diary_of_a_suicidal_boy

January 11th, 2012; 6:47 AM

Another  day in hell. Maybe I'll come to school bleeding from all the scars and see if anyone

even notices me more than they did before. I am doing a project. I will write everyones name

who hurt me on my body in black sharpie and if they see it or ask about it, I have to say that

they are one reason I hurt or tryed to kill myself.  It won't be easy. I did get a sorry text yesterday

though. He gave me fake sympathy and he told me that we should become friends. I just

responded "okay" while I was sitting there talking to my friend who was commiting suicide.

Well I'll see you after today. Or maybe I won't. Bye


 

January 10th, 2012; 8:20 PM

When she talks to me, I am wonderstuck. I don't have the breath to speak my mind and tell

anyone how I feel. I lie and say I don't love her or even like her anymore. But we all know that's

a lie. I'm head over heals for her&only her. Seeing her makes me want to hurt myself because I

know she will never ever love me as more than her bestfriend. I hate her. I love her. I do not

know anything about how I feel or how I will ever feel. Her voice breaks me, Her touch kills me. I

don't want to talk to her, but at the same time I need to for me to be happy. My skin has taken

too many blades for her to stay.

I give up. She wins. Again.

 

January 10th, 2012; 5:00 PM

Stop telling me what to do and how to handle myself. You don't know any of the pain I am in.

You don't even know what causes any of it. Today I was in 7th period , just sitting and talking

and this kid, I'm not even friends with named Ashton shouted out "Shut up, You don't even

 have any friends".  Sure he probably thought I just sat there and happened to have

had to go to the bathroom. No. I sat there wanting to die even more.  I went to the bathroom

trying to think of how to kill myself without anyone knowing. I couldn't think over the tears and 

pain so I just went back to class. The day before, Bradley did almost the exact same thing. Just

me, talking, sitting, then out of no where "Shut the hell up. No one even likes you" .  Then when I

got home, the cutting stopped. You think it's weird that when I was in pain I stopped cutting?

Thats not why. We were out of bandaids and I was out of room.