Well, they might really want to talk to you, but are too nervous to. I do that, I get reaally nervous like 'what if I'm interupting them' or 'what if they're busy' or 'what if they don't wanna talk to me' so I won't message them sometimes. But sometimes I get up the nerve to say hi or something.. so have hope;)
needless to say, if she was really your friend she'd understand the things you're going through. she wouldn't mind all the suicidal thoughts, she would give all the fyck she needs to give for you to even express this personal emotions to her.
"And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid , its strange that you think im funny cause they never did , and ive been spending the last 8 months thinking all life ever does is break and burn and end , but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again." so you know taylor swifts song right?
I have found some but people perceive most cool music as "omg he broke my heart boo hoo everyone hate him lala" to be amazing and good catchy music that needs to be acknowledged . Not any songs like skyscraper ect