again

Status: opinions have explanations
Joined: December 16, 2012
Last Seen: 2 years
user id: 342346
Location: you tell me
Gender: F
You know you want to read the scrolling message so badly

Hiya! i’m not going to say much About myself, except
that i’m a Very bright and happy pErson and iF you have
any questions or just need someone to talk to, feel
free To ask me.  Have a fabulous day! J
 



Quotes by again

So it's been more than a year for those of you who've listened and I'm not sure entirely what to say.  I earned a lot of money and spent a lot of money. I became closer to a lot of friends and drifted apart from a few. I had plenty of fun but was also plenty sad. I thought this post would be full of all the answers everyone ever needed to figure themselves out and though I learned quite a bit, I didn't learn enough to have all the answers, but I have a lifetime. So sorry if this gets mushy for a bit, for those of you who don't like that stuff, but you might want to indulge yourself for this one quote. I use to think that if you could make yourself feel numb that you were a success and that the next step would be growing up. but it's not, not to me at least. What I believe makes you get to that next step where you get to grow up is learning how to balance everything and to never be completely free because that means having no connection to poeple or whatever your poison is which means no connection to emotion and as far as I can tell that's the only reason I ever had fun. Some of you may want a life by yourself but happiness insn't achieved completely by yourself I don't believe, if you make a connection with animals, nature, or a higher being then you've made a connection and are therefore not alone. So to those of you looking for the answers, you're not going to find them right away but if you numb yourself and thicken your skin you'll never find them. The fun is in finding the answers and being old and grumpy and wise is for basking in the journey you took to find those answers and to pass on hints to make the road to your place easier for those who don't know what's ahead of them yet, I'm not editing this too much so that I leave the rawness in and since people are my poison and from what I can tell only raw people have real emotion then it seems fitting. I don't know when I'll be back but this isn't for you, this is for me, but if I can help my poison then I will. 
- Cayla-Marie

There was this post on an app that just kids from my school use and one was this word search that said "the first 3 words you see are how your 2015 will be" and mine were money, fun, friends. I haven't had actual fun in a few years and don't believe in that fate and dream stuff anymore.....maybe this year will get me thinking that way again.....I'll let whoever listens know in a year i guess.....

I wish someone would have murdered me the day I started to grow up

You know you're not grown up when you have to resist the urge to ask the doctor how much they spend on band-aids in a year

*lets friends convince me to go to homecoming*
*parks car at homecoming*
*cries at the thought of making a fool of myself*
Mom: You're home early
Me: I couldn't find anyone

You know you were turning nothing into something when your best friend says their sorry and has you call them and they don't remember what you told them
When you can look yourself in the mirror and repeat "I hate myself" without looking away from your own stare....it's gone too far

Opinions have explanations
Maturity is breaking an egg without getting any goup on your hands

So teachers are always asking what is one word that describes you and I finally figured out that 'almost' is my word and I'm kinda happy right now