erikajay

I am currently sitting in a cubical at school because I’m over everything. I hate the fact I’ve become this low, to scared to go to class, to scared to talk to anybody. I wish people knew, the teachers, and my friends that last night I was on the edge. The slightest thing could have triggered me to do it. But once again I didn’t because I don’t want to hurt the few people that actually care about me. I’ve always wanted to see what someones reaction would be if you told them. Like when a teacher asks why your homework wasnt complete and you say because I considering killing myself last night. I’m terrified at the though of school. People say it was the best time of their lives and you should enjoy it, but I don’t see how you can. School is a prison, it’s hell. Your forced to be around the people that you don’t want to be with. Everyone is fake, they promise to be by your side through everything. But they will leave you because your not good enough for them anymore. Being ‘popular’ is all anybody cares about. Unless your beautiful and popular you will not be noticed. Your expected to cope with everything and do all home work and assignments, but I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore, and that’s why I’m sitting in a cubical right now.

Who would notice?
Who would care?
Who would attend my funeral?
Who would be happy?
Who would cry?
What would my "bestfriends" do?
What would my parents do?
What would the kids at school think?
Who would actually miss me?
I wonder how i would kill myself.
I wonder if i have the guts.
I've planned it for a long time.

home is where i can look like a comfortable hobo

stop judging.

she cuts, because its her escape.
she starves herself, because she wants to be perfect.
she wears make up, to hide her insecurity.
she reads and keeps it to herself, because she's scared.
she's a b*tch, because she's broken inside.
she talks to guys, because girls hate her.

you asked me why i was so unhappy,
like it was a simple question.

Favourite if you struggle with depression, or an eating disorder, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADD, OCD, if you self harm, are suicidal or if you have any mental health problem. This is not to seek attention, pity, or judgement. This is to say you are here, and you are not alone. This is to say that no one out there is alone, and we are here to support each other. Favourite

me: *leaves room and walks into kitchen*
dad: hey she cam out of her hole
dad: its like you like in a cave
dad: we haven't seen you in a while
dad: its like you're a gnome or troll or something
dad: you only leave to stock up on food
dad: oh and there she goes:
dad: walking right past me with her food
dad: see you in a few days