finding_nemo

Status: Witty has pictures? Screaming. What.
Joined: February 22, 2012
Last Seen: 9 years
user id: 276903
Gender: F




Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?






 
 

Quotes by finding_nemo


what if you found someone from your school's witty?
Would you comment on their profile?
Tell them at school you found it?
Risk yourself getting found out?

Just curious, what would you do?

friend: But you know the old saying
friend: "You can't teach a pony new tricks" or whatever
me: 
friend:
me: 
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me: It's "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"
friend: Oh.

 
Oh how I love my friends.
 

friend: It hurts to walk in these shoes because I've got blisters on my feet from my toms
friend's mom: Why don't you just wear flip flops so they're not rubbing
friend: I don't like the noise they make
me:
friend's mom:
me:
what.
friend: The 'flip' and 'flop' noise it makes when you walk.


 
I plan on wearing flip flops to school on Monday just for her

 






If your biggest concern is a zit
then I think you need to reconsider your life.

code credit: LCostello





How I prioritize my life:

Is it going to matter tomorrow?
how about in a week?  
five months from now? 
No? 
Then who the h.ll cares?



 


So, my mom's weird and when my brothers and I were little
she would call our armpits 'bird nests'  and every time we'd have our arms up she'd tickle us and say 'don't let those eggies fall out' because I don't know she's weird. 
Anyway, in 2nd grade I don't even remember what was going on but my teacher asked 'what's this called?' pointing to her armpit. Me, being the proud second grader I was, I raised my hand and she called on me and I said, 'your bird nest.'
She was quiet for a long time before callng on someone else who answered 'armpit'




 

And that is how I learned what your armpit is called.
 

*My brother telling my mom a story*
brother: So I walk in
me: Like what up I got a big c/ck?
me: Were you so pumped you bought some sh/t from a thrift shop?
brother:
brother: You're the second person to do that to me today.



 




" When did the future switch from
being a promise
                to a threat?"


 
*My brother walks into my room with my cat*
brother: Elroy (my cat) you're so cute.
brother: Look there's your mom (pointing at me)
brother: Wanna go see my mom? 
*Walks into living room*
brother:
There's my mom
brother: Elroy if I was a cat I'd be gay with you.
*Walks back into my room*
me:

brother: Yes, I'd be gay with Elroy if I was a cat.



My brother ladies and gentleman.




Us Wittians,
See we're all a little f.cked
But that's okay because it adds character to this anti-social network

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