emys9

1. First thing you wash in the shower? hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? hell no, I hate himm.
4. Do you plan outfits? Can't go a day without planning itt.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Depressed, like usual.
6. What's the closest thing to you that red? Laptop
7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? aim
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? All I remember is my best guy friend was there.
9. Did you meet anybody new today? Don't think so.
10. What are you craving right now? better friendships. or food.:P
11. Do you floss? sometimess.
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? grosss.
13. When was the last time you talked on aim? never
14. Are you emotional? sometimes
15. Would you dance to the taco song? yeah
16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? yes
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? boLth.
18. Do you like your hair? No..that's why I'm dying/cutting it :D
19. Do you like yourself. Not one bit.
20. Have you ever met a celebrity. I don't think so..
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Grossness. Nope.!
22. What are you listening to right now? Nails for breakfast, Tacks for Snacks- Panic! At the Disco
23. How many countries have you visited? 0
24. Are your parents strict? Sometimes.
25. Would you go sky diving? Maybee.
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? yes
27. Would you throw potatoes at him? depends
28. Is there anything sparkly in the room your in? haha yeah
29. Have you ever been in a castle? Noo.
30. Do you rent movies often? Haven't watched a movie in a while..
31. Who sits behind you in your math class? jeff and sean
32. Have you made a prank phone call? yea
33. Do you own a gun? nope
34. Can you count backwards from 74? yeah
35. Who are you going to be with tonight? kids I'm babysitting
36. Brown or white eggs? green >:D
37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? yes
38. Ever been on a train? yes
39. Ever been in love? once.
40. Do you have a cell-phone? yes
41. Are you too forgiving? not always..
42. Do you use chap stick? yes
43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? going to school, then hanging out with everyone BUT me. -__-
44. Can you use chop sticks? barely
45. Ever have cream puffs? Don't think soo..
46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yeah
47. What was the last question you asked? Can't remember
48. What was the last CD you bought? CD..not idea..
49. Boys or girls? i <3 boys
50. What is your bus number for school? 89
51. Is your hair curly? Wavy sometimes (:
52. Last time you cried? Last night? Almost a few mins ago..
53. Ever walked into a wall? haha yes multiple times
54. Do looks matter? not always but it helps
55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? nope.
56. Have you ever slapped someone? ha Yes. 
57. Favorite time of the year? summer
58. Favorite color? Dark blue.
59. Are you sarcastic? Me?!Sarcastic!!? Never... *sarcasm*
60. Do you have any tattoos? no
61. The last person you held hands with? no idea..
62. Do you sleep with the TV on? no
63. Where was your default picture taken at? cousins wedding reception
64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? yeah .
65. Do you like your life right now? Not at all.
66. How often do you talk on the phone? Maybe once or twice a week? Maybe.
67. What is your favourite animal? Cat, ostrich, giraffe.
68. What was the most recent thing you bought? bag of chips
69. Do you have good vision? Yeah.
70. Can you hula hoop? yesss
71. Could you ever forgive a cheater? hell to the no
72. Do you have a job? sorta (babysitting)
73. Can you handle the truth? depends
74. What are you wearing? clothes
75. Have you ever crawled through a window? yesss hahah

Witty girls, what's with all the quotes about us needing a guy?

.we don't NEED them; because truth is, we're fine on our own. We just have to learn to stand up and live for ourselves; not him.

NMF

Am I the only one that doesn't know who doesn't know who James Brass is?
who Like Seriously, who's this dude?
[ and why is he attacking Witty ]

NMF

 

 

• click to see this quote •

I've been so depressed lately..
So I decided. 
(I don't want to do it anymore)
I'm just done with life.

20 Confessions in 20 Days;

4- your biggest mistake

4/30/11

My biggest mistake? Ever seeing a way out. Seeing a good future for me. Seeing happiness. Falling when there was never anyone to catch me. My biggest mistake was love.

I'm tired of holding my breath.
For something that won't happen.
    Because lately, I turning to death.
It's not the answer; I know.

    We were over long ago
But I'm still recovering.
    It was like a fight, and I took the blow.
Everything has changed, but that's alright.

    I wish for things to go back to the same
Way they used to be, but came to realization
    You were the only one at blame
You weren't right for me, I see that now.

    The past is past, and now we move on
I struggle everyday, not seeing clearly
   That you won't be there when along comes dawn.
But the sun finally rises, and I'm alright.

    I'm finally seeing, what I truly am.
And I don't need you there anymore
   Everyday you always called me ma'am
And I'm done with that, it was all pointless.

   You had no intention of keeping my heart forever
That's all I ever wanted
   Now you go around flirting with whomever.
So I'm done; finally.

   I asked once, and got what I wanted.
An answer, an explanation.
  That question always flaunted
In my mind, so I finally asked.

