YupItsHannnah

Status: 4 weeks <3
Joined: November 4, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 337473
Gender: F



  Waited , got tired , lost hope , let go. ♥

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I'll forget the world

That I knew

But I swear

I won't forget you.

If my voice

could reach back

through the past

and whisper in

your ear

"darling, I wish

you were here."

 

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hannah renee rooks. 

sixteen.

sophomore ; shs.

taken ; jessie lee broadus.

pregnant ; 4 weeks.




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Quotes by YupItsHannnah

january 21st.

reading everything i posted on here
throughout my pregnancy made me cry.
it's been a while since i really sat down
and thought about my baby.

a lot of people asked me about my pregnancy,
when i still was.
and when i had my miscarriage,
i posted on facebook about it.
telling people to quit asking if i was pregnant.

there is now a big rumor at my school that i faked it.
faked being pregnant, and faked the miscarriage.

i know some people on here thought
it was all for attention too.
and yeah, maybe it was for attention,
but i wanted support. not likes.

i would never fake a miscarriage.
going through all of that, literally broke my heart.
more than my heart, my soul.
i don't care if it was 4 weeks or 4 months.
that baby was mine.
i was a mommy.

i wish i still was...



 
november 22nd.

happy thanksgiving everyone.

it's been awhile since i've been on here.
not much has really happened.
i'm pulling through this.
baby daddy and i broke up,
but we're back together now
& better than ever.
our wedding date is set for next month.

we've decided to let fate take its course.
we aren't TRYING to have another baby,
but we aren't preventing either.
what happens, happens.

rest in peace, my sweet angel.



 

it's those things you didnt think could ever happen to you,
that kill you the most.
it's those things, that break you.
that make you feel so empty inside,
you don't know how you could ever be yourself again.
that make you look at yourself in the mirror,
and be so disgusted with what you see,
so disgusted that you can't even look in the mirror at all.
you blame yourself, because who else is there to blame?
and you're so scared that it'll always be this way.
you'll always hurt.
you'll always be stuck in the constant state,
where you don't really know if you're living,
you just know you're alive.
and you don't know what to do,
because if you move on, then you have to forget,
you have to make yourself believe it never happened.
but it did happen, and you can't just forget.
you can't forget about what you felt, and what you said.
you can't just move on, because then it's over.
and i don't want to admit that it's over.
i don't want it to be over.
i don't want to forget you.
because you were a part of me,
and i loved you so much.
and i only knew you for such a short amount of time,
and then you were gone,
before i even got the chance to show people how much i loved you.
before i even got the chance to feel you move.
before i even got the chance to give you a name.
but you were my baby.
you were mine.
and i already gave you my heart,
and you took it with you when you died,
and now i'm stuck being the only one who remembers you.
the only one who loved you.
the only one who misses you.
and sometimes, at night, i still wake up and rub my belly,
and then i remember that you're not there anymore.
i have to hold onto everything that made you real,
because you were real to me.
people ask me how i could be so upset,
"it was only four weeks." but when i thought about you,
when i looked at my belly,
i had hope.
i had hope that maybe this was life granting me something beautiful.
this was life giving me something to live for.
and now i'm left with nothing.









                        
                       BATHINGHAPPEN
   {        T  O     G  O O  D    P  E  O  P  L  E.           }

 


 

november 12th.

four weeks, is all i got with you.

after having blood clots,
my mom took me to the ER.
after a urine test, blood test, and a pap smear;
they told me i miscarried the night before.
i was only four weeks.

i only got four weeks with you
i'll never get to meet you.
i'll never get to hold you.
i will never forget you.

mommy loves you.

november 11th.

i had a good weekend.
picked out some things for the baby on friday.
went to the zoo with my famly on saturday.
saturday night came along,
and i had a really really bad stomach ache.
to the point, where i couldn't even move without crying.
i was with jessie,
and he didn't know what to do.
we asked his mother, and she didn't know what to do.
since she can't take me to the hospital,
because i'm not on their insurance.
so we just waited it out,
and it eventually went away.

we went to sleep that night,
and i woke up to find my underwear covered in blood.

i can't go to the ER, because we don't have  
the money to pay the bill.. 
But we called the hospital and they said to wait
until my doctors appointment,
and that bleeding was normal
but if it got any heavier than i needed to go
into the ER to get tests done.
mom's buying me a pregnancy test,
but i'm still bleeding..

jessie won't talk to me,
i know it's because he's scared.
i'm scared too.

i don't want to lose my baby..

november 8th.

all i can really do now is wait.
wait for me to get a belly.
wait for my doctors appointment.
wait for the weekend.

but  this post,
i want to dedicate to everyone who has 
left a helpful comment, an inspiring story, even just a 'hey'.
you guys have made this pregnancy, a 100 times easier.
i feel like i have so much support, it's unreal. 

i'm such a cynical person, 
but Witty, you have me believing in the good of things.
you guys are truly wonderful people.

I love you guys, so much.
I honestly don't think I could do this without you guys.



november 7th.

my doctor's appointment is finally scheduled.

November 20th :) 

countdown: THIRTEEN DAYS! <3

 







i'm facing all my fears
& i am trying to improve

i have been this way for
years,
 but i'll gladly change for you.


'cause i am broken

but you are perfect.
you are putting me together
piece by piece.


don't you know you're fixing me?

l


love you, baby  to  be ♥