I don’t really
remember how it started, maybe it was the day when you texted
me first or maybe it was when I caught you looking at me. But
ever since that day I’ve had one of the biggest crush
ever on you. And ever since that day I’ve felt confused,
nervous, and excited all at the same time.
You were everything I had ever wanted
and more. Every time you waved at me in the halls at school or
smile at me in ranks at cadets my heart skips a beat. I
couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in my stomach when
you looked my way; I even smile every time I think about
it.
And that one night that we were both
on fire-picket at the Boblo Island FTX, and you sat next to me
and we shared a blanket beside the fire in the middle of the
night, I knew these feelings weren’t a fluke. And when
you looked at me and smiled my heart jumped for the first time
and I felt something for you that I had never felt before.
Then there were all those times that you
came over to my house in the morning so that we could walk to
school together, I would rush around to get ready and look my
best for you but I knew that you didn’t care what I
looked like. Or those times that you spent the night and we
would sit on my bed; talk and watch movies together until we
were both tired and went to bed.
I remember the time that we were
laying on my bed and I jokingly laid on you and you put your
arms around me and didn’t let go. Then I looked up at you
and smiled and you smiled back. Then I felt it a spark between
us that sent my heart racing, and at that moment I knew that
you and I should be together. Then at 3am when you had to go
downstairs to be you sent me a text telling me that you were
scared to kiss me because you didn’t know what I would
think if you did.
Then we texted each other non stop for days
and we told each other secrets that no one else knew. We would
jokingly push each other in the halls at school and smile at
each other every chance we got. Then you asked me to be your
FWB and I knew our relationship was going somewhere.
But then I found out that you liked someone
else. And that we couldn’t be together because you
thought it wouldn’t be right. But then you said that you
asked me to be FWB because you didn’t want to lose the
closeness between us. And that’s when I put all the trust
in the world in you. Everyone said you were playing me but I
wouldn’t listen to them because I had fallen for you.
But then I realized that things started to
change, you stopped answering my texts; the smiles in the hall
were replaced by awkward looks. Then at vigil we played truth
or dare and I watched you kiss someone else, someone you also
liked.
Then that’s when my heart broke, I
stilled longed for your smile and your texts but I knew they
would never come. But then she played you and I was the only
person there for you. I listened when you ranted and when you
finally asked to be alone I gave you your space then I gave you
my heart again.
Now I’m sitting here almost in tears because
I don’t know what to think of you anymore. You were the
boy I gave my heart to who had already had their heart stolen
by someone else. There was no way of ever fixing the wounds
that she caused to you and I understand that she hurt you but
your starting t hurt me too.
It might sound weird and you might not be ready
for it but there is one thing that I have wanted to say to you
for a long time…
I l o v e y o
u
♥
I really
like you.
I
thought you liked me
remember the cute texts?
the late night phone calls?
The inside jokes?
When we cuddled watching movies?
When you gave me your swaeter walking home?
The moment you were to scared to kiss me?
I wish everyday that it would ask me to be your
girlfriend...
But then you told me you kinnda like some one else
Then my heart sank,
bu then you told me that you still like me too
but being my boyfriend while liking someone else would be
weird.
but that you will still always be there for me and not to give up
on you just yet.
I guess I still have to
wait♥