audreyann
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Joined: August 22, 2010
Last Seen: 3 years
user id: 121920
Location: the feckin moon lad
Gender: F
Joined: August 22, 2010
Last Seen: 3 years
user id: 121920
Location: the feckin moon lad
Gender: F
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12,935 Favorites
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432 Followers
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Je t'aime un petit peu.
Audrey. 16. Boarding school. Ultimate Frisbee. "Life is about creating yourself."
My best friend Jesse wrote this for me on a bad week.
I read it when things feel hopeless:
Has it ever occurred to you that you could change your life right this second if you really wanted to? You could stand up and yell at your teacher if you wanted to. You could place yourself in a life or death situation if you wanted. You could even take that risk and just spontaneously and passionately kiss the one you really love by surprise. You could change the entire outcome of our lives, and if our lives are really as bad as we say they are, why won’t we take those chances?
I don't fight with stupid people on the internet so if you're going to leave a sassy comment on my profile, I will most likely not give one single . Ladies & gents, I have had much worse than you.
audreyann's Favorite Quotes
“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”
-John Green
Question:
Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept
with?
John Green: No and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this than men.
John Green: Also, it's such a weird thing to care about. Like, imagine, if I started eating Cheerios for breakfast, Cheerios be like, "I'm the 48th ceareal you've tried eating! I don't feel special!"
John Green: Well then screw you, Cheerios. I can't go back into the past and un-eat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your whole-grain crunch!
John Green: No and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this than men.
John Green: Also, it's such a weird thing to care about. Like, imagine, if I started eating Cheerios for breakfast, Cheerios be like, "I'm the 48th ceareal you've tried eating! I don't feel special!"
John Green: Well then screw you, Cheerios. I can't go back into the past and un-eat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your whole-grain crunch!
in his arms
Chapter 36
Morgan, for the first
time in her entire life, felt and looked absolutely
beautiful.
It was slightly indescribable; the feelings of watching your sister prepare to be married. She was my best friend, and I wanted her to be happy. But, in a way, I knew I was losing her.
She allowed her hair to, over time, renew the auburn color it naturally expressed. She let it fall in native imperfect curls around her face and just below shoulder length. She decided today she would not wear much, if any makeup.
She held true to that, only wearing glimmering pink lip gloss. She allowed earrings and a necklace that matched mine to hang from her body.
Her dress was a spaghetti strap with floral lace patterns and beads at the top, and a silky texture from the lower chest down. It was slightly folded over to give off the impression that she was thinner than she actually was. She wore a thin veil that hung to the middle of her back.
My face was decorated with more eye shadow than I was used to and a smidge of eyeliner. My lips were coated in a very pale grey-purple color that twinkled in the lighting. I felt awkward in my heels, I couldn’t walk right even without them.
Morgan sent the bridesmaids out to mingle with people already at the wedding. Anthony wasn’t too familiar with everyone, so I hung by him, and then when Ben and his wife came in, we went over to talk to them.
Benjamin smiled widely at me, greeting me with a gentle peck on the cheek, and his wife, whose name I had yet to learn, welcomed me with wide eyes, open smile, and outstretched arms.
She was stick thin, but her hugs seemed to consume you. “Ah! I’m so excited to see you!”
“It’s nice to see you again too!” I beamed. We all talked for just a short amount of time before I was dragged out of the conversation by another person, and another person.
After talking to nine or ten different people, Anthony and I finally found some time to us before the wedding actually started. We stood around a large table decorated with fruit. “So, I talked to Ben for a little while.”
“How is he?”
“He was wondering if we wanted to participate in a charity.”
My eyes snapped up from the strawberry I was eating. “What kind?”
“A book drive. For little kids in hospitals, and for soldiers overseas.”
My eyes went wide and a smile broke out on my face. “Oh my God, Anthony, that would be amazing!”
He grinned. “Yeah, I liked it too. We’ll call him.”
Everyone began taking seats on either side of the isle in the large ballroom. I sat next to Anthony, holding his hand in the front row, and my mother was beside him. His hands seemed clammy tonight, and I wondered why.
After everyone was silent, nothing happened. No music, no Morgan. Nothing.
Aidan cleared his throat, and suddenly everyone looked to him. “I have a friend who has a slight announcement to make before we proceed with the ceremony.” He winked to someone in my general direction.
I felt Anthony’s grip break from mine as my head snapped around to look at him as he got down on one knee and pulled a small box from his pocket.
Thank you, Nemo. I had to shovel your remnants off the back porch today. That took 2 hours.
