This is plain.This is real.This is how i feel and if you don't read it i don't care but i need this.This isn't made to be pretty to make other people wanna read it this is for me because i have no other way to really say what i feel.I'm tired...so so tired.mentally and physically.I drop into these crazy mood swings i can't control.My emotions are so much more intense.The littlest things i used to let go of easily get to me and push me off the edge. I started hurting myself i've been trying so hard to control my anger. And then i drop into this depression mode and i feel like i want to die.I want to be anywhere but here.Anyone but me.My friends turn out to be fakes and liars.Everyone here is fake.I don't like people.I trust no one.My own parents criticize and judge everything i say and do.It gets so hard for me to get out of bed i cry sometimes...what's the point of getting up? to do deal with the same bs all over again. And i'm not good enough.I'm not pretty enough and no matter how hard i try in school i can't get the good grades everyone expects me to get.I feel dumb.useless.helpless.I struggle to smile.I can't even see the one person i love more than anything a trusts because i'm treated like a prisoner in my own home so i spend a lot of lonely nights trying not to cry.I know i don't have the worst life in the world but i hate my life.I'm not strong enough to fight this dead feeling.Everything just kind of goes by in slow motion and i struggle to get through a day without breaking down.I feel hollow...as if i don't have a soul. And i want to be happy again.More than anything...I'm desperate to just be happy and not be so lonely anymore.so you don't have to read this. this is just me venting about my life and how miserable i am at the moment because no one else is really there to listen but one person that actually cares.but i needed another way to vent. so if you read this thanks for reading.just needed to get some things off my chest.