Joined: November 17, 2008
Last Seen: 8 years
user id: 58097
Brittany NicoleY
I'm 20
I'm a Sophmore at HCC studying criminal justice.
i Will be attending SCSU next fall!
I love to swim and run even though i am no longer
competative in them anymore
Dolphins are my favorite animal
Thank you Fan_Art_Freak38 for the fan art!

bmiest23's Favorite Quotes

time after time
 part #42


it had the familiar feeling, and i rememebered when coming here was such a safe harbor.  it still was, and i was eager to stop by, because i'd loved rob's family as well.  he had a younger sister and an older brother.  i parked in the street, and walked up to the door.  i stood there, debating for a second.  this was a stupid idea, what if they weren't home, or they didn't want to see me?  i didn't care, i decided, and i rang the doorbell.  a minute slowly passed, as i saw someone with red eyes peer through the window.  i offered a half smile, and she opened the door, and gave me the same half/broken smile.
"rachel?" she asked.  it was rob's mom.
"hi mrs. chase." i smiled, and she ran out to hug me.  she broke down in my arms.
"today's the day, isn't it?" she probably tried to reject the thought a thousand times in her head, just as i had.
"today's the day." i said, and started crying in her arms. she pulled away, and took a good look at me.  mr. chase walked by the door, and glanced outside to see why the door was open.  he looked at me, and couldn't believe his eyes.
"rachel?" he asked.
"hi mr. chase." i smiled.
"rob's rachel?"
"that's me." i smiled.  he always used to refer to me as rob's rachel, because rob was always with me, and always saying how i was his only and he didn't want to share. i smiled at the memory, and he gave me a huge hug.
"how are you doing sweetie?" he asked.
"i'm doing okay. how are you guys?" i asked.
"it's been rough." mrs. chase sighed.  "and worse since you had to move."
"i know." i said, and looked down.  "it's been really rough." i wiped the tear that was quickly falling down my face.
"do you want to come in?" she offered.
"if you don't mind." i smiled.
"sweetie, you are and always will be family.  you are always welcome to our home." she smiled, and let me inside.  i sat down at my normal chair in their kitchen.  it was eery how just a short year earlier, the scenery was different.  my own personal light made everything better.  it just seemed to dark. it seemed empty.
"it seems so different here." i commented.
"it's so empty." mrs. chase added, as she got me a glass of water.
"i just can't believe he's gone." i whispered, as they both sat down at the table. 
"i know." mr. chase began.  "it's been a year, and i still feel like he's going to walk through that door like he always did, with you by his side." my eyes started stinging.
"i miss him so much." i agreed, as i took a napkin and wiped my eyes.
"we know.  we're taking this hard, but it must be the same, or worse to you." mrs. chase said.
"it is so hard." i confirmed.  "i visited his spot today."  we said spot instead of grave, because grave was too serious for rob.  he would never have wanted us to say that when we were referring to him.
"we're going later." mr. chase said.  "alex just got out of the shower, we're waiting for nick to come home.  nick went to pennstate for college, he was probably coming home to see rob.
"i left another letter, and flowers." i said.  "you can read it."
"you wouldn't mind?" mrs. chase asked.
"of course not.  it'll probably explain things that are too tough to say outloud." i said, and took a sip of water.  i heard someone coming down the steps.  the steps were heavy and slow.  i saw blonde hair turn and stare right at me.
"rachel?" she asked.  alex was rob's younger sister, and she was a sophomore now.  she was only a freshman when rob died.
"hey al." i said, and stood up.  she ran over and gave me a hug.
"i miss you so much." she said, and i squeezed her tightly. 
"i miss you too." i said, and she started crying in my arms.
"it's empty because you're never here either." she laughed, as she wiped her eyes, and we sat down.
"i'm sorry.  i didn't mean to move.  i hate it there anyways." i said, and they all laughed.
"come live with us." she offered.  i laughed.  last year that question would've taken on a completely different meaning than it had now.
"my parents won't let me." i smiled. 
"ray, where are you going to college?" mrs. chase asked.  she was completely aware of the plan, because rob would talk endlessly about it.  his whole room was university of virginia stuff.
"i'm going to the university of virginia on a full lacrosse scholarship." i said proudly, and smiled.
"congratulations." she said, and she started to cry, because we all had predicted the same for rob.  mr. chase held her in his arms.
"i wish he was going with me." i whispered, and mr. chase nodded his head.
"he'll always be with you."
"i know." i smiled.  "and i'll never forget that." 

