Joined: December 4, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 246690

Hello person who decided to come to my profile.  I'm not really sure what to say... Well for starters, I like to post a lot of my favorite song lyrics.  I don't do quote formats, and most of my quotes I make up myself.  Some little things about me are I'm trying to become the person I want to be, just like everyone else on the planet.  I've had to go through many hard things that made me grow up faster than most people, so I'm very mature for my age.  My favorite color is black.  I like all types of music, except songs that are meaningless.  I prefer alternative rock though.  I'm sarcastic and have a very unique sense of humor.  You can't tell anything about my personality just by looking at me.  My mood is different everyday, but some feelings don't go away like anxiety, gulit, loneliness, and depression.  I'm up for talking to anyone about anything.  I strive for understanding, instead of being understood.  My little sister is my whole world.  I am a cutter, but you would never be able to tell.  If you have any questions I will gladly answer them.  Some people say I'm beautiful, but really, I'm just another face in the crowd.

Quotes by blood_shot_rose

It's not that I want to die
but if I did, I wouldn't really care

Go look in the m/i/r/r/o/r.
Did it break? No, because you're BEAUTIFUL
Go stand on the s/c/a/l/e.
Did it say error? No, because you're SKINNY
Look down at your p/h/o/n/e.
Are you alone? No, cause you HAVE ME

My shadows the only one who walks beside me

Music has just always been there for me. 
It can tell people the pain I'm experiencing without me opening my mouth. 
If you really want to get to know me, listen with me.

I'm just a small town girl
living in a lonely world

I just want to get my life story out since no one has ever heard it.  Purely a vent.

By the time I was five years old, I had thoughts of "It would just be easier if I wasn't here."
By six, the thoughts were still there, but they had gotten meaner.
At seven, was my first threat of suicide
By the time I was nine, I was thinking about it everyday.
By the age of ten, my first thought of cutting.
By eleven, was when the body image issues started.
By the age of twelve, I was restricting my diet, and it was getting harder and harder to resist the urges of not being here, and it was getting harder to not listen to the nasty comments by peers said to me.
By thirteen, I was back in therapy and diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression.  It was the first year I tore my skin open with a knife.  By that time, I was numb and all I could do was cry.  I never thought the pain of blood could be so sweet.
At the age of fourteen, I was a freshman in highschool.  I had lost all of my friends, and was being bullied.  People coming up to me in the middle of the hallway with all of my old friends surrounding them, and they would yell and call me mean names, and no one would say anything.  I stopped trying in school, and starting cutting more. And I was eating less and less.  By the middle of the year, my parents didn't know what to do with me and were largely considering institutionalizing me.
After that, I'm not sure how I'm still here.

his lips are
but he'll sting you like a bee

But maybe I didn't love you at all
Or maybe I loved you so much 
I refuse to believe you're gone

My first thought in the morning when I wake up is to

I used to be love drunk
but now I'm hung over
I love you forver
forever is over
we used to kiss all night
now it's just a bar fight
so don't call me crazy
how about a goodbye?