alliehasfeelings

Status:
Joined: October 17, 2009
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 91434
I have a passion for writing. Mostly about broken hearts or whatever I'm feeling.
Fourteen, and you'd be amazed how much love&hate I've received through life.
You can laugh at what I write or think it's stupid. idgaf. Really. I don't like copiers.
*torn between a world of hate, and a world of dreams.

*everthing on here I have written myself,
unless it says otherwise in the quote,
OR posted under lyrics kthanks<3


<3
 
&i looove love_101
she's my bestfriend(:
 

Quotes by alliehasfeelings

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If We Ever Meet Again
(part 35, other parts are on my profile.)

 

About an hour later Tye started my car and we continued driving back to Antigua. The car was silent aside from the rain pouring down on the car. Before we left Tye and I just talked, it was nice but I willed myself not to say too much, I didn’t need him knowing every self-doubt and thought I’ve ever had. I’m holding Tye’s hand even though he should be using both to drive and before I know it, I’m in a dream state.
                I remember being home, in my room, with Tanner sitting on my bed as I turn myself around from staring at the corner. He had a little white envelope with my name on it. I tried to speak but my words wouldn’t come out. I’ve always hated those dreams where you can’t speak or talk at all. I lifted my right leg to walk and it worked, thank god. As I’m slowly walking over to him I feel my neck itching. I go to feel my neck and there’s a shell necklace. Tanner made me a shell necklace. It wasn’t anything amazing, just a simple string but a perfect little white seashell stung through it. Finally, I reached Tanner. I put my hand out for the letter and he laid it in my palm and closed my fingers around it with his hand. Before I get a chance to open it people come barging in my room. Chelsey’s with Logan, Kelley’s with Kole, Jason’s with Becca, Brie and Tye. Before anything else happens, my door slams and I wake up.
                “Hey sleeping beauty.” Tye whispers as he opens the car door and lets a rush of hot mugginess squeeze into the car.
                “What?” I say rubbing my eyes. “Is it still raining?” He nods his head and reaches for my ice-cold hand.
                “Do you have an umbrella in the car?” He asks ducking his head inside the vehicle. I shake my head no, too tired to use my words.
                He lets go of my hand, ducks out of the car and pushes his backside towards me. “Looks like we’re piggybacking.” Without saying anything I turn myself towards Tye, with the rain pouring and soaking every inch of him, and jumped on his back. He shuts the passenger seat door and runs like a lion chasing his prey. While he’s running he has his arms wrapped under then over my legs and I have my hands placed around his neck like a life-taking rope. 
                Seconds later we’re in the office/tiny room where all the elevators are and he’s pushing the “up” button, not letting go over me. Once the doors open and we’re safely inside the elevator I let go of his neck. He has red marks where my arms where laying, and I start to giggle.
                “You can put me down now, we’re okay.” I say still giggling.
                “Nope.” He says still holding on.          
                “Why not?” I ask. Before he can answer the doors open and he runs to the wrong condo number.
                “Next one, dear.” He then runs to the next door, the right one. “Now you have to let me down, I have the key.”
                Before he can protest I smack his butt with my hand and he lets go. “Good boy.” I tease. I take the key our of my bra, I put things there when I don’t have pockets, and open the door, letting a rush of chilly air hit my face.
                “I’m guessing no one’s here.” Tye says taking a seat on the couch.
                I leave Tye in the living room and I head back to the room all of us girls share to change into sweats and a baggy t-shirt, something warm and comfy. While digging through the draw I find my West York Sweats and a dark blue bowling tee. I put them on, look in the mirror and I decide to throw my hair up in a bun. I bend down, grab all of my unbrushed, yet hair and wrap a hair-tie around it. Without looking I head into the living room with Tye.
                He looks at me and smiles but says nothing. I walk over to the couch, and lay down, putting my head on his lap and stretching my legs. Just as I get comfortable the door swings open.
                Everyone seems to be rushing through the door, Kelley, Brie, Chelsey, Becca, and Jason. Hmm, Kole and Logan didn’t come along, that’s weird. “HIIIIII.” I yell over the tv.
                I get a bunch of responses at once, even from Tye.
                “Allie, can you come back into the bedroom in like five?” Chelsey asks.
                I moan.” Sure, just yell when I’m wanted. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SNACK FOR ME WHEN I COME BACK.” Then the bedroom door slams.
                “I wonder what’s so important.” I think a loud.
                “Who knows?” Tye says picking pieces of hair out of my messy, undone bun. “Maybe the worlds ending and we’ll be the first to die since we’re near the ocean.”            
                I can’t help but laugh. “ No, silly, that’s in 2012.”
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If We Ever Meet Again
(part 34, other parts are on my profile.)

