*Guy I was texting yesterday
night* Him: What are you doing now? Me: Nothing just laying in bed Him: mmm can I see a hot pic of you now?;) Me: But it's dark.. Him: It's alright! just show me. Me: Ok then...*Sends a pitch black message
box*
Cop: "Did
you kill this man?" Suspect: "No, a bullet killed
him.Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground.The
ground is part of nature.
He died of natural causes.Case closed."
*Me when I was done eating
ben and jerry's today*
*puts the empty ben and jerry cup in the sink*
*throws metal spoon in the bin* 2 seconds later.. Me: Wtf did i just do??
*Me trying to avoid texting
someone* Me: hey listen sorry can't chat for any longer
gotta go for a run! Him: oh okay! have a good run ttyl :) Me: ok thanks ttyl! *plays temple run
instead*