camdenicole

Dieting Tip #1

DON'T reward yourself with food.

You are not a dog.

me: hey hot stuff
me: *eats pizza*

hold a girl and tell her she's beautiful.

if she growls, go a safe distance away and throw chocolate at her.

 

     
     



       I win.




      Sincerely, Spongebob. 
    
 
 
 

        
 
       



 

      



              
          
               

         

 
          
 

Nutella: the smokeless spreadable crack

*Cop pulls me over*
Cop: your eyes look red. Have you been smoking weed?
Me: your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?

I couldn't remember the word best man, so I just said "Male of Honor."

REASONS WHY PERIODS SUCK.
1. After sitting down for a while, you stand up & suddenly it feels like freaking Niagra Falls.
2. You want to hit everyone...In the face...With a tree.
3. You cry so much for random stupid reasons.
4. You crave random food, that you don't own.
5. When someone corrects you, you feel like shoving a tree down their throat.
6. When you lose at something, you scream "SCREW THIS" and walk away really angry.
7. You fall asleep...When you're not even TIRED.
8. You feel like you want to just stab yourself 600 times in "that" area.
9. You want to just shove a freaking towel up "that" area.
10. NO white pants/skirts/undies that week.
11. Remember that cute pair of undies you got? Runied. For. Life.
12. Everybody is annoying, not matter WHAT they do, or say.
13. When you DON'T get to go to the bathroom, because your teacher says no you want to scream in their face, and say "I'M ON MY FUKING PERIOD OKAY?".
14. Boys are 10x more annoying.
15. Those stupid- Pad/tampon commercials that have all those girls who are HAPPY when they get their periods, make you annoyed.
16. Chocolate and ice cream are your best friends.
17. The cramps you get feel like your being punched in the stomach 8 times.
18. When you think you're finally done you take off the tampons/pads.....5 minutes later you check. Not done, not done at all.
19. You don't care about anything BUT food.
20. You wish you weren't a girl.
21. When you wake up in the morning, and go to the bathroom, and your toilet looks like a freaking bowl of Hawaiian Punch.

Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents
Police: Where does your parents live?
Me: Together
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbors house
Police: Where is your neighbors house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me
Police: Tell me
Me: Next to my house