Reputation
Part
Thirty-Five
"Mandy? What
are you doing in here?" I asked her.
"I was mad at you today. I didn't want to
come to school at all, but I did."
"Mandy, I'm really really sorry. You have to
believe me." I pleaded.
She just eyed me and then looked at her shoes.
"Ok, I'm not really mad at you. I'm just... Hurt, i
guess. I miss your brother." She looked in the mirror and
stared at her reflection, then at mine. "This is weird,
Aree."
"How so, baby girl?"
"Just, I've never really liked a guy before,
and--"
"Wait wait wait," I stopped her.
"You've NEVER liked a guy before?! What the
hell?!"
"Well, I've never met a guy worth liking
before."
I scoffed. "And Ashton is worth
it?" She gave me a look and I apologized. "Sorry,
habit."
"It's ok. But you know, there's more to
him than meets the eye. He actually does get hurt sometimes.
Contrary to your belief."
"Yeah, I guess." I thought for a moment.
"But honestly, Mandy, I've ever seen him that upset. And
I've never seen him look at a girl the way he looks at
you."
She looks back at her shoes and blushes.
"You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not, Mand. I think he loves you. My
brother's never been in love before and this could be the
first time he softens up. And, Oh God, I ruined it!" I sank
down to the floor and felt the tears building up again. "Why
do I always have to ruin everything?!" I wail. "Your
brother trusted me to take care of you and you go out and get
drunk by some skeevy high school guys. And then the one time my
brother falls in love, I ruin it! I ruin
everything!!" I knew I was being overdramatic, but
I didn't care.
Mandy sank down beside me and started rubbing my
back. "It's ok, you didn't ruin everything.
We're going to find Ashton, don't worry. And then
Kyle's going to come home and everything will turn out
perfectly. Shh.."
We sat like that for a while, then we heard the
second period bell ring. "Crap, we better get going." I
wiped my eyes and reaplied my lipgloss. We shared a look and
walked out into the busy hallway.
*Author's note: ok..
i'm OFFICIALLY the worst person EVER. I'm SO sorry I
haven't written in so long! Thank you to all my COMPLETELY
AMAZING followers!!! Love you all!!
Reputation
Part Twenty-Four
On Monday morning, i took a deep
breath and walked into my school. I cautiously walked into the
busy hallway and started to made my way to my locker. While I was
walking, I thought about Mandy.
That morning, when I knocked on her door, she
didn't answer. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I
spent 15 minutes calling her name but eventually gave up to get
ready for school. I picked out my cutest outfit and had driven
the entire way to school going over what happened at the football
field.
I don't know why I kept feeling guilty. My guilt
never lasted this long. Maybe it's because Mandy feels
guilty, and it's just rubbing off on me. I don't like
it.
When I reached my locker, ACL was standing by it.
Angie, Cassie, and Lacie, i remember. WTF? How the hell do I
remember their names now, when I never did before? Whatever.
Wait, why are they even by my locker?
"Heyyyyy Areeeee!!!!!" Angie
says.
"Long time no see, girlieee!!" Cassie
squeals as she hugs me."
"Uhm, yeah!"Lacie says. She was the one
who macked on Bryan behind my back. She looked really
uncomfortable.
"Uh, hey guys. What gives?" they kept
looking at me, so I tried again. "Why are y'all over
here, talking to me? Y'all ditched me, remember?"
"Ohh, but that was sooo long ago!!" Cassie
said.
I just looked at her. "It was 3 months
ago."
"Exactly!!" Angie says. "And besides,
you didn't ACTUALLY think we were ditching you, did
you?!"
"Well," I said. "Kind of. Because you
did."
"Nooo, you don't understand!!" Cassie
told me.
Angie pitched in, "Yeah!"
"You see," Cassie began. "We just had
to come up with a plan to get your reputation back. That's
all!" Ah, my rep, again. That's what started this whole
thing.
"Yeah!" Angie said. "And to do that,
we had to stay popular! You know, so we could pull you back up to
your rightful place as the school alpha!" This made no
sense.
"Uh, ok. Whatever. I got to get to class."
I started walking away, but Lacie grabbed my arm. She hadn't
said anything.
"Look, Aree. I'm really sorry. I just had
always like Bryan, and I never wanted to hurt you, I
just--"
"Seriously, it's no big deal. I honestly
couldn't care less. K?"
"Really?" She asked me. Her face relaxed
when I nodded. "Oh, um, ok then."
I started walking away again, but she walked
with me. "So," she started again. "What's with
you and the new guy? Where is he, anyway?"
At the sudden mention of Kyle, my eyes filled with
tears. WTF?! Tears?!
"Uh, nothing. I don't know. Hey, I'm
just gonna go to the bathroom." I told her, shielding my
face so she couldn't see I was crying.
"You sure? K, I'll come with." She
started to come with me.
"No, it's fine, you'll be late to
class."
"Oh, ok." She hesitated. "But
we're cool, right?"
