dorkbuttlover7610

do u wana know what i miss?
i miss that fuzzy feeling of a new flirt!
i miss that excitement of a new crush!
i miss being able to hanging with any one with out having to explain myself to anyone but my mom!
but what i miss most of all is being a teen... i feel like an old married lady who wishes to be free but i love you and i don't know what to do

been thinking and thinking and i decided im gona stop planning my every move and take what ever come as it comes and live life for me not worrying about how its gonna effect other people because the quote every one dies but not every one live is true and i havent beeen living ive beenn worrying to much so as of now mi life is gona go the way i want it to and if u don't liek it thenn u won't b a part of the changess and i honestally could care less.... loving life:)<3

some how i thought i was over him i had a couple relation ships since him and now all of a sudden when i though i was in love with some one else... who come into my mind... you ... i try so hard to resist talking to u but the longer it drags on and the more it hurts i love you and i have told you before but we both know that we would be getting ourselves into a world of hurt if we became something but theres just something inside of me that won't let me settle anyone but you  you are all thats on my mind when im with him or when i kiss him or hugg himm sometimes i just wish u were him and everything was perfect just me and you because i love you and i wish we were together and it hurts even more knowing that you feel the same so idk what holding me back what ever it iss itss killing me inside and out im changing and im not likeing it..... I LOVE YOU

Cross out the things you've done.

Graduated high school. 
Kissed Someone.
Smoked a cigarette. 
Got so drunk you passed out. 
Rode in a police car for something you didn't do
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Help someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time without sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class
Dealt drugs.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid). 
Watched someone die.
Been at a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on. 
Written a 10 page letter
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself on accident.
...on purpose
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Dangerously close to being in jail.
Skipped school
Skipped class
Had detention.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school. 
Been in a mental hospital.
Been treated in a mental hospital
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary. 
Fired a gun. 
Had a yard sale.
Had a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand. 
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world. 
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Written over a 30 page essay
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
Befriended someone you shouldn't have
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches
Taken a taxi. 
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Relative to someone with a serious alcohol/drug problem
Been in a fist fight.

Suffered any form of abuse.
Gone surfing in California
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card. 
Did “spirit day” at school. 
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.

isn't dfamily supposed to be the people that are in your life forever and respect u and want you to be happy?... well it looks like i don't have a family... we may have the sae blood but thats not what makes people family its love.. and thats not what this house is full of... hate is more like it... screw it all... wheni move i am gona clear out the guilt and move on not from just this house but from every one in it

_{[A]VAILABLE:nopee:)<3
[B]IRTHDAY: october 20th
[C]RUSH:hes way more thenn that:)
[D]RINK YOU LAST HAD: green tea
[E]ASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: sam &james<3
[F]AVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC: anything 
[G]UMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: depends
[H]OMETOWN: pitts
[ I ]NSTRUMENT(s): guitar
[J]UICE: cranberry
[K]ILLED SOMEONE: not yet ;) jk:P}

         Bests           
1. male friend: James
2. female friend: sam
3. Vacation: hampton beach(james)
_______Worsts_______
1. Time of day: morning
2. Day of the week: tuseday
3. Food:sloppy joes/tomato's
4. Memory: when my uncle died : / 
5. Subject: history
_______Lasts_______
1. Person you saw: mom
2. Talk on the phone with: the hubby ( james)
3. Hugged:mom
4. IMed:cally

_______Firsts_______
1. Kiss: an old best friend.. he was a guy!
2. Car:none yett
3. First school: girls inc
4. Job: Babysitting 
_______Today_______
1. What are you doing now: Listening to music & txtingg
2. Tonight: ill b on the fone and then hopeflly be asleep
3. Wearing: tee shirt and sweats.
4. What did you eat for lunch: nacho's
5: Better than yesterday: nope
_______Tomorrow_______
1. Is: Sunday
2. Got any plans: nope
3. Goal: see himm
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: its just one day closer to school yuck!!
5. Do you have work: No

_______Faves_______
1. Number:7
2. Song:one love-trey songz
3. Color:terccoise haha i can't spell mi fave color... i feel pathetic.
4.Season:all of themm except winter.
_______Currently_______
1. Are you in love?: yes!
3.Missing someone: YES!
4. Mood:tiredd bored ... blahhh

it started of perfect nothing could have been any more perfect!

~the late night conversations till 4 in the morning
~ the cuddling
~ the instant comfortableness i felt with you
~ waking up early in the morning to talk to each other after like 2 hours of sleep
~ the true love feelings and being so sure that it would last forever

and now...
 
~ you say u wana talk to me but the second we get on the fone you always come up with and excuse to hang up
~akwardness
~no more cute txts in my phone from you when i wake up that you know i love
~ no more random calls from you just because u miss you and i was in your mind
~no more warm fuzzy feelings
~no more ...perfectness:"(

i miss it what happened... every thing changed and it seemed to happen over night


not in the mood to make it pretty </3