drpepperlover
Joined: November 17, 2011
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 239830
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drpepperlover's Favorite Quotes
make greater.
If you give her sp.erm, she'll give you
a baby ;
If you give her a house, she will
give you a home ;
If you give her groceries, she'll give
you a meal ;
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her
heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to
her ; so if you give her any cr.ap,
be prepared to get a ton
of sh.t. "
Things to say/do to a telemarker;
"I'm blind, could you repeat that?"
(Speak with perfect English) "I don't speak English, sorry!"
Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" Then hang up.
"My grandma fell off a cliff last week, don't you even care?!" Then hang up.
Act real interested, then at then end tell them no thanks and hang up.
Try to sell THEM something.
Pick up the phone and say "It's completed, but there's blood everywhere."
"Hello, this is the local spe.rm bank. You jack it we pack it! How may we help you?"
me: ugh clothing
me: Ugh hair
me: oh well it's too late to eat breakfast.
me: oh god I hate this place
me: no I don't like you leave me alone
me: Oh your boyfriend broke up with you? Please tell me more about how emotionaly unstable you are.
me: DON'T STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN HALLWAY
me: Nice azz
me: the f-ck you lookin at?
me: I wonder what would happen if I pushed this kid down the stairs.
me: Please just shut up
me: YES HOME
me: YES INTERNET
me: YES BED
If you're going to make me the third wheel on the sidewalk,
at least let me stand in front so I can feel like I'm leading my army into battle.
Pick her up
and pretend you're going to throw her in
the pool.
She'll scream and fight
you,
but secretly, she'll love it.
Hold her hand while you talk.
Hold her hand when you drive.
Just hold her hand.
Tell her she looks pretty.
Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.
Protect her.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Tickle her, even when she says stop.
When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love
her.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Kiss her on the cheek.
Kiss her on the forehead.
Just kiss her.
Let her wear your clothes.
Go slow.
Don't push anything.
When you fall in love with her, tell
her.
He'll
never fall in
love
he swears as he runs his fingers
through his hair.
I am laughing
because I hope
he's
wrong
funniest things I've ever seen. They act like it's a nuclear missle. Like, calm down, bro. It's just a compressd cotton ball. I swear to God, if you ever want a teenage boy to leave you alone just pull out a tampon and throw it in his direction and he will run as far away as possible. It's hilarious.
