'endormir Parce que la réalité est enfin
meilleure Que vos rêves Pour nous deux La maison
n'est pas un lieu Mais une personne Et nous sommes
enfin à la maison La distance n'est qu'un
test Pour voir jusqu'où l'amour peut voyager
Distance signifie si peu Quand quelqu'un a tant
à dire Je t'aimerai plus que moi Et plus
qu'hier Je voudrais pouvoir passer toute ma vie Vous
dire combien je vous aime Its french but im sure u can
figure it out through google translate. Also ig this is my
creative side🤷🏻♂️ I love you and our future
Me 6:14 AM 11/12/18
1. I didn't wake up last night 2. you're better
now, yeah?...3. i said i'd be back, didn't i? 4.
Don't pay any mind to the worthless thing or me feeling
horrible about myself, its either insecurities, negative
thoughts, or whatever else but your fault. 5. I'm still
with you, aren't i? I kind of know when's a good
time to leave even though it may hurt the other, but
there's no time with you. I don't need that time. I
know it'll get better at some point, i just gotta wait
it out. 6. YOURE NOT A HORRIBLE BOYFRIEND. I just let my
thoughts get the best of me. 7. I don't mean
to..sometimes forget that you're just another person
i'm talking to. If i'm being honest, i sometimes
surprise myself when i'm talking to you or thinking
about you and think to myself "I wish he'd ask me
out already" THATS WHEN I REMEMBER and feel stupid. I
still think that there could be someone else and you
didn't ask me for that reason. You tell me someone
likes you, and i'm gonna jump and say go for her if you
like her back. if you don't, see where things go.
I'll only do that because i've done so many times
for 2 years for someone else. I'd even ask him
"what do you think of (blank)?" and he'll get
annoyed because even though i mentally knew, it seemed like
i was trying to get rid of him, but i wasn't. It
wasn't even a test. I couldn't believe he was with
me...but we broke up a lot during those 2 years. I was
still his friend, and he was my best friend. When we were
friends, he'd tell me he likes someone or someone likes
him, and i'd try to help him with the girl. Bad habits
stayed with me i guess...i'm sorry. 8. Honestly, i
don't know how many times either because ^^ 9. i love
you too. I can't say to Mars because if we think of the
convo again, i seem to really want to stay on earth, but
i'll go anywhere you want me to go, whether it's
with you or away..10. It seemed familiar, but i love you so
freaking much...i'm home? 11. ITS SO ADORABLE, I LOVE
ITT💚❤❤💚💚❤ 😭 i want things to go our way
so bad for our future to happen
11/9/18 // 11/11/18 12:21am I hope to God youre okay. Im sorry I
couldnt talk to you more than i wish I did. I love you so much and
I wish only the best. You dont deserve to go through this. None of
this. No one deserves to, but you the most to me. I love you so
much, stay strong..Please. 💟 We spoke about this one specific
heart and it’s meaning. My love for you will always be cloaked
from others. No one can touch it, but I. Stay Strong Jay 💟❣️
Good Morning, I love you so so much, you are one of the
sweetest people I know yet❤️ The past 6 months have
been...eventful. I usually mess these kind of things up, so
I dont want to say the wrong thing or be lame, which may
happen..or...yeah. You mean a lot to me and I sometimes
feel like we’re speaking for the first (really second
I guess) time again and thats good because I really loved
those days ngl. Youre a great boyfriend and I still feel
happy or even lucky to be your girlfriend that may not
exist to others..but at least to you 😬 Youre amazing,
sweet, (if im being honest) funny, def attractive, etc. I
love talking to you, the awkwardness...we can maybe fix
that, aaauuuhhhh imma shush for now because I cant find the
actual words I want to say so..HAPPY 6 MONTHS :))
good morning, first off just wanna say sorry for the way
i've been lately because you do not deserve any of it.
You are the most amazing girl in the world and you deserve
everything good in the world. You always know how to make
me smile or laugh when im down and i appreciate that so
much. You make everything way better than it was before
because you are amazing, funny, caring, beautiful, smart
and the sweetest girl ever. Being able to call you mine
just makes me so happy because im so lucky to be with an
amazing girl like you. I love you so much and i hope all of
this made sense cuz im half asleep rn cuz i just woke up.
Just saying we are half way through a year of been with
each other and im just counting down the months. I love you
so much and Happy 6 Months❤️