time after time
 part #41


i scribbled out on the top, "dear rob,"
"a lot has happened in this past year, and all of it's been without you.  i miss you baby so much, and each day i live through is one more day i get to spend with you up in heaven. you were the light of my life, and since then, i've been empty.  each day is a struggle without you here, and i miss you so much.  i like to pretend that you are still here with me, because it's easier to handle the pain.  don't worry baby, i haven't forgotten about our plan.  i'm heading out to university of virginia on august 24th.  i start training on november 17th, and i'll be playing, and you get to watch me the entire time baby.  we moved to a new house in dc, but baby i don't like it.  each thing i do i feel like you are becoming less and less with me, and i don't want to lose you baby.  i met the driver of that God-forsaken car, and rob i know what kind of person you are, but you have to forgive him.  you are one of the people who knows so well, such as i do, that people make mistakes, and mistakes that can't be changed.  i'm just so lucky that you got to me before i could hurt anyone else.  baby everyday i grieve for you, and so does zac.  he's a really good guy and he's honestly sorry.  i miss you so much baby.  i can't write anymore because as i'm sitting here, i want to scream, cry, and mainly be in your arms.  but to complete all of those things, it will be not be possible for a long time. but don't worry baby, i will never forget you.  i have a game tonight, and i know you'll be watching.  i guess i'll see you soon then.
i'll love you forever and a day,
rachel <3"
i was balling, and i tore the page out of the notebook. i had a box that was always next to his grave.  it was almost a little mailbox.  it should have a sign on top "messages to heaven." i sealed it with a kiss, and put it in.  i laid perpendicular to the grave, as if i was laying next to rob.  i spoke out loud , and told rob about everything that has happened this year.  i didn't care if anyone walked by.  about an hour later, i stood up, wiped my eyes, and kissed his headstone before i trudged to my car, lonely as ever.  i sat in the car, unsure of what to do.  i could get some breakfast or something, but i couldn't bring myself to eat.  i could visit some old friends, but i didn't have that many from this school.  rob was my main focus.  rob's family relocated with mine when we had to move to jersey, which was why he was buried here.  i met him in new york originally.  his family still lived here, and i knew where it was.  i floored it out it of the parking lot and found my way to his house. 

time after time
 part #40


"you okay?" he asked me.
"yea yea, i'm fine.  i looked up and saw jake reappear with megan, and all the guys started standing up.
"i think i have to go now." he said quietly in my ear.
"okay." i said, and continued to sit there.  i just heard a quiet giggle.
"oh right, i'm on top of you." i smiled, and jumped up. "sorry." i offered.
"no , no it was fine. i didn't mind." he winked, and i just laughed.
"alright, it was fun." noah said, putting his arm around cordin for support, "but we've gotta go.  we'll see you ladies tomorrow." he smiled, and cordin released noah's grip, and offered me a hug.
"what's tomorrow?" i asked.
"your lacrosse game." he smiled. my face slid into a mask of shock.
"please don't come.  i don't like when people watch me."
"well clearly you don't mind the university of virginia recruiters watching you."
"well people i care about.  and i didn't know they were at that game." i defended myself.
"well, alright.  let's pretend i'm not going tomorrow.  so you won't screw up." he smiled.
"we'll see." i said, and he hugged me, and they all left.  we all helped megan clean up, and we went into her room and all changed into pajamas.  they were gossipping about everything that happened tonight, but i just kept on drifting in and out of consciousness.
"so what's up with you and cordin?" sydney asked me.
"nothing really." i said, about to fall asleep.
"well it didn't look like nothing really when you were cuddling with him." kenna argued.
"i was cold." i argued. "and he's still going out with his girlfriend." i said.
"no they broke up yesterday." nikki argued.
"he said they'll probably be back again tomorrow." i returned.
"not after tonight with you." nikki giggled, and i didn't have anything to say. "speechless huh?"
"i'm just tired, and i have to get up early tomorrow morning." i said.
"why?" megan asked.
"game day." was all i said.  none of them played lacrosse so this was a good enough explanation.  the game wasn't until 7 at night, but i had to run errands in the morning. i just listened to their chatter until i drifted into unconsciousness.  i relived the horrible nightmare again, as my dream was the day of the accident, and i awoke with a start at 7:37.  i picked up my stuff, changed into soffees and a tshirt, and walked out of the house.  i jumped in my car, stopped at wawa to get gas, and hopped on i-95, and relaxed.  i knew where i was going, and wasn't going to stop until i got there.  i opened my visor at the top of the car, and a picture dropped onto my laps.  i picked it up, and saw a picture of rob and i laying on the beach, with me in his arms, similar to how cordin was holding me last night.  i started to tear up, and checked my phone.  it was eight o'clock on may 29th.  the worst day of the year. 
it was the day that rob died.
i started balling, and cleared my eyes so i wouldn't get into an accident.  it was only a forty minute drive, but i had to go to visit him.  it only seemed right.  dammnit i forgot flowers.  i'll pick some up when i get in jersey.  the time flew by, and i was already in new jersey.  i got to the cemetary in no time, and i bought a heart-shaped flower piece.  the sun was shining, and it was only about seventy degrees.  rob's favorite weather. i told the security guard who i was going to see, and i parked.  i got out his flowers, a notebook and pen, and walked through the cemetary.  his grave was the third one to the east of the tallest tree in the whole place.  it was eerily empty here, and it became more empty as i came onto the grave that didn't belong.
"ROBERT CHASE" it had inscribed at the top
"february 8th, 1993-may 29th, 2009" i started balling, and my knees buckled, and i was kneeling in front of his grave, holding onto it for support.
"rob" i whispered. "why did you have to leave me?" i sat back on my heels, and picked up his heart flower.  i put it right next to his grave.  i picked up the notebook and pen.  i flipped to the next clean page, and spilled my heart. 

