1: i went to britain with kirsten. we went to kidnap hot
british boys so we could learn british accents because they
don't sell british people on ebay.
paragraph 2: while in england, we met up with kate. we went
to babys 'r us and helped her pick out baby stuff and
then we had tea and scones with her and william and helped
brainstorm names. we decided that if it was a girl it was
gonna be kirsten and if it was a boy it was gonna be
paragraph 3: as we were leaving buckinham palace, we noticed
some of those impassive guards with the big fluffy hats. we
made it our mission to get them to talk, or show some type of
emotion. we taunted them from noon all the way til the next
morning, and finally i said kirsten lets go and one of them
said, thats a weird name and they all said yes and we
rejoiced in victory.
paragraph 4: here are some facts about england: it is full of
english people, there are hot guys that we bought to be our
bffs, they drink a lot of tea. their accents are awesome.
it's called england and is in europe. their kings used to
be really fat and mean.
paragraph 5: THE KIDNAPPING for the next few days of our trip
we walked around england looking for some really hot british
guys with even hotter british accents. once we found them, we
stalked them. when they went home we snuck in through the
windows and then kidnapped them. they didn't know what
hit them cuz we were like ninjas. on the plane ride back to
america we found out that one of the three was gay. so we
decided that i could have one, kirsten could have one, and
then we could share the gay one as our gay guy best friend.
when we set foot in america the three boys rejoiced and
thanked us for saving them from rainy