Ocean City, MD.
June 20

I didn’t know what to say, I was out of words. He wanted me to explain something I just couldn’t explain. He wanted me to do something I normally don’t do, open my heart, and tell him how I feel. There’s no way I could tell him that the thought of leaving would bring me to tears, that I might never see him again, that in a couple of days, everything would change, that this summer won’t last forever, and that we’re going to have to either give up or die trying to be together.
                This has had such a good beginning but I’m not sure where it’ll end.
                Thud. Thud. Thud.
                “What’s that?” I ask breathlessly. I hear it again and again.
                Tye reaches for my hand and I let him. “Calm down, love. It’s only rain.” I can’t help but squeeze his hand tight. I love when guys call me things like love, dear, and other things instead of babe, and baby.
                The rain seems to be getting louder, and I have a feeling soon we’ll be hearing thunder. Not many things scare me, or do a lot of things amaze me, but rainstorms, they have a way of doing both at the same time. The sounds slightly frighten me but watching the rain pour down and the lightening in the sky is so stellar to watch.
                I start standing up and moving to the back when Tye lets go of my hand. “What are you doing?” he asks turning the car back on.
                “Now you want to leave?” I pout. He shakes his head. “No, I want to turn the AC on.”
                He winks at me as I start pulling my legs up towards my chest and tucking my sundress under my leg so I’m not showing anything. I onto the right side of the backseat window and gaze out and watch the rain hit the road viciously.
                “So what are you doing back there?”
                “Are you going to keep asking questions or are you going to join me?”
                “I need some help.” He teases grinning.
                I undo my whole body, sit up straight and reach my hand out for his. He grabs it and with all my might, which isn’t a lot, I attempt to pull him into the backseat. It doesn’t work. But he was making it hard on me on purpose. He’s much bigger than I am, and he put all his weight on the seat.                
                I try to let go of his hand, but he pulls me up towards him, thankfully my head doesn’t hit the roof. I don’t resist, and he kisses me, just a short peck on the lips.
                “Now, I can go back there.”
                I smile and finally let go of this hand so he can come back peacefully. Instead of being all scrunched up by the window like last time, I let him sit down and I rest my feet on his lap. He doesn’t seem to mind, which makes me smile.
                “Can we talk now? Or are you going to bite my head off?” Tye asks while taking off my sandals for me.
                “Yes, but only because you’re being so sweet.” I say laughing a bit but then I stop once I hear thunder.
                Tye smiles which I take as a sign that I shouldn’t be scared, that I shouldn’t be scared of the thunder or talking about me leaving. I can’t hold it in until the last day I’m here or just completely ignore it, even if I find that much easier of my behalf.              
                “I’m afraid.” Oh. My. Gosh. Here it goes. “I’m completely and utterly afraid of what’s going to happen when I leave. I don’t want to leave OC and act like nothing happened and we just forget about each other. I don’t want to have a long distance relationship, because I’ve seen them fail so many times before but I don’t want to just let go.” I take a breath. “If I could, I’d stay here, go to school here, but I don’t think that’s a possibility.” I really hope I don’t say too much. “I also don’t want to over think what we have. Yes, we’ve just met days ago, and no, I can’t say I love you romantically, but I really, really like you.” I look up at him he’s staring. At least I have his attention. “Then again, I don’t want to drop everything and we only last for a month. And I don’t want to feel like you can’t live your life because I’m in York, and you’re here. I don’t want to stop your life, my life because we try to make a long distance relationship work and we’re always worried about what the other one’s doing. Does this all make sense?”
                He nods his head up and down. I scotch up closer to him and now my thighs are on his. Before I give him a chance to respond, I lay my head next to his arm and he wraps his arm around me.
                “Allie, that’s where trust and communication come in, sometimes you have to face your fears and do something about it. I’m scared too, but I’m willing to face those fears if you’re there to do it with me.” Thud. Thud. Thud. The rain sounds like it’s about to break through the glass. “I don’t want to pretend like this summer never happened and forget about you. No. I can’t, I won’t let that happen. I’m willing to try this if you are. You can’t let the past scare you out of the future.”
                I start to shiver, this AC and the rain is making me beyond cold. Or maybe it’s something else.
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If We Ever Meet Again
(part 33, other parts are on my profile.)

