dailyentries

Status:
Joined: September 13, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
Birthday: March 29
user id: 330486
Gender: F



Hey there.

Quotes by dailyentries




All love ever does is

BREAK,

BURN,

& end...



 



And I cry at home,
All what I contain myself at school
Everyday






and the truth is,

Why in thworld would he lovme?
When there's a bunch of other girls who like you
who might be funner, prettier and just  b e t t e r than I am?
It makes me laugh. 


What was on my mind when I actually believed you had feelings for me?

I'm tired of tears, tired of it all. 
I want to get over him, but I just don't want him out of my life.

So yup, this is a chat from a while ago I had with Matthew. (before this I saw on the home page of FB that he had accepted a request, but still didn't even read what I texted him...) :

Me:
Ouch
Thanks matthew talk to you later  about an hour ago

Him:
Don't be sad:(:(   58 minutes ago

Me:
I just saw
That you have just accepted someone else's request..
You know if you don't wanna talk to me just tell me you're busy or something but please don't keep me waiting here it hurts
Cmon.. please   20 minutes ago

Him:
Don't be sad you know i care about you,right now i'm stressed of some work i have to do talk to you tomorrow okay please? :* 19 minutes ago

Me:
what?
what was that?
what
you dont wanna talk to me do you?  17 minutes ago

Me:
u just did what i said   2 minutes ago


and im sure he's not gonna answer. what do i do please help me ...im crying is it okay to cry because of that? is it? please tell me im so sad what should i do? i believe him? should i call him? i need him.. funny thing he has no idea how miserable i feel right know 

Dear Matthew,

Did you know I anxiously wait every minute that passes by for you to text me back?

Did you know it really hurts that you, in despite of having a Blackberry with mobile internet you can't even read what I freaking text you?

Do you know how worthless that makes me feel?

Like you just don't give a sh*t about me.

Do you know that it makes me crazy how I can't even tell you this? Because you would say something like, "Stop acting that way, it bothers me" It would just break me down into pieces reading that again.

Now, can you understand


You've got me with my back against the wall...

One Day I'll Find You - Poema

I like boys that like to smile
Laugh at themselves once in awhile
That can sit and talk for hours
Then in the morning pick me flowers
Boys that like to be very clean
That are never ever, ever mean
And can tell a witty joke
Boys that do not like to smoke.

One day I'll find you

I like boys that aren't afraid of bugs,
That will always give me big warm hugs
Like to sing and play guitar,
That are happy being who they are
Boys that like to be outside
And that aren't full of pride
Boys that have an honest passion
with at least a slight hint of fashion.

One day I'll find you

I like that boys that are funny and artistic,
That are mostly optimistic
Boys that are not very lazy,
A little weird but not too crazy
Boys that arent afraid to cry,
And will always give a second try
And will try to do they're best,
I want a boy not like the rest

One day I'll find you 


*I once thought I've had found him but I was wrong. He isn't many of the things listed there*

  &It makes me so happy
   That even though we're not a couple anymore, 


 We can still talk to each other                                                           
                                 like best friends 


09-16-12,

Sunday.


So today I woke up early, like 7 in the morning. I went out with my family and my step-brother Camilo, who visited us yesterday from another country where he lives. I haven't seen him in a while, almost 2 years, I think. 

It was fun, to distract my head for a while, we ate at a nice restaurant, went to visit some places from my city, but... still, it's difficult to get him out of my head. The worst part is that I know he never ever thinks about me that much. 

I got back home at like 4 or 5pm, and I start studying for a test tomorrow for a while. I talked with Matthew occassionally, I mean he texts me, and then I answer him late, and then he does too... etc. And I don't know, that's all about it.

I was thinking about how much times would be spend together this week. I don't really want to ask him to spend lunch or something together I will wait for HIM to do that. I don't know but I always feel like I'm just a waste of time for him. So yeah, whatever, I will not ask him once, now, let's see if he asks me. 

Anywayyy... At night like 8pm we talked via facebook and we had a little very little argue. It made me cry anyways... Yeah I'm really soft and even more when it comes about Matthew. But we got along really fast and that made me happy.:) I start to think that swallowing my pain and just shutting up is the best option so we can go well.

So, We bothered each other kind of like good old days when we were just best friends, and somehow it made me really happy. But I obviously still miss ALOT being his only girl... Like romanticly. But I know I'm kind off special for him, I'm not just one more of his female friends.

But still I really would like him to notice me more at school, you know, at least wave at me everytime he sees me, cause, to talk to me everytime he sees me, that's just ask TOO MUCH. But either way, That would make me really happy.

I dont know.. I really have a bad feeling for this week. Hopefully my thoughts are wrong this time.