She stood silently, watching as they slowly lowered the casket
into the ground. The thud of it hitting the bottom made her
flinch, nausea rising in her throat. She fought the urge to turn
and run, run from this service, from this day. From the truth. He
was gone. Ripped away from her too soon, taken
before his time. He was only twenty-six, damnit. He wasn't
supposed to leave her this soon - not until they were old and
grey.
Pain clawed at her chest and a muffled sob tumbled from her lips.
His brother, standing next to her, wrapped his arm around her
shoulders and pulled her close. He gently guided her forward,
offering his little brother's widow all the support he
could.
Dropping a rose into the grave, her tears spilled over again. He
wouldn't hold her again, never drive her crazy with his
inability to put the cap back on the toothpaste, never curl up on
the couch with her, wouldn't kiss her again.
The soft fluttering in her belly reminded her of the hardest
part. He would never hold their baby girl.
She feels like she's drowning. Everyone expects so much - too
much. She isn't as happy is she looks. She's struggling,
crying out for help - but no-one listens.
It's harder than they think it is - and all she wants is to
make them proud of her, but nothing she does is every enough. She
tries so hard, but she just can't do it.
"I'm fine!" she says, a bright smile on her
face.
Only her pillow, soaked in her pain, her fear and her weakness,
knows the truth.
She sat alone, waiting for someone who never came. Fighting back
tears, she gazed towards the door again, hopeful that they'd
walk in at any moment. They wouldn't forget her, would they?
They promised to help. They wanted to help. Right? She trusted
them. Everyone else had brushed her off, told her that she was
just lazy, that helping her would be 'too hard'.
They weren't
going to give up too, were they?
Alone, she sat. Her chest felt heavy, disappointment burning in
her veins. She knew that she didn't matter to them either.
She was forgettable. Insignificant to them, and to
everyone else.