Better Off Without Me
Part 2; Who Really Cares?
-------------------------------------
I took my phone and dialed the number to the only
person i thought i could turn to, Cameron. I was still in tears when he
answered. "Hello?"
"Cameron.." I managed to get out between deep
breaths from crying so hard.
"What's wrong babe?" He asked, seeming
concerned.
"Can you come over?"
"Yeah, i'll be right there." I hung up the phone. I
went into the bathroom, and that's when it all started.
I looked into the mirror and saw a completely different
person from this morning. I wiped my eyes and picked up the
razor blade. I couldn't believe i was about to do this,
but i just needed a way to get away from all this misery. It
was only a matter of time before Cameron got there.
Cameron got there as soon as i came out of the bathroom. I
quickly ran into my bedroom and put a sweater on then came
downstairs. "Hey." He said, giving me a big hug.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm..." I started choking up, thinking about
leaving Cameron. He was my only true friend. He was my best
friend. My boyfriend. He was my everything.
"..moving."
He held me tighter, and I could tell that he
was crying, so i started crying even harder.
"When? Where? Why?" He started asking once he pulled
himself together.
"Saturday, Florida, my dad got a new job..." I
sighed. I didn't know how this would affect us, but i
knew it wasn't going to be positive.
"So, what about us?" He asked, kissing my
forehead.
"I don't know." I said, holding both of his hands.
"I love you..."
"Let's try to make this work." He smiled at me, and
gave me a kiss. That was such a relief, it was one of the things
i was most worried about. "I'm going to throw
you a sick going away party." And with that, he ran out
the door. Great, just what i wanted. He didn't even realize
how bad i was feeling right now. I was about to leave my entire
life behind, and he wanted to throw a party.
My dad handed me a bunch of boxes. "Come on
Darbey, start packing." He said, barging into my
room. I was laying on the bed, just thinking, about
everything that could possibly go wrong. What if i make
no friends in Florida? What if Cameron cheats on me? What if all
my friends from California forget about me?
I got up and started putting all my stuff into boxes. I put one
thing in at a time, thinking back to the memories that
every item held. I was going to miss this place, as much as
i hated it sometimes. California was my home, and it has been
ever since i was born. I was in tears by the time i was done
packing up my room. I went and layed back down on the bed,
and before i knew it i drifted to sleep.
The next day at school, everybody already knew that i was moving
tomorrow. Cameron. "Hey babe." He smiled, running
down the hall to meet up with me. I just kept walking to my
locker. "Your party is tonight." He
smiled, wrapping his arm around me. "Everyone is going
to be there."
"I know Cameron." I said, kind of mad, all
he really seemed to care about lately was this party.
"I have to go." I pushed him away and walked down the
hallway.
"Darbey!" I turned around to see my best friend,
Maddy, yelling at me. She ran up to me, "I heard
you're moving tomorrow." She looked completely
torn apart. I gave her a hug. "Now who am i supposed to
hang out with, and get drunk with, and just have fun with?"
She said, starting to tear up.
I needed to get away, from everything. From the crying. From the
party. I just needed to be alone.
When i got home that night, i went into the bathroom, and did it
again. I wasn't proud of it, but it worked. It was a
temporary relief.
I decided to make the most of my last night. I took out a long
sleeve Hollister shirt, and a pair of dark
wash skinny jeans. I loosely curled my hair and
put on a pair of uggs. I was ready to party, i just needed to get
my mind off of things, and have a little fun before i moved.
I had no clue how crazy this party was going to be. But i had a
feeling it was not going to end well.
--------------------------------------
follow? fave? comment? feedback? :)
Better Off Without Me
Part 1; My H*ll Begins
-------------------------------------
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I hit the snooze button
and dragged myself out of bed. I did the same thing that i did
every morning. Went for a shower, curled my hair, then put on my
makeup. I went into my closet and picked out something to wear; a
pair of skinny jeans and a pink tank top, then i grabbed a blue
Hollister sweater and a pair of heels and went downstairs.
I walked down the block to Cameron's house. "Hey
babe." He smiled his amazing smile, and wrapped me in his
muscular arms.
I looked into his shiny blue
eyes and fell in love with him all over again. He looked the same
as he did everyday; his hair swooped across his forehead
perfectly and he was wearing his typical plaid shirt.
"Hey." I smiled up at him, even with heels on Cameron
was taller than me. We walked out to his truck, and drove to
school. This was just the start of the worst day of my life. It
all went downhill from here.
The bell rang at the end of the day, and i got out of there as
fast as i could, without stopping to talk to anyone; not even
Cameron, my day was bad enough already. I just needed some air,
and some time to think.
I walked home without looking back for a second. I thought about
everything. I walked in the front door, my parents were fighting,
again. I let out a heavy sigh and went up to my room. I turned my
music up as loud as it went to drown out my parents screaming at
eachother. I hated when my parents fought.
Dinnertime, me and Matt went downstairs, dreading it all the way
there. We didn't say a word and just sat down at the table.
"Kids, we need to talk to you." My dad said, standing
at the head of the table next to my mom. I was prepared for the
worst, and my stomach sank. "As you probably both noticed,
me and your mom have been fighting a lot lately.." Oh god, i
knew what was going to be said and i could already feel the tears
coming. "We've decided to get a divorce and i'm
moving to Florida, with both of you."
"WHY DO WE HAVE TO MOVE?!" I yelled, jumping up from my
seat, tears streaming down my face. I always preferred my dad,
but i also preferred my life here. I guess i could kiss my
California life goodbye.
"Sweetie, your dad got offered a transfer and he's going
to get paid a lot more money, and i can't afford to take care
of you and your brother with just my income."
Matt just sat at the table, emotionless and still. He had a lot
to lose in California too and i could just imagine how he was
feeling inside. He looked right at my dad and all he said was,
"When are we leaving?" He definetly did not sound
happy.
"Saturday." 2 days?! I only had 2 more days with my
friends, 2 days to say goodbye to everyone..
I stormed up to my bedroom, and slammed the door. I stood against
it and sunk down onto the floor, my hands hugging my legs. I
started crying and couldn't stop. I just cried, for
hours.
--------------------------------------
follow? fave? comment? feedback? :)
Better Off Without Me
Introduction
-------------------------------------
My name is Darbey. I was 16 years old
when i took my own life. I had let everything get so out of hand
and i just couldn't dedal with it anymore, so i had to find a
way out.
i used to be one of the happiest people you'd ever meet. I
had all my friends by my side, a great family life, and the
nicest boyfriend i could ever ask for.
But life can never just stay
perfect, and i got thrown a major curveball. Everything started
going all wrong, and i ended up on a downwards spiral.
I was just your typical 16 year old girl. I had blonde hair and
hazel eyes. I was popular, and a cheerleader, with the football
player boyfriend. I loved my parents and my older brother
Matt.
So, why would i want to kill myself,
right? You'll see.
--------------------------------------
follow? fave? comment? feedback?
:)
hey you.
yes, you. stop being unhappy with yourself. you are perfect. stop
wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you
as much as they like someone else. stop trying to get
attention from those who hurt you. stop hating your
body, your face, your personality, your quirks. love them.
without those things you wouldn't be you. and why would
you want to be anyone else? be confident with who you are. smile.
it'll draw people in. if anyone hates on you because you
are happy with yourself then you stick your middle finger in the
air and say screw it. my happiness with not depend on
others anymore. i'm happy because i love who i am.
i love my flaws. i love my imperfections. they make me me. and
'me' is pretty amazing.
♥nmf