30 Day Self-harm challenge
30 Day Self-harm challenge
time to vent.
so, my one cousin, she's been like a sister to me, but recently she stabbed me in the back, and we drifited. okay, so, she was talking to this one kid at the begining of last summer, Kris, and she introduced me to him. as soon as i met him, i knew there was something special about him. they stopped talking towards the end of summer. she told me she had no feelings left for him, and he didnt have feelings for her either. me and him started talking just as friends, and eventually it grew to more than a friendship. we flirted, and before i knew it, he told me he had feelings for me, and so did i, then we started dating. the worst was telling my cousin about this. she got so mad at me. she accused me of "taking" him from her. she wouldnt talk to me for a month. i dont think she had the right to get mad at me because she told me she didnt like him anymore. anyway, i couldnt tell my mom about him because i knew she wouldnt let me date him cuz i'm bulgarian and muslim and hes american and chrisitan, and my mom wants me to date a bulgarian whos also muslim. and my cousin knew that. the one day, i told my mom i was going to my friends house, but she didnt know he was coming over too. my friend lives down the street from me and you could see her house from my porch. when it was time for me to go home, he was leaving too and we kissed outside. when i got home, my mom told me she saw. i knew someone had to tell her to go outside because she never goes on the porch while i'm coming home. i got grounded and she tried to make me break up with him, but it didn't work. we still dated. and my being stupid, i thought i could trust my cousin, so of course i told her. Kris and i saw eachother a couple more times. the one time, he came over, and no one knew about it except for my cousin and my bestfriend who was at my house with us. a couple days later my mom tells me she knows he was over. i knew it wasnt my bestfriend who told cuz why would she also rat herself out? i put all the clues together and realized it was my cousin. i knew it was her because all the other times me and him hung out and i didnt tell her, my mom never found out, but the times i told her, my mom somehow found out. i asked her if it was her telling my mom but she denied it. well of course she would. now everytime we hang out she always asks me about him. about whether or not i still talk to him, if we've hung out lately and stuff like that. i know better than to tell her the truth. what really kills me is the fact that she stabbed me in the back. i trusted her with everything. with all my problems. with all my fears. i told her about me cutting, and im pretty sure she told my mom about that too. do any of you guys know how bad it hurts to get stabbed in the back by the one person you thought you could trust? the one person you least expected it from? things will never be the same for me and her. ever. i will never be able to forgive her. i may act okay, and pretend i forgive her, but i dont. and i never will. she broke my trust, theres no way she will ever have it again. if you read all of this, thank you. <3 it means a lot to me, i've had this on my chest for a while now, and it feels good to get it all out.
Thirty-two secrets. Be honest
no matter what.
One -
Where was your profile pic taken? baby shower.
Two -
Are you being honest? yes
Three-
Have you ever lost a close friend? yeah.
Four -
What is your current mood? sickkk.
Five-
Whats your brother’s name? hassan.
Six -
Where do you wish you were right now? in his arms
♥
Seven -
Have a crazy side? oh yeah.
Eight -
Ever had a near death experience? yes.
Nine -
Something you do a lot? text my baby, listen to music, go on tumblr and twitter.
Ten -
Angry at anyone? yes.
Eleven -
What's the last thing you said to your mom? mkbye
Twelve -
When was the last time you cried? last night..
Thirteen
Is there anyone you would do anything for ? yes,
Kristopher.
Fourteen
What do you think about when you are falling asleep? damn, i
love him.
Fifteen-
Do you still have pictures of an ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
no.
Sixteen-
What was the last thing in your mouth? candy.
Seventeen-
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mom.
Eighteen-
What is your favorite song? just a kiss.
What are you doing right now? waiting for his soccer practice
to finish.
Twenty -
Where did you get the top you are wearing? aero.
Twenty-one-
Do you enjoy drama? no.
Twenty two-
Describe your life in three words? far from perfect
Twenty three-
Who are you thinking of right now? my babbbe.
Twenty four-
What should you be doing right now? putting clothes away.
Twenty five-
What are you listening to? nothing.
Twenty-six-
Does it annoy you when PEOPlEzz TAlk likE THiS? yes
Twenty seven-
Who was the last person who yelled at you? dad.
Twenty eight-
Why were you last sad? dad.
Twenty nine-
Do you use smiley faces on the computer? yes.
Thirty-
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? yes
Thirty one-
Are you happy with life right now? partially.
Thirty two-
Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
eh.
30 Day Self-harm challenge