I turned the song "Back To December" By:Taylor Swift, and I literally felt my heart sink. I hate this feeling. Everyone trys to give me advice, but its just not working. This song makes me think of him because it descibes us. He broke up with me in December, I can't sleep. I didn't call on his birthday when it passed. We went out from the Summer. I relized in the Fall I loved him. When the cold came, we got father apart. "Trues out freedom aint' nothin but missin you. Wishin' I relized what I had when you were mine. & I go back to December all the time." Its the truth. But now you like her, & I wish I just told you how I felt, maybe then you would still be here. "Id go back in change it, but I can't." </3
*****
There are so many beautiful things
in this world, so many beautiful people, so much
love. Even though this life gets a little crooked and cramped
sometimes, its all we've got y'know? Its all we've
got. And there are so many things to love about it. You just
have to learn to see the light. How too make wishes on stars,
how to love the broken things like they weren't so hemmed
and halved, like they weren't so fragile and fleeting.
Because sometimes its those broken things, those those broken,
fog-rimmed feelings that matter the most, y'know?
I used to wake up before dawn every morning
to climb the hill behind my house and watch the sun
rise. Watch that little ball of light unhurl and arch
across the sky, so brave, so sure, stretchstrechstreching its
rosey red fingures towards the sunkissed horizon, sending
little tendrils of light streaking across the sky. Because its
moments like that, that make me love this world. Moments
like that, that leave you so round and full and
swollen with light. And yeah, I know being happy is hard, itd
tempramental, its exhausting. But you have to do things that
scare the hell out of you sometimes. Have to kiss people who
might not kiss you back. Have your hands a little dirty.
Have to build things only to tear them down -- only to
burn them down and start all over. Think
about what it means to feel your knees buckling
beneath the weight of all these beautiful things. Because
it's okay to be lonely. As long as you know that you're
not alone. And let me tell you , from one stranger to another,
you are not alone. I hope one day being happy
doesn't always have to be so hard.
*****
Today would have been 6 months. Im still
counting, even though you like someone else. Baby, im
listening to our song. I, I mean, our old song. The song that
reminds me of our times together. Those great memories we
made together. Woah, I never thought I would see this day.
This day where you & I were so seperated. So distant. So
far away. I wish I was still your "It Girl" cause I
sure as he!! wish you were my "It Boy"
<3