Sitting here alone in the lobby. No one notices
me. Am I shocked? Not at all. I've become more and more
invisible to everyone. There has been no day then today in which I
desired to leave this school. I have no one anymore. I'm
alone.I want a new school, new friends and a fresh start. I find
that Iif anyone read my thought;s they'd nearly be in tears. I
loathe this feeling of lonliness and sorrow. It's truly a
terrible feeling to have everyone moving swiftly around you and you
just sit there and watch there feet pass by. Everyone that
surrounds me is with there best friends and boyfriends. This makes
me feel more lonely, everyone has a companion and the only one I
have, a mans best friend, is my dog.They are the only ones who are
there to listen and not get tired of my constant weeps. Everyone is
so oblivious as to what I feel inside. Don't you know silence
is a girls loudest cry?
Mother has noticed a difference but continues to joke about it. If
only she knew... how upset she'd be knowing all the signs were
there but wouldn't look away from her jewelry long enough to
notice my ongoing pain. I haven't been turning to self harm
anymore but the only outlets I have are talking to my cousin,
listening to music, and dancing. I'm almost positive that if
music didn't exist I wouldn't either. The music are the
words that tell me I'm not the only one feeling the way I have
been.
I've lost all people who did make me happy at one point in
time. Although, it was such a short time they were in my life, they
made a huge impact on my life. Maybe if I never had them I
wouldn't have this pain right now. Who knows? Certainly not me.
I'm lost wihtout everyone, but they seem happier withought me
and that has seemed to be my life reason, to make other people
happy before myself.
Sincerely,
the girl too shy to speak up.
- true storym, true feelings... Should I continue?