time after time
 part #39
[commments would bee more than GREATLY appreciated (: ]



"well do you want me to go first?" he asked.
"i really don't care.  ask me all the questions you want." i said.
"okay. first, what's your favorite color?" he asked.
"that's the first question you're asking me?" i asked.
"i'm getting there.  i'm starting off easy lax chick." he smiled and winked at me.
"well if you want me to answer any more questions, you'll stop calling me lax chick." i said.
"alright rachel boyd.  what is your favorite color?"
"hmm, orange, and then probably blue. what about you?"
"i'm more of a green person, but blue and orange are legit." he said.
"yep." i said, and stared into the fire.  he was quiet for a long time.  out of character for him.
"what, that's it? you're done 20 questions?" i asked.
"yea, for now."  he smiled.  "i'll ask you one question a day, and you can do the same for me, if you want." he said.
"sounds good, for now." i smiled, and then i shivered.
"cold?" he asked.
"i'm fine." i said.
"i have the perfect thing for getting warm." he said.
"what would that be?" i asked, and he just patted his laps.
"nope." i said, and i stood up and put my hands out towards the fire.
"yep!" he said, and grabbed my hips, and i ended up on his laps.  he was warm, which i wasn't going to lie.
"you are really warm." i said, and he hugged my shoulders.
"get comfy, and feel free to stay a while." i said, and i readjusted myself so that my head was right under his chin.
"that's better." he said, and i was comfortable.  i was drifting off into sleep, but i didn't want to in the arms of a stranger.  he seemed like a good guy though, so i drifted into sleep.
when i woke up, i was in rob's arms, and i was crying.
"shhh, shhhh." he said, calming me, and stroking my arm. this scene seemed entirely too familiar to me.
"we'll be okay." he said, and kissed my head.  i think it was the anniversary of melanie's death.  he grabbed my chin, and looked me straight in the eyes.
"rachel, i think i'm in love with you." he said, and smiled. it was almost impossible not to smile back at him.
"rob, you're just saying that to make me feel better." he already was shaking his head.
"rachel." he said, almost giggling. "when i say, “i love you”, it’s not because i want you or because i can’t have you. it has nothing to do with me. i love what you are, what you do, how you try. i've seen your kindness and strength. i've seen the best and worst of you. and i understand with perfect clarity exactly what and who you are."
"rob." i said, in tears again. i smiled when i said, "i think i'm in love with you too." and i awoke to a start in cordin's arms.

