aislingtomlinson

Stars
There is always someone that no matter what kind of day you have, is there for you. To listen to your problems, to be your tissue and soak up your tears. Someone who is your rock. I lost my rock this summer and I don’t know if I ever will find one like her again. She was so gentle and calm in any and every situation. She had kind eyes. Never judging, just listening. Maybe it seemed like she was just my dog to friends that never owned a pet, but she was so much more than that to me. Keira was the anchor of our family. Having to put her down over the end of the summer was not how I had planned to end my summer vacation. I had dreams of  outrunning the changing leaves with her on the bike path in the fall and to maybe try to introduce her to the mail men so she wouldn’t be so terrified of him. There was so much that I had planned to do, all that wouldn’t be the same without her.
 The thing about death is that it’s always unexpected. Even if one is at their sickest, there is always a glimmer of hope that there will be a miraculous recovery and everything can go back to normal. It never dawned on me that there wouldn’t be a miracle. Keira wasn’t that sick. She’s only five. Everything will be fine! I told myself that over and over again like a broken record.  Keira was going to be ok. She had to be. What would I do without her?
 The day that we had to go to hospital for her to be put down I told myself that this was all a horrible mistake. A sick April fools joke. Keira was our first dog, it could not end this way. It didn’t hit me until I saw my dad cry. My dad does not cry. Seeing him break down was cold reality. This was not a hoax. Keira really was incredibly sick, after today, she wasn’t coming home with us.
 The first few hours after leaving the hospital I felt numb. The first few days, I couldn’t sleep; awake all night alone with my fading memories that I was desperate to cling onto. Nothing but memories was left. I once read that when someone was greatly loved they become one with the stars. Their soul and their memory shining bright as a star. On one of the many restless nights this dawned on me. I found myself on the roof staring at the millions of stars all so beautiful, but so far away, impossible to grasp. Keira must be one of the stars. My rock turned to a star, still so beautiful, but just out of my reach.

Not the black sheep but the odd lamb

Psalms 34:18 
He stays close to the Broken-Hearted,
And saves those who are Crushed in Spirit. ♥

When attractive people compliment me on things I get suspicious, because remember when Regina George complimented that one girl on her skirt?

 

Exactly.

 

I Am Afraid

You say that you love rain,
but you open your umbrella when it rains...
You say that you love the sun,
but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines...
You say that you love the wind,
But you close your windows when wind blows...
This is why I am afraid;
You say that you love me too...

(turkish poem not mine)

At least 3 times a day I will think of something hilarious and laugh out loud and wonder why I don't have my own reality show..anyone else? No? ok.

No One Cares Unless Your Pretty Or Dying...