chasingsunshine

Status: smile, it's free!
Joined: February 2, 2013
Last Seen: 4 years
user id: 348785
Location: eating peanut butter m&ms with ed
Gender: F

Welcome to my profile

adrenaline junkie. bus rider. coffee drinker. dreamer. eccedentesiast. fantasiser. giggler. hopeful. insecure. jelly slurper. klutz. lost. map reader. naive. observer. perfectionist. quirky. rain dancer. sigher. truster. underachiever. vulnerable. weirdo. xenial. yawner. zany.
me.

 

Quotes by chasingsunshine


you know when you have a fly in your room 
and it can't get oout of the window 
even though it is clearly open 
when it keeps throwing itself at the glass 
as if to break it 
but doesn't realise 
there is an opening just below 
that's us.
we are the flies 
trapped in the rooms 
trying to force our way out of the box 
but not realising 
there is a perfectly simple way through

-rv


3.14am 
this is the time 
when you would usually call me 
we would be texting 
and suddenly 
completely out of the blue 
your name would pop up 
on my screen 
and my phone would start
silently buzzing 
and you will never know 
the rush i got from that
you will never know 
how my heart leaped
and my stomach flipped 
because those phone conversations 
at 3.14am 
those were what i lived for 
those whispered conversations 
those times when i would hear
the smile in your voice 
and your exhaustion seeping through 
and the line would crackle just slightly
as you laughed silently 
those were the moments i lived for 
and now that they don't exist anymore
now that i stay up every night 
until 3.14am
alone
without your phone conversations 
what do i have to live for now?

-rv


what would you do 
if i told you 
i cut myself 
and 
i cry myself to sleep 
and 
my 11:11 wish 
is to die 
what would you do?
a naive part of me 
hopes you would care 
but the realist in me 
knows 
you would just run away

-rv


it's different 
when you say 
'i love you'
these days 
now that i know 
you don't mean it

-rv


if suicide is cowardly 
then what is living?
living because you're not brave enough
to kill yourself 
surely 
that's the biggest form 
of cowardice 
that's me 
too much of a coward 
to even be cowardly 
not brave enough 
to be weak

-rv


i want to hurt him 
for hurting me 
but i can't 
so i just end up 
hurting myself 
instead

-rv


all my life 
people have told me 
that i would find
the one 
someone who loves me 
and respects me 
unconditionally 
i believed them 
i was patient
and one day 
i found you 
you loved me 
and respected me 
unconditionally 
and you did everything right 
you were perfect 
but i still couldn't love you
i wish i could 
but i couldn't
and i hated myself for that
because you deserve to be loved 
the way you loved me

-rv


when i look at him 
i see the boy who hurt me 
who left me 
without a goodbye 
who didn't trust me 
and who didn't love me at all 

when i look at you
i see the boy 
who was always there for me 
who wiped away my tears 
without asking any questions 
who stood by me through everything 
and who loved me more than anything 

so why is it i still want him?

-rv


i think about him all the time 
i think about him when i'm doing the most menial household chores 
and when i'm having the best time of my life 
i think about him before i sleep every night 
and when i wake up first thing in the morning 
i think about him subconsciously 
and i think about him voluntarily 
i am always thinking about him 
i can't escape him 
even if i wanted to 
(i don't want to)

-rv


i'm sad 
and 
i don't know 
how to make 
the pain go away 
and all i want 
is to be whole again 
is that too much to ask for?

-rv