Ocean City, MD.
June 20

I love car rides. They're so peaceful and calming, when I'm sitting in the passenger seat  You get to look out the window and just day dream and that's exactly what I was doing. Sometimes when I'm going somewhere in the car I don't want to get up, I just want to sit there, forever, and be comfortable. I guess it's a good thing Tye didn't drive his car here, if he did I'd be driving right now. I hate driving in when it's pitch-black outside, but driving around at night has it's up. The lights, for one, are so beautiful to look at, even if we are just in Ocean City. 
"You tired?" Tye's voice rung through my ears, I was so into my thoughts that I practically jumped out of my seat. I shoved my hand away from my check, there was probably a big red mark from where my hand once sat, and shifted to look at Tye.
"Just caught up in my thoughts." Expecting Tye to ask what they were about I turned myself towards the window again. We just passed an old looking ice cream place that probably doesn't get much business but it was lite up so pretty that it had to have dragged some tourist in. I might have to go there before we leave in a few days.
Tye cleared his throat. "You know what I've been thinking about lately?"
Me?
I shook my head, not knowing if he saw me or not.
"This whole baby ordeal and you going..." He slowly stopped, not finishing his sentence. His third word caught me offgaurd, baby? What baby? 
"Not yet, don't. But baby?" I asked rotating myself to looking at him again. Damn, he's so cute. There’s not any boys at home like him, with looks or personality. It's crazy to actually find someone in OC. I mean, we all hope and think about meeting someone wonderful here, but like 99% of the people never do. I must be getting lucky. Luck. Or fate. Whichever it may be, I'm so happy it happened. No, I'm not in love, yet, but he stills makes my tummy feel funny, even though I'm completely comfortable with him, he makes my heart beat faster, and when I see him he gives me the urge to just run up and hug him and never let go. It's different, yet so similar. 
He chuckled. "Kole. Koles baby." Then a smile eased onto this perfectly shaped face. Oh, that smile. I can't help but smile too when I see it.
Kole’s baby, I almost forgot about that.
"Well what exactly have you been thinking about when it comes to his soon-to-be baby?" I say perking up.
"Just how Kelley feels about it, I mean she can't be too please about it." He sighed. "But then again, it's not like they've known each other long.
"Neither have we." My mouth was thinking much faster than my brain. I could hit myself right now. I close my eyes, tight. The cars silent for a few seconds so I feel safe to open my eyes again. As soon as I open them, I have a pair of eyes looking into mine. Tye's eyes, the best kind. His smiles gone, and his face looks a bit serious.
"It's different, with us. Isn't it?" He asked. I shake my head yes.
"I didn't mean for it to sound the way it sounded. Actually, I didn't mean to say that at all." I mutter silently. He sighs, hopefully a sigh of relief. “But yeah, I haven’t talked to Kelley about that lately. I might have to talk to her whenever she gets home tonight.”
“Allie.” I look at Tye. “Is it possible to care this much?”
Hmmm. “Babies are a big deal, and he is your friend, so yes, probably.”
He speeds up the car, I can feel it going at least 15 mph faster than before. Wherever we are, no ones too close in front of us so it must not matter much.
“No. Not about the baby. You leaving.” 
I fiddle in my seat before saying anything. “Please, not right now. We’ll talk about this when the time comes, not right now. We still have time.”
That answer doesn’t seem to satisfy him because he pulls my car over and turns it off. I can hear cars passing by much more quickly than they should be. I can’t even tell where we are, nowhere near the condo I’m assuming. 
“Are we on a highway?” I ask not looking directly at him. I know he’s not going to answer me, but it’s worth a shot.
He takes off his seatbelt, and turns towards me completely. I unbuckle myself as well. “You can’t avoid this subject forever, you won’t be here soon, you’ll be home, in York, and I’ll be here, in OC, without you.” 
“I’m not avoiding anything.” I say a little louder than I should have. 
“Then why do you keep telling me to shhh whenever I bring it up?” He says calmly.
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I write myself letters
about how I feel about him,
& Look back on them
weeks later to see if I still
l   o   v   e   h    i   m.

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Dear girl who feels like it'll never end,

Eventually, the pain stops.

Just be strong until that happens.

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vent

B e c a r e f u l ,
I / "loved" / him / once &
l.o.o.k w.h.e.r.e t.h.a.t g.o.t m.e,
HEART BROKEN < / 3

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break up

If We Ever Meet Again
(part 31, other parts are on my profile.)

