1.
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the
store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals
throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can
get
to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all
the
spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift
wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I
think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see
what
happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all
off
and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I
haven't seen
you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to
avoid
embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this
junk,
anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim
you're
taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire
store
as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner,
look
mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted
areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and
Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can
"catch" from
the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Coupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the
Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell
"hello"
upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and
ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have
any
Shnerples here?"
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me
to
your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the
store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's
those
voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines
and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink;
explain
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a
little
umbrella in it.
Me and my
friend were going to get our nails done;
But the night before, we looked up how to say "thank
you" in Chinese
The next day, we went and sat as the ladies talked about
us in the their language.
When it was time to leave, we smiled and said thank you, in
Chinese.
[<3 if you get it.]
How Stupid People Are...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do
not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot
after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the
other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains
nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh... Fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or hair."
(Oh my ... Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On Starbucks paper/cardboard cups thingies: "Warning: The
beverage you are about to drink may be hot."
(Um... duh?!)
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked
for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen
nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's
right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by
the cash register and placed it between our things so they
wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code
she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said
to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for
the things and left. She had no clue to what had just
happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what
she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they
kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy."
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I
knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,
too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
long walk."
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank" copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra
in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He
told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they
have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from
a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do
you guys have a fire downtown?"
8. Police in Radnor,
PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his
head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect
wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried
asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her
to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother
says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him
in to emergency
Lazy with colors; (:
The Basics:
Name: erica
Age:13
Nationality: german, irish, french canadian, etc.
Hobbies: horseback riding, texting, drawing, swimming, hanging
out with the bessstts(:
Love Life:
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope
Do you like someone?: yeeep
Does anyone like you?: idkk
Hugged anyone in the past week?: umm... lemme
think..
Friendships
Who is your best friend?: megan, maria, alanah.
Where did you meet them?: megan & i sat together in math and
we just clicked [lol], alanah i've known for a reeele long
time --> same with mariaaa<3
Did you lose any friends this year?: yes
Gain any?: yeahhhh
Did you hang out with any friends in the past week?: hmm...
New Years Eve
Did you do anything at midnight?: just hung outt(:
Who did you spend it with?: the fammm
Did you have any resolutions?: noope
Valentines Day
Did you have a Valentine?: no
Did you send out any cards/chocolates/etc?: haha noo
Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend on this day?:
noppee
Summer
Did you go on vacation?: nahh
Did you hang out on the beach with friends?: obvv!
How long was your summer break?: almost 3 months i think..
Did you get a tan?: yeess
Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend during the summer?:
nopee
Halloween
Did you go trick or treating?: yeees
If so, who did you go with?: phoebe, maria, katie, ani.
Did you dress up?: kinda..
Was it fun?: deff.(:
Christmas
Who did you spend it with?: famiilly
Did Santa come to your house?: mhhm
Did you stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve?: nahh too
tired
Your Birthday:
Who did you spend it with?: in december
What did you do?: in december
What did you get?: in december
When is it?: decemberr(:
Have You Ever: (Yes or No)
Hugged someone: yess
Electricuted yourself: nope
Climbed more than 60 feet: not suure
Made a Youtube video: yees
Lied to a loved one: yess
Had a nosebleed: noooo
Gotten airsick: nope
Been so bored, you just ate food: hah story of mah lifee
Drank alchohol: never have, never will.
Had a pet: yess
Ran a marathon: no
5 Do’s
1. Do you play any instruments?: no
2. Do you play any sports?: horseback riding
3. Do you believe in 2012?: ehh depends.. nasa does..
4. Do you like cheese?: depends on what kind(:
5. Do you honestly like Obama?: i don't have anything against
him...
4 If’s
1. If you get $1 Million for breaking up with your
boyfriend/girlfriend, would you?: singlee
2. If you were to get $50,000 for killing a rat, would you?: umm,
idk...
3. If you were to choose between your best friend and your
brother/sister, who would you choose?: brothher/sister obvvv
4. If you were to choose between coke/pepsi or sprite/7up, which
would you choose?: cokkeee
3 How’s
1. How old do you want to be when you get married?: not sure
2. How many siblings do you have?: 1 sister
3. How did your last Christmas go?: alrightt...
2 When’s
1. When did you have your first kiss?: (;
2. When did you last have a piece of cake?: who knows, i dont
like cakee...
1 What
1. What would you say if the guy/girl you like right now kissed
you?: hmmm.. :D