I probably should have been more mad. And I was, at
one point. After all, she had went behind my back, when I had
trusted her. A couple months ago, I had wanted to ruin her. But
that was before I didn't care. Before I didn't want to.
Before I met Kyle.
"Yeah, we're cool."
She smiled. "Cool."
I ran to the bathroom, and just made it through the
door before the tears came. The flowed out and I sunk down onto
the floor. I sat there for a second, before I heard a voice in
the bathroom.
"You came here too, huh?"
No way. "Mandy?"
Reputation
Part Thirty-Three
Mandy still won't talk to me.
I dont think she's mad at me, more like she's mad at
herself. but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty. She
hasn't come out of her room for two days now, and ashton
hasn't come home. my parents aren't even worried. they
probably think that he's at a friends house, but i have a
hunch that he doesn't really have any friends anymore. sure,
i feel a little bad. but he deserved it.
right?
of course, mandy didn't think so. but then
again, of course she doesn't. she's in love with him.
ok, so maybe not in love. but she definitely likes
him. and he likes her. and i completely ruined anything they
could've had. i guess that's what i feel bad about.
i was sitting on my window seat in my room. it
was raining, and i saw a bird outside that was trying to huddle
her kids together, and save them from the rain. one of the chicks
jumped from the nest, into a large puddle. the mother jumped out
after it and tried to fish it out. meanwhile, the other chicks
were just watching. for some reason, i was shocked that the other
chicks weren't helping. their brother was drowning, and they
were just standing by, watching it happen. but why did that
bother me so much?
the answer was obvious.
it's like my life. i was supposed to be the
mother. i was supposed to watch over mandy and help her if the
time came. i was supposed to look after her if i needed to and
not let her drown. but instead, i was just watching her be in
trouble.
kyle had trusted me to look after her. and now,
she's in emotional solitary, because i wasn't looking out
for her.
the thought of kyle brought a wave of sadness
over me. something dropped on my shorts and made a temporary,
circular stain on the denim. i touched my cheek and realized i
was crying. i looked toward my vanity and stared into my
mirror.
i was taken aback at what i saw.
who was that in the mirror?
was that the laid back girl who ate as much as she
wanted and watched action movies, who mandy and
kyle brought out?
or was that the self absorbed girl that didn't
care about anyone but herself? who only ate water and little else
and made everyone feel like crap because they weren't good
enough to be friends with her? the girl that the world brought
out?
i stared into the unfamiliar eyes and wondered which
girl i wanted to be. obviously, i wanted to be the first. but
somehow, that second girl kept coming into my life, and ruining
it. i tried to clear her from my mind, but we had a mutual
thought and priority that made her keep showing up. that
thought?
the obsession for my reputation.
and even though i have tried so hard to maintain it,
something always comes along and ruins it. no matter what i
do.
Reputation
Part Thirty-Two
Aree's POV::
Mandy was quiet on the way home. i, on the other
hand, was ecstatic. i can't believe we had finally gotten
back at ashton. he had teased and tortured me for my whole life,
and finally, people were laughing at him for the first time in
his life. he deserved it.
Apparantly, mandy wasn't so sure. from the time
he ran off the field, mandy had looked dazed and unsure. i was
trying to cheer her up, but i had no luck.
i tried again at the house. "Heyyy girl.
what's up?? why aren't you all smiles? our plan was a
complete success!! he was humiliated!!"
she looked at me and spoke up for the first time
since before the incident.
"thats the problem." she said. "aree,
i don't care if he deserved it. i feel awful."
"girlll, you shouldn't!! he had it
coming!!"
"maybe, but maybe we shouldn't have gone
that far. his life is pretty much ruined, now."
"so, what, you're in love with him
now?" my voice came out a lot harsher than i meant. ashton
brings he worst out in me. she looked like i had slapped her.
"when did i say that? i just said that i felt
bad. no, i'm not in love with him. you have to know someone
to be in love with them. i barely know ashton. but yes, i care
about him. is that so wrong?"
i waved her off and turned my back on her. now she
was under his spell, too. well, not necessarily.. she was too
wise for her age. i knew she was in the right, but i didn't
want to admit i felt bad, too.
"hon, i've lived with him my whole
life. he'll bounce back. eventually."
"how do you know?"
"because!" i laughed. "he's
ashton. i know everything about him."
"oh, so you know that he's
heartbroken."
my smile dropped. "what?"
"ashton. when i looked into his eyes... it was
like... i don't know... he looked like he was a little boy
that had just seen both his parents killed and skinned alive,
right in front of him. he looked so betrayed and shocked and
disappointed. so since you know him so well, you must know that,
right?"
i was speechless. her voice was shaky, so i turned
and looked at her. she was staring in the mirror, glaring at
herself. she looked angry, exhausted, devestated, regretful,
and a whole bunch of other emotions i couldn't
comprehend.
she turned and looked at me with her hazel eyes
filled with tears. "that's what i thought." she
said, and stormed out of my room.
at least she was wrong about one thing: she's
sure as hell in love with him.
and judging by the way he hesitated running away
from her on the field, the worst part is that he's in love
with her too.