deck

Status:
Joined: May 30, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 303943
Gender: M

Cleaned my slate, I'm depressed, I have confidence issues, I hate myself. No point wiriting about it, all it does is cause pain. I've attempted suicide 15 times .Been cheated on.Hate myself.Have a fear of turning into a monster.Sadly I haveMy names Declan, call me Deck. I'm 18 and I'm on the edge. If I leave I plan to go helping as many others as possible.I've hurt the girl I love, Liv. I just wish I was better, stronger, more perfect. But that's not the case


heyy ma homies its liv (i_will_awake_down_the_line)
well there is so much i can say about decran here :3
deck is one of the closest people to me
he seriously knows everything about me...which is scary because im weird and im suprised that you dont pay me out :p im glad you dont though :)
sooooo
deck is like the sweetest guy like EVER :D
you guys should talk to him because he is amazing
deck is so strong and its amazing that he is still alive and still pushes forward
sadly me and deck recentally split up
so he isnt mine anymore :'(
BUT
he still totally owns my heart
i love him so much
like deck i love you so much
but
im so glad that your getting happy :)
i wouldnt be suprised if every girl started hitting on you and wanted you
when you get a girlfriend im going to be so happy for you :)
because you will be happy
and like i said the first time we started talking, your like the brother i always wanted
so ill always be around :D
unless thats weird :p
byyyyyeeeeeee yallllll :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7W0xJ5YqSM 
^^ epic song that always makes me think of how i feel for this boii ^.^
xxx

Comments by deck

deck 1 decade ago to lovelife23
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I'm trying :/
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deck 1 decade ago to lovelife23
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I'm thing but its so hard :/
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deck 1 decade ago to lovelife23
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It's okay, noone really can, I'm just up and doomed to die x
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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Vent to me anytime x
I'm here
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deck 1 decade ago to lovelife23
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Thank you, it's just. I'm so broken without her, and she was what made me happy and kept me alive and without her I'm just dead
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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Yeah Mariah < 3 ?
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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I understand that x
I'm here if you need me you know that yeah?
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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Hey gorgeous, please smile x
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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Mariah I an worrying :(( you mean so much to me please tell me
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deck 1 decade ago to lovelife23
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I won't, I just wanna die.
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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If you think your fat then I'm a whale..

Why do you ask?
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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:(( I wish I could make you smile im sorry I'm always down, and don't worry I fake allot of it too. Tbh I just am not coping anymore
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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You are skinny

Yeah I did Skype Liv. We chatted for a while
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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Hey, I don't know your name, but you have done allot more then most people have. Trust me, when I sent that last message I was in a terrible place, I'm a bit better. Now but I miss the love of my life so much. I wanna be able to hold her again. To just spend eternity with her :'(

And I can't
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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I do too :/

And idk :/ u don't remember
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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Don't be sorry okay < 3

It's not your fault that I'm where I am. It's the fact I lost Liv and now I just, can't go on without her. I'm trying to hold back all the pain, and the suicide attempts and the cutting but it's not working, I'm breaking and I just.

I miss the girl I gave my heart to. I miss the girl I nearly made love with. I miss my world.

She's my everything and without her I'm nothing.
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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I know you went to hospital again Mariah :/ taking laxitives and has to stop.

That's one of the reasons I'm hurting. Secondly I just, I'm so screwed up after Liv left. I just remembered something and its made it horrible again.
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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I feel terrible, I wanna die
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deck 1 decade ago to the_story_left_untold
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I miss you
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deck 1 decade ago to AlpacaPerson
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It's not your fault. I'm just fuckedddfdf up behind recognition
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