I just got in from sledding, so hello hot chocolate <3
Oh and by the way I started writing my next short story. It's a lot worse than this one oops.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*
It was slightly indescribable; the feelings of watching your sister prepare to be married. She was my best friend, and I wanted her to be happy. But, in a way, I knew I was losing her.
She allowed her hair to, over time, renew the auburn color it naturally expressed. She let it fall in native imperfect curls around her face and just below shoulder length. She decided today she would not wear much, if any makeup.
She held true to that, only wearing glimmering pink lip gloss. She allowed earrings and a necklace that matched mine to hang from her body.
Her dress was a spaghetti strap with floral lace patterns and beads at the top, and a silky texture from the lower chest down. It was slightly folded over to give off the impression that she was thinner than she actually was. She wore a thin veil that hung to the middle of her back.
My face was decorated with more eye shadow than I was used to and a smidge of eyeliner. My lips were coated in a very pale grey-purple color that twinkled in the lighting. I felt awkward in my heels, I couldn’t walk right even without them.
Morgan sent the bridesmaids out to mingle with people already at the wedding. Anthony wasn’t too familiar with everyone, so I hung by him, and then when Ben and his wife came in, we went over to talk to them.
Benjamin smiled widely at me, greeting me with a gentle peck on the cheek, and his wife, whose name I had yet to learn, welcomed me with wide eyes, open smile, and outstretched arms.
She was stick thin, but her hugs seemed to consume you. “Ah! I’m so excited to see you!”
“It’s nice to see you again too!” I beamed. We all talked for just a short amount of time before I was dragged out of the conversation by another person, and another person.
After talking to nine or ten different people, Anthony and I finally found some time to us before the wedding actually started. We stood around a large table decorated with fruit. “So, I talked to Ben for a little while.”
“How is he?”
“He was wondering if we wanted to participate in a charity.”
My eyes snapped up from the strawberry I was eating. “What kind?”
“A book drive. For little kids in hospitals, and for soldiers overseas.”
My eyes went wide and a smile broke out on my face. “Oh my God, Anthony, that would be amazing!”
He grinned. “Yeah, I liked it too. We’ll call him.”
Everyone began taking seats on either side of the isle in the large ballroom. I sat next to Anthony, holding his hand in the front row, and my mother was beside him. His hands seemed clammy tonight, and I wondered why.
After everyone was silent, nothing happened. No music, no Morgan. Nothing.
Aidan cleared his throat, and suddenly everyone looked to him. “I have a friend who has a slight announcement to make before we proceed with the ceremony.” He winked to someone in my general direction.
I felt Anthony’s grip break from mine as my head snapped around to look at him as he got down on one knee and pulled a small box from his pocket.
Thank you, Nemo. I had to shovel your remnants off the back porch today. That took 2 hours.
I just got in from sledding, so hello hot chocolate <3
Oh and by the way I started writing my next short story. It's a lot worse than this one oops.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*
in his arms
Chapter 34
At first, I didn’t feel anything. I guess
I was just trying to let everything sit in. I couldn’t
believe it. This was my everything. He was my
everything. My life. My meaning for existence.
And he was dying.
I gasped and brought my hands up to my mouth. An impulsive hollowness entered my chest, and it felt like something was torn out of me. “No,” was all I managed to stutter before overwhelming sobs and shaking took over my body.
He bobbed his head as he slid on the bed next to me.
“Anthony, please be lying,” I begged. “Please. Please!”
“Please, Kail, please don’t cry,” he asked frantically and wide-eyed. “Please, Kaitlyn, please.”
“When is the surgery?”
He shrugged. “A month, about.”
“So it could kill you?”
“If the cancer doesn’t kill me first.”
I couldn’t say anything else; my breathing shuddered with the tears I couldn’t hold back. My throat was jagged, and I felt like I could’ve gotten sick.
“Stop, stop,” he murmured, pressing his cold fingers to my cheek. “This is why I didn’t tell you. Kaitlyn, for me, seeing you crying or upset is the worst thing in the world. Watching you go through chemo, that killed me. I never want to see you like this. I want to do anything to change that.”
Nothing he could’ve said, nothing anyone could’ve said would’ve been enough to make me stop crying. So I didn’t. I didn’t even respond to him.
“How’s your day?” he finally asked desperately. I turned my face up to his.
“What?”
“How’s your day going?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to get your mind off of it.”
I tore my eyes from his and instead placed them on my shaking fingers. “Awesome, can’t you tell?”
“What’s that dress for?” he murmured.
I glanced up again at the purple dress that was laid out on my bed. “Oh, Morgan and Aidan’s wedding. You were invited, by the way; I just completely forgot to tell you.”
