bluecat2113

Status:
Joined: September 29, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
Birthday: March 21
user id: 222378
Location: Knoxville,TN
Gender: F
Hi guys, I'm Ali. I'm 14 and I absolutely love scary movies and music. I love heavy metal and stuff like that. I pretty much like any kind of food, except for chocolate. I'm pretty weird and awkward, so people tend to avoid me. I've been battling depression and self-harm for a few years and I'm not a bad listener, so if any of you need someone, you can come to me.

Quotes by bluecat2113

Okay, you can just skip over this.
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been on lately. It's just lately I've felt so distant. Like the things I used to love and spend most of my time doing, I just don't like doing them anymore. Since I've been gone, I've been hearing these voices at night. Maybe it's just me going crazy, but I hope it's something that will take me away from here. Just know that whatever happens to from now on, I'll be okay. I'll be free.
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venting


Sorry for posting this, but I had to get this stuff off    my chest. You can just skip over it...
        I'm just over it. I'm done with all of Taylor's crap, the lies. You know everything, from the cutting to the suicidal thoughts , but you don't take it seriously. You think it's all a joke and I do it because I'm "forever alone." No, that's not why. You also think it's okay to make jokes about it to other people and continue to call me names. I thought I could trust you, but apparently not. I don't know who I can trust. 
                 Okay, so Kim. You have changed so much. You drag me to church every Wednesday and sometimes Sunday, even though I don't believe in that stuff. You always hit me and call me "stupid." Maybe it's just me, but I don't think friends are supposed to do that. You also dated my ex.  That sort of hurt, but I didn't tell you that. You have been my best friend since Kindergarten, and when Hayden told you I cut, all you said was "oh." Yeah, I would've at least thought you would've done something or said something other than that. Maybe that's just me.
                 Alright, now to Hayden. You remember outside when I told you about what Taylor and I were talking about? Yeah, well that hurt. A lot actually. I thought you cared. I hoped you did, if you really want the truth. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I have to trust you. Maybe I'm going crazy.



 
 
nmf




 
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Three days of being cut free, gone. Ruined. Just like that. 







 
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Your tears don't fall, they crash around me.

nmf/Tears Don't Fall- Bullet For My Valentine
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lyrics

In the car with my mom.


Mom: You act like your life sucks, but it doesn't. You get everything you want, you ungrateful child.
Me: Actually, life does suck. Every single day I wakeup and drag through the day wanting to die and feeling lonely. I get laughed at and picked on a lot, too. I'm struggling with my grades and get yelled at. I stay up late every night crying because I wish I could be pretty and skinny like everyone else around me, sometimes I stay up wishing I could die. I don't have any energy to do anything anymore, and all I want to do is sleep. I'm slowly being sucked into this vortex of sadness and loneliness, but you don't seem to care. So just because you buy me stuff when I ask for it, doesn't necessarily mean that I have the best life even and that I'm happy.












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Imagine 

having a really big spider as a pet that didn't jump or bite or do anything scary, just like a two-foot long spider that just sits there and follows you around like a puppy and speaks english and when it talks, it has a really deep voice andtalks ing a really agressive voice and rarely speaks, but when it does it only says helpful things like "yo, man there's balloons on sale in the next aisle for like 90% off" in it's really deep spider voice and it's just like really chill spider overall.
♥



 

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funny
 

  I'm scared of rejection.
 so I stop myself from doing things so I never have to be rejected.
  

 

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Suicide, beautiful thing isn't it though?

Such a beautiful way to leave.


Just ending it all, one cut too many, 


That's all it takes, 

 
one shot, one rope,one jump, 



Three words,

I give up.

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• click to see this quote •

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I just want it all to end.
I  just can't take it anymore. 




 
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