  Why would you hurt so bad,
When you know how fragile I was
 But now with my answer, I'm glad
I got up before I fell to deep.

   I still cry a tear here and there
But I know, I'm just wasting my time
  I now know it's all fair
In the pursuit of happiness.

  You helped me through
The tough times I had
  But I'm glad you too
See that what we had wasn't right.

  We rushed into it
Two silly kids,
  Wanting love, not thinking of the split.
It happened, to early on.

  That's what I thought
But I can see, it wasn't meant to be
  In the end, we barely fought.
A smooth ending, was all I ever wanted.

  Smooth, happy,
You couldn't make me now
  I hope you know I felt crappy
Every time you crossed my mind.

  Now I barely think of you
You've moved on, now it's my turn
  And I'll try my best to be happy for you two
It won't be easy, but I'll pull through.

   Once last breath,
Once last good-bye
  And this is our death
Of our past; adios.

  I won't look back
Afraid of it haunting me
  Your hurt was as sharp as a tack.
But it's done, over now.

Adios mi amigo
Farewell I say to you
Our life was lived short, but well
There's nothing left to say.

   So as I leave you for the last time
I smile, knowing
  There's no mountain I can't climb
Thank you for the wisdom you gave me.

  I won't need you anymore
I leave you standing with her.
  I will never be found again, crying on the floor.
As easy as hello was.
   I say good-bye, no more.

Promise

Like a match stricken upon its
case,
Hate is thrown out of ones mouth.

Caution to his emotions is not
needed.
For he does not feel this pain.
As for her, every word is
pain.

She uses hate to tell her
feelings.
Giving him the hint
that all he does is hurt.
Whether in his words or
Actions;
Pain is caused.

She watches him
Hurt the ones she loves.
How does he do it.
With no emotion behind him;
She commonly ponders.

But she may never find the
answer;In his life time.
Many questions she wants to
Ask him.
But she'll never get the
Answers,
That she longs for.

He fights and argues
Thinking he's always right.
Bickering and being rude,
Are his usual ways.
Causing disturbance
Throughout their household.

She sighs,
For there's nothing she can
do.
Saying something, would only
Put her in the way.
She fears rejection
From the father she has;
Knowing that pointing his
flaws out
Will never do anything for
Them.

But one day,
She promises
She'll stand tall.
Correct his mistakes that he
Made,
And bring peace back to their
Family.

Where the word 'hate'
Was used everyday,
She hopes to replace hate
With love.
And where pain was once
Caused,
Happiness will flow.

All she aims for in life,
Is to make that day happen
And live up to her promise.

written April 25, 2011

20 Confessions in 20 Days;
3- your religion
4/25/11

My religion is Atheist. I was born and raised Lutheran. But no longer attend church of believe in that religion.
My parents are disappointed in me for no longer being "want they want." Or "what I was raised to be." But that doesn't matter to me. I love my freedom of though, of belief. I can believe what ever I want and say what ever I want. And that's what they truly raised me to be like. To be myself. Others may bash on my religion, or lack of one, but I don't care. Say what you want, for I am me; and I won't be changing for anyones opinion.

Fights

Grinding my teeth, and
clenching my fists.
I try to slow my breath;
To calm myself.
As anger fills my body,
I can feel it
Coursing through my veins.

Fights, fire scars.
All in my head
Things that I dream of,
reality in reach.

Fights;
I feel the need for them.
To embrace them.
Fighting anything in my path.

Fire;
The warmth of my anger.
I feed on others happiness,
The fuel of my fire:
Upsetting me, causing
disruption.

Scars; I have them all over.
Inside and out.
From battles I've face
throughout my life.
Finding out what I'm really
About;
Figuring myself out.
Battle scars, wounds; all
Worth it to know what I
know now.

As I think before i throw the
first punch,
What am I doing?
What has brought me to this?
And he talks, giving me
The answer.

Hatred,
Anger;
Fiery.
Fuel to this destructive self of mine.

Rethinking, no one can stop
this now.
The future is inevitable,
Trying to alter is would only
Lead to further destruction.

One last thought,
One last breathe.
The punch is thrown,
Future fore-sought;
Anything that happens now
Is all my fault.

And maybe I've just waited
for this day.
To know what really happens.
What I really turn out to be.
When all this could of been
Solved so simple.

And now the same anger
That coursed through my
Veins turns to ice
Slowing me down.
Getting me to think.
We're all human, we all have
Flaws.

People make mistake
But mistakes can also be prevented.
There's warning signs.
Just not everyone chooses to
Listen to them.

In the end
Fire and Ice become one.
A mixture of emotion.
Anger and Bliss.
In the end, which on is
Winning you over?

written April 22, 2011