He forced a meager smile. “No, Morgan already invited me. The weekend we went to New York, she told me that was the city she was going to get married in, and then invited me.”
I sighed heavily. “Oh.”
“I have a tie that matches that dress,” he told me.
My fingers traced the lace. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he hummed, sliding his body closer to mine. “We’ll look cute, all color coordinated.”
“I never look cute anymore,” I muttered.
He tilted my face to his so our eyes were locked. “Maybe not cute,” he murmured, our facings leaning closer together, “but Kaitlyn, I think you are absolutely beautiful.”
And he wrapped his arms around my frail body, cradling me. And I became breathless, weightless. I hadn’t any problems. I was lost again.
It was amazing, how I felt in his arms.
So I have a snowday tomorrow, and I will probably lose internet. Sorry if I don't upload for a while ~
There was a girl in my school who made up a rumor about herself being pregnant. She made up a rumor about herself. I can't be the only one who sees a problem with this.
Oh one last thing, if you're one of those b.tches who is "done reading this story" because "it's just a bad copy" of a book I've never read, then keep your f.cking comments to yourself and have a horrible day. K thanks.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*
And he was dying.
I gasped and brought my hands up to my mouth. An impulsive hollowness entered my chest, and it felt like something was torn out of me. “No,” was all I managed to stutter before overwhelming sobs and shaking took over my body.
He bobbed his head as he slid on the bed next to me.
“Anthony, please be lying,” I begged. “Please. Please!”
“Please, Kail, please don’t cry,” he asked frantically and wide-eyed. “Please, Kaitlyn, please.”
“When is the surgery?”
He shrugged. “A month, about.”
“So it could kill you?”
“If the cancer doesn’t kill me first.”
I couldn’t say anything else; my breathing shuddered with the tears I couldn’t hold back. My throat was jagged, and I felt like I could’ve gotten sick.
“Stop, stop,” he murmured, pressing his cold fingers to my cheek. “This is why I didn’t tell you. Kaitlyn, for me, seeing you crying or upset is the worst thing in the world. Watching you go through chemo, that killed me. I never want to see you like this. I want to do anything to change that.”
Nothing he could’ve said, nothing anyone could’ve said would’ve been enough to make me stop crying. So I didn’t. I didn’t even respond to him.
“How’s your day?” he finally asked desperately. I turned my face up to his.
“What?”
“How’s your day going?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to get your mind off of it.”
I tore my eyes from his and instead placed them on my shaking fingers. “Awesome, can’t you tell?”
“What’s that dress for?” he murmured.
I glanced up again at the purple dress that was laid out on my bed. “Oh, Morgan and Aidan’s wedding. You were invited, by the way; I just completely forgot to tell you.”
He forced a meager smile. “No, Morgan already invited me. The weekend we went to New York, she told me that was the city she was going to get married in, and then invited me.”
I sighed heavily. “Oh.”
“I have a tie that matches that dress,” he told me.
My fingers traced the lace. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he hummed, sliding his body closer to mine. “We’ll look cute, all color coordinated.”
“I never look cute anymore,” I muttered.
He tilted my face to his so our eyes were locked. “Maybe not cute,” he murmured, our facings leaning closer together, “but Kaitlyn, I think you are absolutely beautiful.”
And he wrapped his arms around my frail body, cradling me. And I became breathless, weightless. I hadn’t any problems. I was lost again.
It was amazing, how I felt in his arms.
So I have a snowday tomorrow, and I will probably lose internet. Sorry if I don't upload for a while ~
There was a girl in my school who made up a rumor about herself being pregnant. She made up a rumor about herself. I can't be the only one who sees a problem with this.
Oh one last thing, if you're one of those b.tches who is "done reading this story" because "it's just a bad copy" of a book I've never read, then keep your f.cking comments to yourself and have a horrible day. K thanks.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*
They're Just Words
TO MY BEAUTIFUL READERS
I'm so sorry for the long way. I just put the first chapter of this story up on Wattpad and will continue it on that website. My username is going_on_seventeen. I hope you don't hate me because I LOVE you guys <3 Thanks so much for all your support. I've been having a hard time lately and it means a lot to me.
in his arms
Chapter
23
It had returned.
The vomiting. The weakness. The irritability. The weight loss. The fatigue. The nausea.
I rolled over in my bed, breathing deeply. I couldn’t throw up again.
The lights stayed off and the windows stayed shut. It was completely dark in my room, despite the fact that it was early afternoon everywhere else.
There was a knock on my door. “Come in,” I croaked, and looked up to find Anthony walking in, something in his hand.
