delirant

Theres so much I wish I could say, but I can never get out...but I guess I can try. I'm just a normal teenage girl I guess. I'm 14 years old, going into highschool, I have a crush, a dream, loving parents, close family. What else could I want? That's the one odd thing I don't understand...I dont know why I'm not happy. I think of my life as an ongoing story, the rest is still unwritten and it scares me to death to not know what is going to come next. I'm stress over my future and my goals. I want to go to an Ivy League school and write a book and get a wonderful job and make a lot of money. It scares me to know that I could fail at my goals, when I want them so bad.

I was in love with this boy. We were best friends for a while. Flirted for a while. Hooked up for a while. But I was never allowed to tell anyone at school. I was his secret. I still love him though. But we don't go to the same school anymore. He never texts me anymore. I miss him so much. It kills me so much. 

I lost my brother about a year ago. I miss him more than anything. 

I guess you could say I'm a nerd. I'm a little obesessive with reading, I'm a total grammar nazi, and I take summer school for fun. Weird right?

I don't have many friends. Well, actually I don't have any friends...except for my best friend Alyssa. I swear I wouldn't be the same without her, she brings out the absolute best in me and makes me happy. In the four years of friendship we haven't had one fight, she is literally my sister I don't know what I would do without her.

My mom is my other best friend. She is super goofy and is so fun to be around and I love her more than the world. She supports every single thing I do and encourages me to shoot for the stars. I have absolutely positively no idea where I would be without her. My world would be shattered and blank without her by my side at all times.

I dont know what's wrong with me but it's so difficult for me to make friends and express myself. I am unbelievably anti-social, I want to meet new people but I just hate doing it. I have some odd notion that other people are better than me and it makes me unbelievably nervous to talk to them. When I do, though, I end up sounding absolutely weird and ridiculous because of how nervous I am. 

Boys come and go. I have never really had a serious boyfriend. I've kissed a few, dissed a few, been dumped. But what does it matter, they all end up leaving me too and not thinking twice about it. 

For once in my life I just want to be accepted for everything I am. I want others to see me, see past my exterior and see who I am inside. My entire life I have been judged by how I look, why can't someone just see everything I have to offer.

I love France and French things. I love to speak in French. Go to France. Anything French and I'm in!:) It's not exaclty just a like, but a passion*. That's the only way to describe it, I'm just passionate about French. I believe that would be enough on that subject.

My house is the only place where I feel good and warm inside. It's filled with everything I love. Books line the walls (my mom loves reading). My home is where my favorite people reside. It always smells like whatever is cooking. There is always the noise of someone talking or laughing. I always choose to stay home than go somewhere, it makes me feel good and comfortable to be home.

I'm a major perfectionist. I can't go to school without ever hair in place perfectly and all my makeup perfect. I am starting to get more comfortable with my body though.

Writing is another passion of mine. I love it more than words can explain. Thats all:)

My favorite band is Weezer and I love them oh so much. If you don't know them, they're a 90's band. You probably know the song "Beverly Hills" ya, thats them! They are truly amazing, please check them out

If you're reading all the way down to here, you're amazing♥

My favorite color is pink. I have no idea why it's my favorite color but when I look at it, it makes me happy:)

I love my cat! Nuff said!:)

I hate text talk, aka {wen ppl tlk lyk dis}. Like I said way above, I'm a grammar and spelling nazi. I also hate when people aadd extraa letterss tooo theirr wordsss. I believe in typing with class and with proper english.

That is all I can think of at the moment, I'll add more when I am not so lazy:)

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Hello Beautiful!
The names Emily
I am single and ready to mingle;*
My lucky number is 11
I blow out the candles June 5th
I love France, and anything that is French
My favorite song at the moment is Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift
Im a pretty quiet person, unless I get to know you
WEEEOOO FOR HIGHSCHOOL NEXT YEAR!
Im the type to wear a fake smile more than a real one
I try to act happy, to make everyone around me happy too
It takes a lot for me to open up to someone
Theres only 1 person that knows everything about me
And her name is Alyssa♥
I dont think I could survive on this earth without her.


"When you miss someone theres nothing you can do but pray they come back someday"


 

A little Extra;
 
              Me                          Me ...again!:D               Me and my sister kate

I'm getting sick of your bullshit attitude
And how you walk around like you shine brighter, it's killing me.