** author's note :: sorrrry it's short ! i'm tired and waiting for a creative breakthrough !**





I C E        CREAM
{INSPIR                --ATION}
HOB       BIES
EXPLOR               -ATION
CA          KE
LYRICS              THAT

FORT             UNES
CAN           DLES
FRESH                 BAKED
  FRI}       {ENDS
HAPPY              ENDINGS
CATCHY         //TUNES
GO    OD

time after time
 part #36
[commments would bee more than GREATLY appreciated (: ]

"hey meg." i said, as we were walking out.
"you know that zac kid?"
"yea why?"
"why isn't he invited?" i asked, playing the new girl card and trying to act all innocent.
"well, he was with sydney, but they just had a rough breakup because he was with someone from another school.  we don't talk to him that much.  why?"
"just wondering." i said, and tucked that information away to be asked about later. we all stood in a circle waiting for the guys who played in the game to come out. they all seemed to come out at the same time.  i couldn't tell you the guys by name, but noah, logan, cordin, and jake all came up, and we all said to meet at megan's house.  all the girls drove in my car, because sydney's mom dropped off sydney and nikki together.  we all ran upstairs to get in our bathing suits.  i was wearing an aquamarine blue bathing suit with a rhinestone black pattern on my left boob and a matching pattern onto the bottom. 
"ceee-ute!" megan shouted.  she was wearing a tie-dye bikini.  i looked over and nikki was tying sydney's black top with her neon pink bottoms, while she was wearing a bandeau pink patterned top with matching bottoms.  all of a sudden someone was knocking on the door and it sounded like it was going to break.
"what?" megan asked, and we all laughed when we saw kenna standing on the other side of the door.
"let me in !" she said, and ran into the bathroom.  we all looked at each other and started dying, and in about two seconds she was back in the room in a plain black bathing suit.
"how was dinner?" nikki asked.
"fine. they're all waiting." she informed us, and we all ran downstairs to see the guys sitting around the table.  we all walked down, and made a big circle.
"alright for rach, just a reminder, this is" and she went around and pointed. "noah, logan, jake, mack, and cordin." noah looked about 6'1'' and he had light blonde hair, with a bunch of freckles.  he was built like your typical football player.  logan was his same height, just not as muscular.  obviously why i figured he wasn't playing in the lacrosse game. jake had the lax flow going, with the wavy long brown hair, lax pinney and shorts.  he was a good inch or two taller than logan and noah, but he was muscular like noah.  mack was the shortest of them all, probably standing at 5'10'' at most.  he had a dark brown buzz cut, and he was jacked.  more muscular than all of them combined.  and the last one was cordin.  he was cute, he had long blonde hair, like jake's but blonde.  he was proabably 6 foot even, and he had the nicest blue eyes ever.  he had a hat that was on slightly backwards as a joke, but he was working it. 
"i'm rachel,"
"hey rachel." they all said in deep voiced unison.  we were all just talking about the game when out of nowhere mack runs and picks up kenna and jumps in the pool with her in.  she was tiny.  probably only 5'4'' and she was just as petite as sydney.  we all laughed , and we ended up jumping in the pool together. we had a volleyball game which consister of teams of megan, jake, cordin, noah, and me against sydney, kenna, mack, nikki, and logan.  after a little while of that, we played biddle in partners.  strangely enough, cordin volunteered to be partners with me, which i happened to be pretty excited about as well.  it was him and me, megan and jake, sydney and logan, nikki and noah, and kenna and mack.  cordin and i ended up coming in second when we played first to 21, and megan's parents put a fire on in the pit for us.  we all toasted marshmellows, except for me.  i just munched on graham crackers as i watched everyone else.  i sat in between cordin and megan, but megan wasn't talking too much as to all her focus was on jake.
"so rachel, from what i hear, you play lacrosse?"
"yea i do." i smiled.  his eyes were dead on mine, rendering me speechless.
"what position?"
"hmm, well i like low attack.  but i can play some middie too." i said.
"well what a coincedence.  same." he laughed, i was honestly shocked.
"where did you move here from?" he asked.  here we go, another round of questions i've answered too many times.
"i used to live in new jersey.  my dad's in the navy, so we move around a lot."
"oh wow, how many times have you moved?"
"since when?" i asked with a smiled on my face.
"well how about in your whole life." he smiled.
"this was the 14th time." i said.
"oh wow, that's gotta be real tough."
"you just learn to get over it.  don't make too many friends and it's not as bad." he just looked at me.
"what?" i asked.
"that must get lonely."
"i've never minded that so much." i said, and looked down.
"want a marshmellow?" he asked, and i laughed. "i'm not gonna lie i have some pretty experienced marshmellow making skills." i felt like i just kept getting punched in the stomach.
"no thanks." i said, and glanced up at him, and he looked at me with concern. "i'm allergic." i lied.
"what could possibly be in marshmellows that could make you sick." my heart screamed "the memories in them."
"i'm not sure, i just haven't liked them since i was little." i said, and he just laughed.
"whatever lax chick." he said to himself, and started making himself a s'more. 
This quote does not exist.
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