Ocean City, MD.
June 20

    "Hey cutie." Jason purred which was followed by a wink when I walked out of the bathroom. I was wearing a very simple, white skinny strapped, flowy dress. It came just above my knee caps and I was wearing my black gladiator sandals.
    I gave him a look. "You're such a perv but you look nice too." He was wearing bleach white cargo shorts with a very light blue button up with the first two buttons undone and an unbuttoned dark brown vest, very vintage yet semi-formal.
    I left out a big sigh, I'm so glad he actually bought my lie. I told him we were going to meet a future employer and I needed a date, and we needed to look kind of dressed up. Good thing Jason likes people needing his help, it makes him feel tough and good inside. Kelley texted me the place and everything, she said not to tell Jason anything and my lips are sealed, literally. They're sealed with a lit pink shimmery lip gloss, even though I hate lip gloss with a passion, this was I love.
    "Shall we?" Jason asks in a deep voice, locking arms with me and heading out the door.
    I smile wide, showing my naturally straight and white teeth, all thanks to crest toothpaste.

Harpoon Hanna's. That's where the party was, we pulled into a parking place way across the parking lot, the spaces were practically all filled besides a few lonesome ones in the way back. As we walk I see only one car that really stands out, it's a bright yellow mustang with the windows down. Ugh, I hate when people have their windows down the whole way when they park their car. The only person I know who does that is, Jesse. Jesse's here, and he must have Becca.
    "So," Jason said bumping into me, "Am I suppose to say anything for you to get this job?"
    "Nope, I just needed a date, merely for support." I giggle nervously.
    He starts walking a little faster. "Why are you looking for a job down here?"
    "Whoa, no need to book it, Speed Racer." I joke. "And I don't. Exploring options if you will."
    Jason nods knowingly. Ah, I can't believe he's buying this. I could have a career in lying! Wait, lying is what made me end up hating Tanner, plus a few extra brain-dead moves. When we walk through the glass doors of Harpoon Hanna's I see Jesse, and I can't help but smile. I almost wave, forgetting the whole surprise party. He has two menus in his hand, and leads us down a few steps then stops dramatically.
    "Whaaaaaat the -" I hear Jason moan. I turn around Chelsey snuck up behind Jason and tied a cloth napkin over his eyes and grabbed his arms.
    "Shhh. Just follow me and don't make a sound."
    "Alllllie, what's going on?" I can't help but giggle as Jason fiddles around unable to get out of Chelsey's grip. We walk down a few more stairs, and then head out to a patio with a bunch of people, balloons, cake, present, and streamers. This looks pretty good for a 3 year party. I turn around and I see Becca, with the same eye attire Jason has coming through the sliding glass door.
    "SURPRISE!" Everyone yells unison just as both blindfolds were being stripped off. Their eyes sparkled with happiness and their mouths were in the shape of a full-out smile. They both turned at the same time to see one another and they grabbed each other tightly and Jason kissed her lightly on her lips. Awh, how cute. I love when love actually decides to work for me.
    The surprised couple made their way around the party and greeted everyone and saying their thank you's. They looked so happy, and three years is a long time, especially for Jason. Soon they started playing music and I finally made me way to the girls and Jesse. All of them looked so gorgeous! They must have gotten up really early for all of them to get ready and put this whole party together. I wish they would have told me about it that way I was prepared for everything but sometimes a little challenge is good for you. Hmm, speaking of a challenge where in the world did Kelley and the girls get the money to pay for all of this? Sue and Steve must have chipped in, they had to have.
    "...look how happy they look." Brie says admiring Becca and Jason dancing.
    I was about to say something when I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn around and it's Tye.
    "Tye!" I explain turning fully around to hug him.
    He chuckles and hugs me back. "It's nice to see you too."
    One of the girls clear their throats, I look at Chelsey and she's smiling. She must have called him and told him to come, ah, I love my friends. 'Thank you' I mouth as Tye puts his hand in mine, it's cold, he must have had his air-conditioner on full blast. His icy hand makes my whole body tingle but in a good way. Tye looks cute as always, he's wearing a light orange polo that shows off his tan skin and tan cargo shorts.
    Tye leans down and whispers in my ear. "You look amazing."
    I giggle shyly and smile. I'm at a lost for words and that's when I realize Jesse's just staring at us.
    "Tye, this is Jesse's, he's from back home." I manage. "Jesse, this is Tye, from well, here."
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