babyfaith325

So, I was in Biology class today (keep in mind I do cyber school) and my teacher sent out an email that she had sent out earlier again. I forgot the microphone was on and I just said in a really stupid, Faith like voice "Well, I think you already sent that. Why don't you go make better use of your time, eh?" Everybody got really quiet and I had to apologize. But it was worth it. Oh so worth it.

So there was this one time when I was at a party over my sister's house. It was just friends and sibings and cousins. No parents were there. I was the youngest one. They had on this awesome playlist and the song Beverly Hills by Wheezer cam on which is one of my favorite songs. And so I see this guy who is chilling in the corner mouthing the lyrics. We stare at each other for a few seconds then he walks over to me and we strart rocking out. I kid you not. It's on video. It is singlehandedly one of the most embrarasing things ever and yet one of themost awesome things ever. We weren't just singing though. We were dancing. Words can't describe how amazing it was....

He told me I was pretty and for the first time in my life, I believed him.

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

Curtain’s call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you've made

Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide  

If I follow you and you follow me, chances are I like you so feel free to ask for my number or twitter or anything like that.

So much has changed between us. I used to feel bad ending conversations. This is a quote from an actual conversation we had a few months ago: 
Me: "Okay, well I guess I will let you go."
Him: "No, you don't have to."
Me: "Well, I feel bad we are just talking about movies."
Him: "Please. Don't. I like talking to you."

I think I'm going to do it you guys. Everything has been really rough lately and I honestly don;t know if I can handle it anymore. High school sucks. I got something thrown at me the other day in fron tof half the school. I just can't do it. I feel like my life is crumbling in fron tof my eyes and I don't know how to re-build it. Who would want to be friends with the fat, ugly girl anyway, right? I would be doing everybody a service, right? 

Me: *send him the song Falling For You by Colbie Callet*
 
Him: Umm…
 
Me: Sorry, I just needed to tell you
 
Him: Can I talk to you in person about this? Like tomorrow?
 
Me: Sure.
 
Him: Unless you want to talk now.
 
Me: It's up to you. I'm good either way.
 
Him: No, no, no, it’s up to you.
 
Me: Could we talk now?
 
Him: Alright, if you want to.
 
Me: Okay.
 
Him: So where should I start?
 
Me: Wherever you would like.
 
Him: I really don’t know where to start though.  
 
Me: Ummm how about your reaction when you read it?
 
Him: Well…
 
Me: What? Please be completely honest with me.
 
Him: Ok honest you asked for it; Look Faith you're an awesome girl with a great sense of humor, I like that, And I'm being completely true when I say this that it hurts me just as much as it hurts you when I say that I don’t know if I'm as into you as you are to me… You might say you're fine with it but I know you're not Faith… I know you and I know the way you keep things inside to make sure you don’t hurt anybody else and I just want you to know you don’t need to do that with me. You can be completely honest with me. I know it hurts, so I just want to say I'm sorry.. I'm really truly sorry
 
Me: It's fine. I asked for the truth and the truth is what I got. I didn't want you to sugar coat it.
Just promise me one thing?
 
Him: Anything
 
Me: That we can still be friends and pretend this never happened. I don't want this to ruin our friendship.
 
Him: Don't worry it won't I swear to God
 
Me:  Thank you and I'm really sorry
 
Him: No, I’m sorry.
 
Me: It’s all good.  


So this is how the conversation went when I tried to tell the guy I liked that I liked him. He really is am amazing guy. You know, this is going to sound corney but as much as this hurt me, if this made him happy then I guess I am happy also.