fionarose

Status: And I just lost everything that ever meant anything
Joined: November 18, 2011
Last Seen: 6 years
user id: 240084
Location: Australia
Gender: F

Hello Beautiful!

-  Fiona  -  17  -  Single -

Where to start?
I've  had depression for several years, starting from... I don't really remember when; when I was about 11 I think. I self- harm, have for maybe3 years now, and have attempted suicide a few times.

I really would love to be one of thiose people who can list off a heap of friends, but I'm not going to bother because my list would have maybe 4 people on it... people you should follow is a bit easier though:

-LivingDisaster (Teneale)
-_unknown_ (Anastasia)
-Sierrafreek (Jake)
-AmyBird66 (Amy)

...Or maybe it's not so easy. Let me know if you want to be added to my list :)

Follow for a follow?


If you ever need someone to talk to, my email address is
il_listen_to_you@hotmail.com
Feel free to email me whenever about whatever, I don't mind if we've never spoken.

Stay strong!
xx




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Quotes by fionarose

So I told him I love him, and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me

I told him again before I left same he said "you know it would never work between us... we live in completely different worlds"

I really wish he didn't kiss me like that if he didn't feel the same way...
He leaves tomorrow,
He's going to an even smaller country town to work on property,
And he doesn't get back until I leave for uni in February...

I love him, but he won't let me love him
He comes back around when I leave for 4 years with little time to come back
And just when I thought we finally had a chance to be together
I've decided that I need to stop self harming.

I need to stop adding to my collection of scars that is already far too large.

I have decided that while I always felt that self harming helped and made me feel better, that it is time I started to deal with my issues properly

And this is how I'm going to start- the first issue I'm going to face is self harm.

I never realised how ashamed I am of my scars until recently when I added some hurtful words to my collection of scars.

Now I know that I am strong enough to stop, so I am going to.

It isn't going to be easy by any means, but I think it is time that I stopped
I don't know if you could say we stopped loving each other,

But rather, I think we just stopped trying to make it work
So maybe from the outside my childhood looked great, Private school, piano lessons, pretty clothes, freedom as soon as I was old enough. But from the inside, it was awful, ridiculous expectations, bullies, a home life full of arguments and unhappiness, and constant loneliness. Don't judge until you've been there yourself
I don't know what to do. I just feel lonely all the time, and it hurts. Even around people I feel lonely and I don't know how to fix it...
The best thing that has happened to me is this; and it hasn't even happened yet...

I have exactly 8 weeks left, only 4 weeks of classes, so that's 18 days of classes, only 72 classes left- 12 of which are spares anyway

Until I can turn my back on the hell hole they call high school, and never look back
Today I actually decided to do something about my weight problem, and so I can finally be proud of my body for my formal and for summer! I'm so happy that I will finally accept my body
And the cruel reality of this life is: That I am completely alone, with no one to love, and no one to love me
I guess he worked out that I'm a lost cause. That not even he can save me from myself
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