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user id: 305252

Quotes by elysey

"The only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid, are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone." 
                              ~Taylor Swift




Hi everyone! So, I got this really good idea a couple days ago, and I wanted to add it into chapter 4 of Reflection, and I did. If you go to my website, butterflyescape.weebly.com, you can finish reading it! It's the last chapter :) Thank you and I'm really sorry for this!
You  are



Anybody want to make a new friend?





Chapter 4

"Mom I don't feel well, can I skip school today?" I asked my mom, walking downstairs in my pajamas. My mom stared at me for a few seconds. "I have a headache." I said.
"Okay, I'm going to work." 
I headed back to my room. I was tired, I had no sleep last night. And I didn't want to go to school today, I couldn't, not knowing that everyone knew I cut. I needed time to just figure everything out.
I lost all feelings for David. He never liked me, he was just being nice. I hated people like that, they were too confusing, it was like you never knew if they were your friend, or just pretending to be your friend.
I started over thinking. I replayed everything that happened yesterday. I replayed the first time David said "Hi," to me, I replayed the first time I cut, I replayed all the bullies. You know when you're really sad about one thing that happened, and that one thing makes you think of every other bad thing thats ever happened to you? That happens to me a lot, and it's happening now. I hate it, but there's no way to escape. I forcing pain on myself, but there's no blade involved. And I think killing your mind, is worse than killing your body.
A few hours later, when I knew for sure my mom wasn't coming home, I got my bike and rode it about a mile to a pond. It was beautiful, I always felt better when I went there, but not today. I dropped my bike on the dew covered grass and stared at the water. I stared at my reflection, every slight imperfection staring back at me. I threw a rock in the water and watched it ripple until it was finally still again. I looked back, it was blurry. Tears formed in my eyes. I looked at my wrist and ran my fingers over the scars. 'Why did people have to know about them? Why did I have to create them?' I thought. It's a battle, and I'm never going to forget it now.
A baby duck walked up to me and started quacking, a really quack. It actually made me smile, just for a second. I reached out the pet him but he started walking backwards. 
"Sorry little ducky, I didn't mean to scare you," I mumbled in that sweet voice you talk to all animals in. 
'I wish I had my camera,' I thought to myself, but if I got the camera and came back, the duckling would be gone. So I'd have to take a picture in my mind, and choose whether to remember the duck, or everyone else. I wish I could choose the winner, but things don't always happen the way you want them too. 

Authors Note: Sorry it's short! The next chapter will be longer! Also, comment on this quote if you want a notification for when every chapter is put up! And if you have a twitter, can you please follow my account @fightingwithyou? I made it for anybody who is depressed, or is just going through a tough time. I really love helping people and making them happy :) Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

Every Decision
you make isn't always going to be the
right one,
but it's always going to
be okay.

twitter: @fightingwithyou



I want to make a twitter account like the one
@againstsuicide. It's so inspirational, but I
don't know what my username would be.

Any ideas?




Chapter 3

David didn't talk to me the rest of the week. Maybe he didn't want to deal with a depressed person who self harmed, has insomnia, and was fake. I didn't David to talk to me because I didn't want to fall for him, but I did want him to talk to me because if he stopped, that would make me feel worse. Like I had a chance, and I blew it, even if I meant to.
That probably doesn't make sense, but that's not my problem.
I lied on my bathroom floor with a blade in my hand. I wasn't going to cut, but I felt safer holding it.
"Hanna a friends at the door! Come down!" I heard my mom yell to me. 
I put the blade in my drawer and got up. "Who is it?" I said while walking down stairs.
"David I think it is?"
I stopped halfway through the steps, tilted my head back, and made my fingers into a gun. Boom. I was dead. 
"C'mon Hanna, you need to socialize, all you do is sit in your room all day."
"Yeah, like you care," I mumbled and kept walking towards the door.
"Hey," David said to me.
"Hi. Why are you here?"
"I'm going to take you out. You said you were okay, and I said I'd change that."
"It's fine, you don't have to. Just leave."
"Not unless you're happy."
I getting annoyed, but in that sweet way. The way you actually like being annoyed. "Please go."
"Why won't you come with me, you'll feel better."
"That's not possible anymore." I whispered, watching my breath swirl around in the cold air that was coming inside.
"Fine, I was just trying to stop the scars that are suffocating your wrist. But I guess you don't want that."
"I want somebody to care, I want somebody to come and never leave. You're not that person... How- how do you know about my wrists?"
"News flash, every body does." David started walking away.
I got dizzy. I grabbed onto the stair railing, balancing myself, and then ran upstairs. I was drowning in my own tears. I didn't want anyone to know, I guess I'm a bit late.
I stared at the blade I put away just minutes before. Ten more cuts, and you're out. 

Authors Note: I hope this chapter was a bit more interesting for you all! Hanna finds out that everybody knows she self harms, thats a hard thing to hear, trust me.



Chapter 2

I stared up at the black ceiling, unable to sleep. Oh, did I mention, I have insomnia. I can't stop my thoughts at night, it's impossible, so I just lay here over thinking. Usually it's about my appearance, the only reflection in the mirror, ugly, but tonight it was David. 
'Do I like him? Or am I just tricking myself? He doesn't like me, nobody does, and even if they did, they would never stay... right?' I doubted myself. That's all I ever did. 
Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I sat upright, blood rushing to my head. My clock said 2:43am. 4 more hours until I'd wake up and get ready for school. Great. 
I ran to my bathroom and turned on the lights. I was blind for a minute but lifted the toilet seat as my eyes were adjusting.
I wish I didn't do what I did, but it at least made me feel better. .0000000000001% better. That one little germ hand sanitizer can't get, that's how much better I felt.
I looked in the mirror, I guess I was getting thinner, but I couldn't see it. I still weighed over 110 pounds, I needed to get 109, at least. 
"Haunted" by Taylor Swift blasted in my ears waking me up. I guess I finally fell asleep last night. 
I walked into my closet like a zombie and grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a blue and white striped v neck. I pulled it only quickly. Next was makeup. A thick black line of eye liner, 3 coats of mascara, some concealer, and all that other crap. 
Half an hour later I was sitting on the bus. I stared out the window with my pink sweatshirt on and ear phones glued to my ears. 
"Hey, can I sit here?" I looked up and saw David. 
"Uh, yeah..." I said hesitantly, moving my backpack.
"Thanks." He smiled at me.
I smiled back and looked out the window again. 'Why did I say he could sit with me? I'm such an idiot.'
"So how are you?"
"Only okay?" 
I stared at him, his grin was adorable, "Only okay."
'Why didn't I lie, like I always did? It was better that way.'
"We should change that."
"I guess."
The rest of the bus ride we sat in silence. I was thankful for that. Every time he talked to me I wanted to be prettier, and I knew that wasn't possible.

Authors Note: Hey! So I hope you liked the chapter! It wasn't the best, but whatevsss! ahah :) Sorry it took so long to post, I think I'll have more time now that I'm on Christmas break and thanks for reading! Read my other stories at butterflyescape.weebly.com 

Does anybody notice that... 
               when someone asks how I am, I say
                                 "Okay" and not "Good" like I used too..?