Never let someone be the reason for your death. Never allow someone to make you consider killing yourself. You are the most valuable person to yourself. You do not need to depend on anyone's love for you for your own happiness. Life is breathtaking when you are in love with yourself. To have a person is something that should come after. And even so, that person should not dictate your happiness. I think if you are really ready for such an emotional relationship, you will realize that that person only serves to add more happiness than you thought possible. They shouldn't be bringing you down so hard like this. Please consider getting away from them as soon as possible if they are causing you to feel depressed and suicidal. It's a sign.