Status: I seriously follow everyone back.
Joined: October 6, 2012
Last Seen: 3 months
user id: 333400
Gender: F

Quotes by Y0UNGL0V3MURD3R

I want so much that is not here and I don't know where to go
and that’s the difference between me and you. i would lay it all on the table and give you whatever you needed even if it meant hurting myself in the process but you only cared about the bare minimum: what made you happy and what didn’t inconvenience you
It’s terrible to see yourself drown into nothingness. You are aware of what's happening but you don’t have enough power left to stop yourself. You don’t have anymore strength left to keep yourself up on your feet. And then you fall. You fall and your heart, locked inside that strong calcium cage, sinks. It sinks into that realm of nothingness. A place where you don’t feel anything. Not love, not hatred, not sorrow, not joy. Absolutely nothing. No one can protect you. No one can get you out of it. All you can do is watch yourself sinking. All you should do is watch yourself sinking, very carefully. You know why? Because nothing falls forever. Yes things do get broken in a hard fall, but once they hit the ground the only task they have left to do is either fix themselves up or build something new out of what's left. All you got to do is watch yourself till you hit the ground.
Please make up your mind. Do you want this to work or not? I’m in this for the long haul but right now with the way you’re playing with my emotions I just don’t know if you want me or if you don’t. All I’m asking is for you to figure it all out.
i’m either looking too far into the future or living too heavily in the past
I can’t trust my own decisions
i am too easily persuaded that i am not of worth
Something that hurts to know is that I’m no one’s first priority. Maybe the third, maybe the last. But never the first.
I want you to know that it is not always easy to love me. In fact, it’s probably never easy to love me. Not even for a second. I’m hard to love, 'cause sometimes my heart fills with so much emptiness that it’s hard to breath. And sometimes my mind wanders out to the extreme and brings back emotions I thought would be gone. My point is I’m not easy to love, and if you can’t love me when I don’t talk to you for three days because I’m just so depressed that getting out of bed is hard then you are not fit to love me. If you can’t love me when I’m warm & happy at 2 pm then you can’t love me when I’m cold & harsh at 4 am. I need a lover who knows how to love me when I’m sad because the fact is I can’t do this on my own. Even if I say I can, I know deep down I can’t. And I don’t want to do it all alone which is what I’ve been doing for the past 18 years of life I’ve had. So please, if you’re gonna love me when I’m happy and sweet and spilling I love you’s out like it’s your name then you’re gonna have to love me when I’m on my bathroom floor crying, too tired to move, scared of what I’ll do. You’re gonna have to hold me. You’re gonna have to tell me it’s gonna be okay even if you don’t think it is. You’re gonna have to tell me that even in this mist of sadness that I have you. That I’m not alone even though I feel like I am 99% of the time. So please, please, please be careful with my heart. It’s been broken so many times and sure I’ve always put it back together but my kindness is growing weaker with every I love you that is met with a “goodbye, you weren’t enough.” So all I ask is think. Please think for a good 10 minutes of this, if I’m what you want. If you can handle this. If you choose to stay I promise I’ll love you the same each day. I promise I’ll love you when you are down about life and I promise I’ll love you when you are so joyful that it hurts to smile because you’ve been doing it all day. I promise I’ll love you with everything I have which isn’t much but I hope it’s enough. I hope I’m enough. So when you figure everything out let me know. I’ll be waiting.
I need help. My mind is a mess and I feel trapped. I think of the future and I don’t want one. 
I don’t want a future. I don’t believe in a time after, my now is just too contorted. I feel like I am being held at gun point and instead of appeasing the psychopath, I am taunting him, edging him on, persuading him in my sarcastic, sadistic manor so he can just pull the fücking trigger already. I’ve carved my initials into that bullet and I long for the taste of lead. I am a concept, I am a part of time and the universe, but I am fairly certain that my atoms could combine into something much more useful than this hollow carcass I puppeteer through life. I just want to slash the strings and sink into nothingness. Sink into the unfathomably bottomless darkness that beckons to me in my dreams. I cannot shake the feeling that I was never suppose to exist and now it is time to go home, to cease from this world and never enter another. I was an anomaly, an out-liar, a bump in a supposedly smooth road. I should not be here. I am not a person, I am not a spirit or a soul. I am nothing. This was a mistake.
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