deadnotsleeping

Today started out really well... me and my friends started Insanity, went swimming and ate brownies. When I got home, I cleaned my room. Apparenty I didn't clean it right. Then my cat peed on the couch. When my dad got home, he yelled at me for not cleaning the cushion... I don't know how to wash a couch cushion. Why the hell would I? I'm 16 years old. And apparently I'm not allowed to have a life until after my brother's graduation party. Who knows why... The house is almost clean. We have one more room to clean and then we have to put up decorations in THREE days. I don't see why I can't take a day to myself tomorrow... It's a day with my GIRLSCOUT troop. Whatever. Just keep yelling at me. I don't care anymore.

Alright.... thanks Dad... for oh I dont know... eating my left over dinner from last night!
We barely have any food in the house to begin with and the one time we have leftovers, you eat mine?
No cool... its fine... I'll just starve...
Oh wait a second... stale popcorn from when my sister went to the movies 4 or 5 days ago... I'll eat that instead...
When you asked why I was eating stale popcorn, I told you I was hungry and we didnt have any food. What was your answer?   "Your brother and sister found something to eat."
"Because I let them! My brother ate the last of the leftover soup in the fridge! And my sister made the last Ramen Noodle package we had. So what am I supposed eat? Cat food?
(That actually sounds much more appealing when you're hungry and there is no food in the house...)

So yeah... thanks for always remembering to feed ALL your children, Dad.

Your Daughter,
Caitlin

I walked downstairs about a half hour ago and told my dad I was hungry and asked what was for dinner. 
He told me "I don't know. I didn't make anything." I shrugged and went to find something to eat... we don't have anything to eat in my house. I asked my dad if there was anything to eat. His reply. "No." So I when I asked if we could order out to eat something he didnt answer... Looks like I'm not eating tonight... we only have one package of Ramen Noodles left. I gave it to my little sister... Its more important that she eat. My brother went out to Burger King with his friends. I have my license but... the money I have I need for gas...

I promise, I’m not okay...

So I get home from a great day with my friends, just to come home and get yelled at by my dad.
He asked me to take the trash out because my brother is in Germany for the week. So i just did what my brother always does. I cleaned the cat litter and got the two bathroom trash bags and put it in the kitchen trash barrel. I went to bring the bag outside and my dad yelled at me for taking the kitchen trash bag out. He never told me not too. I was just doing what I saw my big brother do on trash night. In my dad's eyes, I just can't seem to do anything right. Not even something simple like taking the trash out.

Why do I continue to try?

I'm done with people.

Okay Witty girls, let's play a game ...
1.) Favourite [♥] this quote (So more people can see).
2.) Copy this quote, add your username to the list below, and post it.
3.) Then, look at the person above you and find their profile. Read their description of themselves, possibly follow them, then post a comment on their profile saying something nice about them.
4.) The next person that adds their name below you should post a compliment on your profile.
 

1. SocietyIsScrewingMeUp ♥
2. JustinBieber2702 <3
3.live_love_softball22♥♥
4. lexiiiielovesyou ♥♥♥
5. foreverme1331
6. deadnotsleeping
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...I haven't talked to you in almost a month...
I don't know if we're still friends... let alone best friends...
The sad part? I still love you. What's sadder? You know that.
You make fun of me for liking you.
You take it as some kind of stupid little joke.
Why can't you realize that it's not a joke! I love you! We've been through so much together!
You know every little detail about me! I can't hide anything from you.
So why are you ignoring me? You don't answer my texts. You don't even notice me in the hallways anymore.
To tell you the truth... I don't know why I'm still trying.
I miss you so much.
I just don't want to wait anymore...
But I know, as soon as you need something from me, I will come when ever you call. Day or night.
You know that too.
I think you enjoy having me around just because I will do ANYTHING for you.
Sometimes I think I'm just a replacement for HER.
You'd tell me all the time that I remind you of her. We have a similar personality. And we both love you.
Excpet she had you. And you live in the past.
You use me because I remind you so much of her. 
So I don't really know why I'm still around. I really don't.
I don't know if I want to be around anymore.
Even though as soon as I think you aren't coming back into my life, you swoop in like we never stopped talking in the first place.
I can't wait forever...but I feel like will... because it's YOU.
Sometimes I wish I never became your friend... But I know that's a lie.
I probably wouldn't be here if you weren't there for me. I probably would have killed myself long ago.

I wonder how much longer I will wait for you...
...knowing me, probably forever.