Chemotherapy never seemed to affect him as much as it did me. Or, maybe he was just better at hiding it.
“What is that?”
He grinned down at what he held in his hand, then back up at me. “A book.”
I felt his lips press against my cheek. They were warm, gentle.
“A book for what?”
“For you,” he told me, sitting in the chair in the corner. “We’re going to get you to 100 books.”
My eyes suddenly flashed open. I was wide awake. “What?”
“Yeah,” he said, picking up the chair and moving it closer to the bed. He flicked on a dim light, just bright enough for him to read.
“What’s the book called?”
“Mesmerized,” he told me, “by Julia Crane.”
“I’ve never read one of her books before.”
“My mom picked it up a used bookstore somewhere in the city,” he told me, looking at the cover. It depicted a young girl with brown hair in a light pink gown flowing in the breeze. To be honest, it looked like one of the girlier books I’d read, so I hope Anthony could bear through it.
He began on the first page. “Chapter One,” he recited. “How could my parents send me away to boarding school?”
* * *
I woke up suddenly, realizing I must’ve fallen asleep while he was reading to me. My eyes darted to the chair, but Anthony was no longer there.
I sat up, frantic now, and noticed a figure in my peripheral vision. Anthony stood by the windowsill, observing something.
“What are you looking at?”
He whirled his head around to me. “Oh, you’re awake.” He smiled cutely. “You passed out around the end of the third chapter.”
“What are you looking at?” I repeated, and stood from my bed. I crossed in front of him and found an orchid in the windowsill, overlooking the court yard just a floor beneath us.
Its pink petals smiled up at me, basking in the sunlight.
My eyes blinked up to his. “How’d you know I love orchids?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t, to be completely honest. I just thought you deserved something nice. It reminded me of you, anyways.”
“How?” I asked, turning back to it. I prodded the stem between nimble fingers. “Scrawny and weak?”
“No,” he assured, placing either of his hands on my shoulders. “Smiling and beautiful.”
I have a chemistry lab report due tomorrow that I haven't started yet.
No, instead I'm on Witty giving you your second awful chapter. So you must give me feedback.
You must.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*
The vomiting. The weakness. The irritability. The weight loss. The fatigue. The nausea.
I rolled over in my bed, breathing deeply. I couldn’t throw up again.
The lights stayed off and the windows stayed shut. It was completely dark in my room, despite the fact that it was early afternoon everywhere else.
There was a knock on my door. “Come in,” I croaked, and looked up to find Anthony walking in, something in his hand.
Chemotherapy never seemed to affect him as much as it did me. Or, maybe he was just better at hiding it.
“What is that?”
He grinned down at what he held in his hand, then back up at me. “A book.”
I felt his lips press against my cheek. They were warm, gentle.
“A book for what?”
“For you,” he told me, sitting in the chair in the corner. “We’re going to get you to 100 books.”
My eyes suddenly flashed open. I was wide awake. “What?”
“Yeah,” he said, picking up the chair and moving it closer to the bed. He flicked on a dim light, just bright enough for him to read.
“What’s the book called?”
“Mesmerized,” he told me, “by Julia Crane.”
“I’ve never read one of her books before.”
“My mom picked it up a used bookstore somewhere in the city,” he told me, looking at the cover. It depicted a young girl with brown hair in a light pink gown flowing in the breeze. To be honest, it looked like one of the girlier books I’d read, so I hope Anthony could bear through it.
He began on the first page. “Chapter One,” he recited. “How could my parents send me away to boarding school?”
* * *
I woke up suddenly, realizing I must’ve fallen asleep while he was reading to me. My eyes darted to the chair, but Anthony was no longer there.
I sat up, frantic now, and noticed a figure in my peripheral vision. Anthony stood by the windowsill, observing something.
“What are you looking at?”
He whirled his head around to me. “Oh, you’re awake.” He smiled cutely. “You passed out around the end of the third chapter.”
“What are you looking at?” I repeated, and stood from my bed. I crossed in front of him and found an orchid in the windowsill, overlooking the court yard just a floor beneath us.
Its pink petals smiled up at me, basking in the sunlight.
My eyes blinked up to his. “How’d you know I love orchids?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t, to be completely honest. I just thought you deserved something nice. It reminded me of you, anyways.”
“How?” I asked, turning back to it. I prodded the stem between nimble fingers. “Scrawny and weak?”
“No,” he assured, placing either of his hands on my shoulders. “Smiling and beautiful.”
I have a chemistry lab report due tomorrow that I haven't started yet.
No, instead I'm on Witty giving you your second awful chapter. So you must give me feedback.
You must.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*